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Working Moms
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Sometime being a parent sucks
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in Working Moms
This may sounds stupid to some, but this is a difficult situation for us. We have come to the decision that we have to pull our son off of his travel soccer team and put him back on a rec team. It is just a bad coaching situation, and turning into a bad situation for him. It was very apparent when the team had a few games this weekend that this is not a situation we want him to be in. He is struggling with it too, knowing that he is not happy, but also being excited that he made the travel team, and he is good friends with at least 4 of the kids on the team. For those reasons he does not want to give it up but we know we need to make a change.
My husband is so upset over this, because he feels like he pushed him to be on this team knowing it was not going to be a good fit. So he is literally sleepless over this. I am actually feeling better now that we made the decision because my gut instinct a few months ago told me this was not right.
He is only 8 and it is only soccer so it seems so stupid to be worked up over this. But DS was so excited when he made the team, and got all of his travel team gear, and he does love playing with his friends. To take all of that away from him truly, truly sucks.
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Re: Sometime being a parent sucks
I guess I would want to know more about what "a bad coaching situation" means.
1) If the Coach was in any way being verbally abusive/inappropriate with the kids then that is something that more than just you are probably noticing, and really I think you should talk to other parents and address the situation with the coach.
2) If it's a "wow...this coach doesn't know the game/rules is a incompetent coach", maybe others also feel the same and things can be done to address the situation. It is the beginning of the season. no reason to ride it out at this point. make a change.
3) If it is purely that you think your child is being singled out and treated differently then maybe there is less chance of things changing, but would still be worth talking with the coach about.
See where my brain is?...I am having a hard time understanding what would make you just pull your kid from the team without a little bit of work to resolve an issue first, or see if any of the other parents also see it as an issue.
I played on a TON of sports teams growing up. I had coaches I liked, coaches I adored, coaches I didn't like, coaches I really didn't like....all the experiences were good for me. To learn to work for/with someone you don't care for, but doing something you love....Best life lesson you can learn. Because let's face it, everyone has worked for a boss they dislike, in a job that they do like.
If your kid agrees it's in a issue for him, and based on the fact the coaches won't address the issue when you brought it up then it is probably the best decision to have him drop out.
At least you made the decision early and he will get to play rec for the season.
There was one year that I was on a team where I wasn't the best so I sat the bench, A LOT. I went to my parents asking them to let me quit after every game. They didn't let me. They talked through it with me and I had a sit down with the coach, with them present, to talk about what needed improvement. That is probably one of the top life lessons in my life. Learning to understand that although my parents always tell me I'm the best and deserve game time, that maybe I'm not the best and need to improve. The coach gave me a short list of things I needed to improve on to get on the field during games. I promised him, my parents and myself to work harder on those areas at each practice. And I did improve, I eventually made a state team and played in an international tournament. I credit a lot of it to the lesson I learned at 10- ask what I need to improve instead of saying "I deserve this because." It has worked well for me in business as well- sure, I feel like I deserve a raise right now, clearly-my boss doesn't or I'd have one, right? So I often ask my boss what it takes for me to get to the next level, what I need to improve on, what changes she recommends. Sometimes the truth hurts, but if you learn at an early age that it can be helpful and use it to your advantage, you can use it to get ahead. I'm glad my parents didn't let me quit because it may have caused my attitude to be more of "if I don't think I'm good enough for something, it's ok, settle for 2nd best and I don't have to work hard at improving"
Sorry I was so wordy, I guess this topic hit close to home for me. Just wanted to give you a couple of things to consider. I really appreciate what my parents did for me. You ultimately know your son best and can help him make the best decision. Just wanted to give you another perspective in case it helps you or someone else reading this board.
@Mrs.AllyH - that is great advice - thank you! DS did make another travel team during tryouts, and we will probably move to that team next year, but I think at this point in the season it is late to go back to them and ask if he can be on that team. The team rosters are set, there have already been two tournaments, etc.
And if it were a situation where we felt it was in DS's best interest to just deal with it and that he would get something out of it, we would, but that does not seem to be the case here. And it is not just that he is unhappy - we are too. He is too young (just turned 8) and we spend too much time at soccer practices and games, to have it be something that makes the whole family unhappy. If he were older and it was a sitting-on-the-bench situation we may have him deal with it for the season. But at this point we don't want his love for the game to be tarnished by the situation he is in, and we are afraid that is what will happen.