First time in Daycare - crying all day. Help!

bornmommy

Any advice is good advice for me right now so let 'er rip!  DS was home with my SIL for the first year of his life and since I am a teacher, we've been home together all summer.  Well, school is starting and so we started daycare last week.  He was only able to go two days because of a death in the family out of state but both days, the daycare lady (its an in home) called me pretty much asking me to come get him because he was crying for over four hours.  I obliged but I know that this has to get better without my help soon because I'll be back at work next week.  He is 15 months so I know this is a tricky time for separation anxiety and theres teething and he has an ear infection... but I'll take any advice into consideration as to what I can do or tell the daycare lady to make this better for him.  This is a huge adjustment for him. 

emberlee3

Tell her your tricks for comforting him. Be quick and positive when you leave him. Picking him up early will only prolong his adjustment. I like centers because they have the staffing to devote extra snuggles to LOs when they are new. DD start daycare at 11 months. She cried a lot at first, but her teachers took turns holding her, and within a couple if weeks, she was fine.

jnealet

Talk to him about it and how much fun he's going to have and what good friends he's going to make.

Can you take him shopping for something that he can bring to daycare and share?  Maybe a snack or a flower for the teacher and each child? 

bethann3181

I sent DS in with his lovey blanket that is so attached to.  It helped him to have that until he was more comfortable being there.  I also sent a few pictures of our family in that he could look at and hold, again until he was comfortable and didn't need them.  Good luck - I know this is really hard!

LoCarb

I always drop off with a snack-it's a great distraction.

However, shame on your DCP for calling you asking to pick him up?!  It's her job to comfort him and she should know there is an adjustment period.  Unless he is physically ill or hurt she does not need to ask you to pick up your LO.  EI's are better within 24 hrs of antibiotics. DCP calling to give you an update and asking for calming techniques is acceptable.  I would be asking your DCP what activities she is engaging with LO and what she has tried.  If he's left in a crib or a high chair all day, I would be screaming too. Maybe to pop in for a surprise visit.

bornmommy

Thanks everyone!  I sent him with his bear yesterday and she said that he clung to it all day and that it made him better.  He is back there with it today.  @LoCarb - I don't know if she was calling me to come get him when she called but I immediately offered (I couldn't handle hearing him scream over the phone.) and she accepted.  She didn't call yesterday and we had a long talk about him taking time to get used to her and she is more than happy to work with him.  She told me some stories of other kiddos she has had in the past that had a hard time transitioning and she told me what she would do to help.  Thanks for your comment, though.  I totally agree she can't do that again and if she does, I'll find another place... and go through this all over again! 

nymom1015

I was going to write the same thing "Shame on them for asking you to pick him up", but a lot of us mothers are quick to say "I'll pick him/her up".  Soon he will love it,  he just needs to adjust like any of us would to something new. Good luck, I'm glad to hear it's getting a little bit better.

st.augbride

Were you able to do some shorter days to help with the transition at all? Like two days for a few hours where you stay, and then another few days that only go to lunch, or something like that? I know that can help. Other than that, just getting out of there as quickly as possible and leaving him with any items that might comfort him, telling the provider his favorite snacks/games/toys, etc... Good luck! I know it's tough.

bornmommy

@st.augbride  - We did a transition period but today and tomorrow I choose to do full days because I'm back at work Monday. 

It was a rough drop off this morning with him crying, clingy, and reaching towards the door.  BUT yesterday he was actually playing with kids when I picked him up so its definitely gotten better during the day.  I just hate how upset he is when I leave him.  (I know my heart will break when he runs there happily...if that ever happens!) Thanks again for the advice!!