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Not sure what to do...

arbutusbridearbutusbride member
in Adoption
We were given a profile for a BM and it seems to be a good fit for us but I am not sure if we should show our profile to her.

Currently I am in grad school (halfway through) and the company I am interning with is considering me for a position that would start at the end of Sept or early October. The position may include occasional travel to their location in VA (we live in OR).  Nothing is set in stone but I think I have a really good shot at getting the job. The BM is due middle of September but is requesting that at least one AP (would be me) is home with the child while it is young. DH is interviewing for another job that would start about the same time I would start my new job so I am at a crossroads: Do we show our profile on the off chance that she picks us or pass on it because of all the uncertainty? 

DH wants to move forward with it but I am so confused because a lot of the work would fall on me. 
Pursing Domestic Infant Adoption through a local agency. In the meantime, our dog is our baby.  Bumping from Portland, Oregon. 
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Re: Not sure what to do...

  • CaptainSeriousCaptainSerious member
    I agree with fred.  There's no commitment in having your profile shown.  Do it, and while the expectant mother is reviewing the profiles, you can reflect on whether this is the situation for you as well.
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  • MagickalNarwhalMagickalNarwhal member
    Yeah, do it, but have your clinician maybe bring it up w hers if she picks you. I have heard a lot of stories of eparents envisioning one thing for the APs they would pick, but clicking with a family that doesn't nec meet all the criteria they spelled out initially.. Maybe they have a realization that the criteria isn't actually as important as they thought at first?
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  • elissaann26elissaann26 member
    I agree with PP's.  Do it!  You don't know if you'll get picked and you don't know if the job will pan out.  So you might as well try for both!  Then when you know if you are picked or you got the job, you can make the decision that is right for you.  GL!
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  • fledgegrl1fledgegrl1
     Totally agree with PPs. I'm a big fan of keeping options open.
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  • KirstybabyKirstybaby member
    I agree as well--keep living your life!
    I'm a dance studio owner, writer, cat mommy, and adventuress who is married to the man of her dreams. My husband and I have had a long-time dream to adopt and it's happening in a way that we didn't quite anticipate. But, like any move of God, it's turning out way better than we expected. We'd love for you to follow our story at www.kirstenkline.com!
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  • arbutusbridearbutusbride member
    We went for it and see what happens. It could go either way. We're just going to roll with it.

    Pursing Domestic Infant Adoption through a local agency. In the meantime, our dog is our baby.  Bumping from Portland, Oregon. 
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  • fledgegrl1fledgegrl1
    Good luck!
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  • nrcrossnrcross member
    Good luck.

    TTC Since June 2012 BFP #1 08/01/12, D&C 09/07/12 9 weeks, Blighted Ovum BFP #2 01/01/13 m/c 5 weeks BFP #3 03/02/13 D&C 4/15/13 m/c 11 weeks, 07/19/13 Hysteroscopy for Scar Tissue, 9/12813 Hysteroscopy & Laparoscopy for Scar Tissue, Cleared to TTC October 2013. 

    BFP # 4 11/01/2013 EDD 07/12/14

    Dear God, Since I couldn't hold my little one in my lap and tell him about you, could you hold him in your lap and tell him about me?

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