From nov 2013 board

CarrieB.

So there's a post on my baby month board basically asking if its okay to ask for donations to help out for IVF costs on Facebook.

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12042231/ivf-donations#latest

I just think it is so weird. It would have never crossed my mind to ask anyone for money for such a personal thing and especially on Facebook.

IBackBevo

I think it is tacky. Every one has their own struggles--financial and otherwise. I would never, ever, ever ask on Facebook.

jessica_gail2

I wouldn't be comfortable doing that but I guess to each his own. I have heard of a lot of ppl trying to adopt that have asked for money and had fundraisers though.

Dragonfly1226

I am very lucky to have amazing insurance coverage and paid next to nothing for my Clomid, imjectable IUI cycles, IVF cycles, and FETs. i don't know what I would have done if we didn't have insurance coverage.

If you read the post the couple made a FB page to raise money. I actually don't see anything wrong with that. People fundraise for all sorts of things so why not this? People can choose whether or not they want to donate.

Mrs.AmyDylan

I'm just not that open on FB about my life. We are in a position with some insurance coverage and our house renovation fund that we were able to dish out the bucks for IVF. 

I would have considered asking our parents if we were staring down the never-going-to-afford-it and time-is-running-out dilemma.

I applaud that more people are willing to talk about IF. While asking for IVF donations isn't the same as donating to someone sick child fund, I don't think they need to be ashamed to ask for help. 

ccam

I personally would never ask for money, especially not through a FB page.

TJ1979

@mg0202 Big hugs to you, and high fives to your mom!  That was so awesome of her.  I'm so glad you and YH decided to accept it, you definitely deserve your sweet girl.

mcgeeva

Me and my friend got in a huge argument/debate over this. I 100% do not think it is okay. Two...I still think if you haven't had fertility issues or paid for it you couldn't possibly know anything about it to even debate over it. Why should I have to save like everyone else and give up things to afford having a baby one day. I was told they were good people and good people deserve help which im sorry has ZERO to do with it. They already already have a home, cars, jobs etc. I don't have fertility coverage just like most of the population. It stinks but like everyone else we have to give up vacations, eating out etc to save up what it important to us even when it takes multiple times.

mcgeeva

Dragonfly1226 said:

I am very lucky to have amazing insurance coverage and paid next to nothing for my Clomid, imjectable IUI cycles, IVF cycles, and FETs. i don't know what I would have done if we didn't have insurance coverage.

If you read the post the couple made a FB page to raise money. I actually don't see anything wrong with that. People fundraise for all sorts of things so why not this? People can choose whether or not they want to donate.

I feel like this is what is wrong with the world. People raise money for everything now. On the radio they were discussing the site where people can set up their cause which can be for anything and one person was asking to raise money for their kid's private school tuition. Meanwhile the parents are millionaires who are asking for the money. It's so wrong. I like to give money to causes like foundations trying research and find cures for diseases etc. But when it comes to donating money so you don't have to give up anything..not okay with that.

mcgeeva

mg0202 said:

 

I personally would not ask on facebook, but I have a friend right now who has an adoption fundraiser page, and have friends in the past who asked for donations for race for the cure and other things along those lines.  If I want to donate I do, if not I ignore it.

When we realized IVF was are only option we were done.  We were OOP and could not afford it.   My mother gave us some money, I never asked, she offered.  Pride almost made me turn it down, but DH and I decided to take it.  We qualified for a discount with the RE, and found some medication discounts.  we also scrimped and saved every penny and were able to pay for it. Without all of that we were going to be child free.  I am so thankful for everything that was given to us so that we can have J in our lives. 

I also applaud them for being so open about there struggles.  I think it is another way for people to become more aware of IF.

 

Now if family chooses to give money that is amazing. Totally different situation. I was just not in a situation where my parents offered and how I was raised I was never allowed to ask no matter the situation. Little back story for those of you wondering why I am so against this. Before I knew I had fertility issues when I was younger I donated my eggs so I could help pay for my wedding since I was working two jobs and just not cutting it. During that time I found out exactly what was going on with me. After I donated I donated a second time because the family got pregnant and wanted another baby which I just couldn't say no to because it's an amazing gift. Then years down the road had to turn back around and go back to the same place I already knew anyone both times to get pregnant totally oop as well. I am not saying I don't agree with people helping pay for others because of my situation. I think you should do what you feel is right. I just know I work incredibly hard for my money and had to give up a ton to get pregnant both times myself that it's hard for me to see people reach out asking for things when they are not willing to give up a single thing in their life. And yes I am not saying this is every situation because I am sure there are people that have been through IVF and are completely broke and their dream is to only have a baby and they already depleted all their funds and have zero resources left. That to me would be a different situation. Just saying. So please don't flame me for having a difference of opinion

IBackBevo

If a family member offers money, that is (in my opinion) completely different.  Even asking a close family member for money is different.  I 100% applaud those women who set up pages or blogs about their IF journey and are open about it on facebook. I love it, in fact!  I think that anything to raise awareness and make people see IF as a medical issue is great.  But asking for money on facebook is NMS. 

mdiblasi10

I would never do it myself. It's just not my thing. I don't really have any judgement/opinion on others doing it. That's there thing and people can choose to donate or not. My Mom has always offered to help if we needed it, but we were able to get by with zero IF coverage. We spent almost $7,000 on testing and treatments over about a six month period. My husband's insurance changed last year to include Infertility Coverage, so we added me on in case we needed to do IVF or treatments for baby #2.

kbeach82

Dragonfly1226 said:

I am very lucky to have amazing insurance coverage and paid next to nothing for my Clomid, imjectable IUI cycles, IVF cycles, and FETs. i don't know what I would have done if we didn't have insurance coverage.

If you read the post the couple made a FB page to raise money. I actually don't see anything wrong with that. People fundraise for all sorts of things so why not this? People can choose whether or not they want to donate.

Pretty much all of this. We are extremely fortunate because our insurance coverage is amazing (which is why our policy would cost upwards of $1,400/month if we were to pay for it OOP, and that's based on the cost my employer pays, not the OOP cost or an individual). One of the main reasons that I still work part time is to maintain this particular insurance coverage for our family.

Having said that, would I personally ask for donations for IVF via FB if our situation were different? I don't think so. But I don't see anything wrong with this couple setting up a fundraising page. If people disagree or would rather not support their efforts financially, then they can choose not to contribute.

Saraevh

Dragonfly1226 said:

If you read the post the couple made a FB page to raise money. I actually don't see anything wrong with that. People fundraise for all sorts of things so why not this? People can choose whether or not they want to donate.

I don't know if I see anything wrong with this either.  I personally have never thought of asking for money from anyone for anything and I wouldn't send everyone on my friend list a private message asking them to give me money, but I don't think setting up a page for whoever to follow if they want to with a link to how they can help financially if they choose to is a big deal.  I actually donated to an old friend who was pursuing adoption after a horrible triplet pregnancy outcome as well as a friend who got lymes disease and needed major liver surgery and was unable to pay her bills and an old high school classmate that has needed years of therapy and will be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life after a diving accident.  Now that I think of it, I've also donated to people who have lost love ones to help with arrangement costs and stuff as well.  I guess I don't see how this is that much different?  For me it would depend how they went about asking for the money and how well I knew them.