getting pregnant "accidentally on purpose"

grumbledore

wickedsugar said:

maplesyrup12345 said:

Yeah I'm exactly like those teenage girls. LMAO god

Well.. That's actually how you do sound, rather than being an adult & having an adult covo with your BF.

Ditto this.  

MamaInInk07

Jesus, I fucking missed this place.

Erica314

maplesyrup12345 said:

The title of the thread is meant to be generic... and to all you ladies saying I need therapy need to step off. I definitely do not need therapy because of this situation. I will be discussing this in more detail with my SO. Of course I love him and respect him I just feel if he's encouraged me to go off bc then we were on the same page. My desire for a child may just be greater than his right now, and I can't speak for him but he may just not think I will get pregnant quickly. Marriage has been a topic as well but we both just don't see the point in that right now. I don't think anyone on this board should jump to insults or harsh comments. No woman is the perfect mother wife or partner.

 

 

 

Ermm... Obviously you are *not* on the same page if you feel like you're going behind his back.  Why on earth would you not just bring up that you think you're ready to have a child together?  You're attitude about the situation makes me think you are doing this for all of the wrong reasons.  Counseling might help you gain some clarity, and there is zero shame in seeking professional advice...

Erica314

wickedsugar said:

maplesyrup12345 said:

Yeah I'm exactly like those teenage girls. LMAO god

Well.. That's actually how you do sound, rather than being an adult & having an adult covo with your BF.

Ditto this. 

Ditto x2.... I feel very sad for everyone involved in this plot.  Mom, Dad, and potential LO

maplesyrup12345

I am going to TRY to redefine this post... But yes my SO and I had a real great conversation about this yesterday and the night before.

 I gave my reasons to him of what I want: to at the very least "see what happens" but with a DEFINATE mutual understanding that it may happen and if it does what does that mean??? 

With me being off all forms of BC (which btw HE encouraged) I assumed that meant  YAY!!!! Baby making time!!!! Yet when we decided on this and I indeed in fact ASKED "are we trying?" His response was "let's just see what happens" really mentally made me over think everything. I assumed "see what happens" meant he was indifferent... so I just ran with those thoughts of: ok, well if I do WANT this baby and try to make it happen I'm secure enough to know I could take care of the baby alone(financially, emotionally,etc) and wouldn't pursues child support(only because if he wants to be involved... to me that wouldn't be a road I take and if he doesn't why go through the hassle of court.) Then I googled a few things of similar situations that lead to the term "accidentally on purpose". Which I kinda felt I fit into in SOME WAYS because there was no definitive understanding of going off bc.. I can admit that after reading all the post and blogs of "accidentally on purpose" it clouded my logic and some of those posts or blogs I felt I could relate.

HUGE lapse in judgment and logic. I also do get more emotionally tied into motherhood given my families fertility issues and my own(at 17 I had my removed my left ovary due to cysts and a few other issues) And to be honest knowing I could support a child alone if need be.

Anyways!!! ABOUT THE CHAT with my SO.... once it was hashed out we ARE on the same page of see what happens but yet trying. I explained my whole thoughts and posts on here and he just held me and said "I just assumed you knew I was obviously all for trying, but to just see how it goes no crazy stress of "TRYING" with timed sex and hormone pills/injections etc( he's obviously not informed of fertility options/ reasoning/ or the need for fertility help) let's just have fun" he stressed that over and over. He did say no matter what happens he wants to and will always be involved with his child's life. 

I really feel like an ass after all this! But at least I have it figure out now.

Can we all get along now and chalk this up to just a huge and misguided(assine on my end) post?!?

maplesyrup12345

Please go back and re-read what I said! I never once said I was thinking about it. My SO, (being a typical male) just didn't want me to go crazy about over thinking the "fun with trying" ( timing sex, hormones thing) he doesn't get it....

maplesyrup12345

Like I said before; I'm soooo happy he and I had this talk. However, I will still reinerate I was an ass in all this, only because I got wrapped up in my own head and didn't discuss these concerns or questions or doubts with my SO....AGAIN! Can we all move on?!?! 

Above poster: it took my grandmother 10 yrs to get pregnant with my mom, and 8 miscarriages. Granny was married at 24, they were in the process of adoption when getting  pregnant with my mom, then another few miscarriages later my auntie was born to granny  at age 40, and the last child my uncle at 46....

My mother miscarried a few times before me and at age 29 got pregnant and had me at 30...and trying for another child had to have a hysterectomy due to endometriosis. So yes women in my family have a hard time conceiving.... 

maplesyrup12345

Thank you for the kind words AFwifelife .. but can anyone at least somewhat understand my side? Not saying I'm going to jump to fertility treatments.... I'm scared but excited! And also realistic... again here I am over thinking things lol

kcisthebombdotcom

maplesyrup12345 said:

Like I said before; I'm soooo happy he and I had this talk. However, I will still reinerate I was an ass in all this, only because I got wrapped up in my own head and didn't discuss these concerns or questions or doubts with my SO....AGAIN! Can we all move on?!?! 

Above poster: it took my grandmother 10 yrs to get pregnant with my mom, and 8 miscarriages. Granny was married at 24, they were in the process of adoption when getting  pregnant with my mom, then another few miscarriages later my auntie was born to granny  at age 40, and the last child my uncle at 46....

My mother miscarried a few times before me and at age 29 got pregnant and had me at 30...and trying for another child had to have a hysterectomy due to endometriosis. So yes women in my family have a hard time conceiving.... 

Fertility issues run in both sides of the family. I have endo and an autoimmune disease which can cause difficulties in getting and staying pregnant. I conceived my son on my third cycle off bc and my daughter using pull and pray as birth control. Ive never miscarried. Your family's history (and heck, even your own) does not always impact fertility.

SmileyJay

If he knows you guys are not using birth control and you have not lied and said something like "im infertile!" then you aren't tricking him unless he is too dumb to understand how babies are made.

If you say "lets have a baby" and he says "no, absolutely not. I am not ready for it" but then will have unprotected sex... then, I don't think that is someone's DNA that is worth reproducing. Ya know what I mean?

This is really irresponsible behavior and a pity the child that will have such a short sighted and selfish mother. Maybe you just wrote this post to get people riled up? Not sure.

maplesyrup12345

I think I've cleared this up by now so this is my last post regarding it.

maplesyrup12345

Just so you all don't think this is a joke or drama fueled I am back. I spent 6weeks over seas litigating with oil companies.

JJBish

maplesyrup12345 said:

It's not tricking him at all.... sorry for such a complicated post.....I was just trying to express that since he encouraged me to go off all bc is it wrong that I start actively trying to get pregnant..... meaning if I don't tell him I'm counting my ovulation chart.

And to other posters... it's not selfish! Sure it's ideal and "picture perfect" to raise children with a mother and father but it is 2013 not 1953! I am not promoting women everywhere to just get pregnant! It's just my personal experience! Just because a child doesn't have a mother or father full time or even part time doesn't mean they will end up "screwed up" or "unloved" Christ!!!! You women need to get out of then50's

I agree!! I don't think it's wrong at all! Sometimes you have to look out for yourself and your future child, and if that means a bit of "deceitfulness", then so be it! My husband wants to have a child, but is so preoccupied with his work and games that he keeps putting off when he agrees to trying with me. Extremely frustrating! We are in our late twenties, married for several years, and financially stable. I have considered going this route because I know he will be a good dad; he just needs a bit of a push.

For all the haters being rude and judgemental, shame on you! Everyone's situation is different. In my case, I have a loving husband who is scared, and refuses to see that for *ME* his wife, the timing could not be better. I am tired of being on his schedule because of his fears, knowing that he will ultimately be an amazing and wonderful father. For maplesyrup, she is at a point in life where she could have a baby on her own, and her partner's on board, then great! My sister went the way of buying sperm because she was 35 and no partner in sight. She raised her son for 6 years before finally meeting her spouse. Things can work out! Sometimes fate needs an opportunity to happen!!

Ducktale

JJBish said:

maplesyrup12345 said:

It's not tricking him at all.... sorry for such a complicated post.....I was just trying to express that since he encouraged me to go off all bc is it wrong that I start actively trying to get pregnant..... meaning if I don't tell him I'm counting my ovulation chart.

And to other posters... it's not selfish! Sure it's ideal and "picture perfect" to raise children with a mother and father but it is 2013 not 1953! I am not promoting women everywhere to just get pregnant! It's just my personal experience! Just because a child doesn't have a mother or father full time or even part time doesn't mean they will end up "screwed up" or "unloved" Christ!!!! You women need to get out of then50's

I agree!! I don't think it's wrong at all! Sometimes you have to look out for yourself and your future child, and if that means a bit of "deceitfulness", then so be it! My husband wants to have a child, but is so preoccupied with his work and games that he keeps putting off when he agrees to trying with me. Extremely frustrating! We are in our late twenties, married for several years, and financially stable. I have considered going this route because I know he will be a good dad; he just needs a bit of a push.

For all the haters being rude and judgemental, shame on you! Everyone's situation is different. In my case, I have a loving husband who is scared, and refuses to see that for *ME* his wife, the timing could not be better. I am tired of being on his schedule because of his fears, knowing that he will ultimately be an amazing and wonderful father. For maplesyrup, she is at a point in life where she could have a baby on her own, and her partner's on board, then great! My sister went the way of buying sperm because she was 35 and no partner in sight. She raised her son for 6 years before finally meeting her spouse. Things can work out! Sometimes fate needs an opportunity to happen!!

omfg there's two of them.

TikiTurtle

Ducktale said:

JJBish said:

maplesyrup12345 said:

It's not tricking him at all.... sorry for such a complicated post.....I was just trying to express that since he encouraged me to go off all bc is it wrong that I start actively trying to get pregnant..... meaning if I don't tell him I'm counting my ovulation chart.

And to other posters... it's not selfish! Sure it's ideal and "picture perfect" to raise children with a mother and father but it is 2013 not 1953! I am not promoting women everywhere to just get pregnant! It's just my personal experience! Just because a child doesn't have a mother or father full time or even part time doesn't mean they will end up "screwed up" or "unloved" Christ!!!! You women need to get out of then50's

I agree!! I don't think it's wrong at all! Sometimes you have to look out for yourself and your future child, and if that means a bit of "deceitfulness", then so be it! My husband wants to have a child, but is so preoccupied with his work and games that he keeps putting off when he agrees to trying with me. Extremely frustrating! We are in our late twenties, married for several years, and financially stable. I have considered going this route because I know he will be a good dad; he just needs a bit of a push.

For all the haters being rude and judgemental, shame on you! Everyone's situation is different. In my case, I have a loving husband who is scared, and refuses to see that for *ME* his wife, the timing could not be better. I am tired of being on his schedule because of his fears, knowing that he will ultimately be an amazing and wonderful father. For maplesyrup, she is at a point in life where she could have a baby on her own, and her partner's on board, then great! My sister went the way of buying sperm because she was 35 and no partner in sight. She raised her son for 6 years before finally meeting her spouse. Things can work out! Sometimes fate needs an opportunity to happen!!

omfg there's two of them.

At first I thought she was being sarcastic, but I fear she really is just as deceitful and crazy.

capinjen152

Sometimes I wish my relationship was built on lies and deceit and making huge life decisions that affects both of us without actually having a discussion and agreeing on the path we should take. Oh wait, no I don't. And pretty sure neither of your spouses/boyfriends do either.

NerdyLucy

What is this madness?

NerdyLucy

maplesyrup12345 said:

 I KNOW some married women "trick" their spouse into either a first baby or more so don't get on you high horse here with me!

I also know that people rob, cheat, murder, etc, but that doesn't mean it's a good thing. 

Seriously, don't be a shitty person.

Mysterious_wife

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