Praying for twins

laceydawn17

I'm 31 and my husband and I have just started trying to conceive. We want to have twins so very badly but are not using any fertility treatments. (essentially leaving it up to the universe) I believe with all my heart this is my future. We have mixed reactions from our family and friends... Can anyone relate in anyway?

TheDairyQueenx3

Good luck! its a 3% chance a woman will conceive spontaneous twins without the aid of fertility drugs. It does happen there are several moms here including myself who have 0 sets of twins in the family and we just happened to randomly conceived them whether the were di/di or mono/di, or mono.....but FSH does in crease after 30 i believe so you may (like 4% chance) have a chance at conceiveing fraternals. Best of luck hope you get your BFP right away twins or not its still a blessing

ks3pink

This isn't going to go well....

Mrs.Guz

Twins isn't something I ever wanted and being in the trenches makes me understand why. Ignorance is definitely bliss. Not saying I'm not excited about these two beautiful little people, I feel incredibly blessed. But it's definitely difficult being pregnant and I've had a complication-free pregnancy. Being pregnant with multiples puts you at much greater risk of every pregnancy complication out there. And that's before they even arrive. I'm terrified of how to handle two babies at once. It all seems so overwhelming.

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but that's the reality of it.

Good luck on TTC! I hope that regardless of how many babies, everyone is healthy!

BananaPancake

Girl, you go on and pray. Having twins is amazing! I would definitely pray for twins all over again. I was very lucky to have an unremarkable pregnancy and delivery and our boys are easy, adorable and so much fun. Double the blessings! Granted, it's a higher risk, but it's absolutely amazing. Pray away!

bumpuser924057

I had a set of spontaneous fraternal twins and was able to carry them to just past 37 weeks. It was freaking hard as hell. I had morning sickness that was borderline HG, carpal tunnel, serious edema everywhere including my thighs and belly, gestational diabetes, and a raging case of PUPPPS that scared my doctor enough that he bumped the c-section up a week. Despite being full term, one baby still spent over a week in the NICU. I love my babies and am blessed to have them, but I seriously would not wish it on my worst enemy.

Mrs. Alice

No, I cannot relate.  I think you sound very ignorant and naive. 

TheDairyQueenx3

MrsLee04 said:

Mrs. Alice said:

No, I cannot relate.  I think you sound very ignorant and naive. 

This.  I'll add foolish. 

Lol this and this exactly I wanted to say that but didn't. If only she knew the toll it takes on your body. I love these babies more than life itself but every move I make I constantly reminded the pain and aches times two. Not to mention the high risk to babies and mother. As someone said above " ignorance is bliss"

LegallyBlonde217

Me thinks you does not have all the smarts.  And also, I bet if you read my pregnancy, birth, and postpartum story you'd change your mind realllllllly fast.  8-|

I'm going to add that I adore my children more than anything in this world.  I would not change anything, but I went through a LOT to get them here and keep us all alive. 

MrsCaseyK

BananaPancake said:

Girl, you go on and pray. Having twins is amazing! I would definitely pray for twins all over again. I was very lucky to have an unremarkable pregnancy and delivery and our boys are easy, adorable and so much fun. Double the blessings! Granted, it's a higher risk, but it's absolutely amazing. Pray away!

I agree. It more risky, yes, but it's not a guaranteed hell. I was on bed rest for 14 and a half weeks and, yes, it was stressful to fear they'd fall out of me and not make it, but I didn't have any other issues. My body is fine, no stretch marks, no diabetes, no heartburn, no c-section, and the babies are perfect. I cried sad and fearful tears when I found out there was two, but after about 2 hours it was nothing but excitement and gratitude! They are a ton of work, but SOOO amazing. As a stranger said to me in Target the other day, "I'm so glad that's you and not me!" I said, "Thanks! Me, too. Me, too."

As with anything in life with greater reward and greater blessings, there is greater risk and more work, but to me it is MORE than worth it. Can't wait to continue our double blessed adventure! Best wishes to you!

Mrs.AshAsh

Good luck to you. I hope that you are able to conceive easily and that things go smoothly.

I have to agree with a lot of the other ladies here on the board though. Pray for twins if you wish but having one is tough in itself when youre becoming a new mom. Im already a mother of 2 wonderful children and each child was as healthy as can be but presented their own set of adjustments from PPD to resentment that my husband still had the ability to pick up and go, to jealousy and so much more. They were worth it all and more but some of the issues that I encountered with just one child at a time were enough and overwhelming to handle.

Now, Im 33+3 pregnant with twin boys.As far as twin pregnancies go, Ive been blessed with a pretty "standard" pregnancy. I have to admit though, it SUCKS, as "run of the mill" as it has been. My belly weighs me down and I feel exhausted walking up the steps. I wake up to pee every 2 hours (if Im lucky) so I dont pee my bed. Going for a walk with the kids, forget about it! Im too tired to do shat. Mentally, Im exhausted, physically, Im exhausted, emotionally, Im drained. Selfishly, I want these boys out like yesterday. Unselfishly, I know that I want them to grow for as long as they can/will, so I want them in.

I type all of this from my bed right now. Ive been here since 5pm today. Nope, not on bedrest but Im sick. Horrible sore throat, aching joints from my shoulders to my knees. Am I allowed to take anything...my OB strongly advises against it since any kind of "foreign body" can cause PTL, which sets off a whole different set of issues. So I lay here, falling sleep off and on and I havent eaten anything since 2pm. 8 hrs ago, and now Im nauseauted because my body says my tummy has to have something in it at all times.

Good luck and I hope you get your twins (which I conceived while being on birth control) but just know that if youre only blessed with one child at a time, youre blessed and thats all that matters!

Ps. If you havent heard of PUPPS, please google it. Multiply the pictures times 2 (since they never accurately portray what it is) and then find something that youre highly allergic to and expose yourself to it for 24 hours. Scratch/rub the reaction while youre exposed to it and you have a tiny glimpse of what its like to have PUPPS. This is my second go round with it and Im miserable!! But remember any cream to treat it must be uses sparingly since we dont want our meds to send us into PTL. Enjoy!

meechellebelle

While I don't totally understand the point of this post I will say that it's not all ridiculously difficult. I had spontaneous twins. My pregnancy was fairly easy. I had morning sickness pretty badly for a couple months but after that I had no issues. My boys were born at 38w4d and I was out enjoying myself the night before. Life with newborn twins was tiring, sure, and life with 6 month old twins isn't totally easy all the time but I wouldn't say it's hell. All pregnancies and babies are different though. Good luck to you.

LottaLattes

I see nothing wrong with wanting twins. It is a lot of work but I have yet to meet someone who actually doesn't like their multiples! Going beyond that to like seek fertility meds without a prescription to "try" for them goes too far, but if it floats your boat until then, what the heck. But yes, it can be hard and dangerous and risky and all that!

MrsCaseyK

I'm on mobile and not sure if that was a reply to me, but I never said anyone said it was "hell".

raraavis28

My take on this is that praying for twins is kind of like praying specifically for a boy or girl rather than just praying for a healthy child....I mean, you can pray for whatever you want but I just wonder why you're so set on twins? It would be sad to be disappointed at conceiving "just" one baby....

I'm not gonna get into the whole "wishing for twins" debate since it seems to be covered pretty well already....but, OP, I think you've seen that a lot of ladies on here take offense not so much at the idea of wanting twins, but more at the attitude that having two babies is all just fun and games and matching outfits. Cuz, it's not. I love being a twin mom and wouldn't trade it for the world, but like motherhood in general, it is a very demanding and consuming role, and not one that you would pray for because it's "about you" ....kwim? Perhaps a better prayer would be to be prepared to be the best mother you can to whatever children are in your future.

I wish you the best of luck and eventually a healthy pregnancy, twin or otherwise!

meechellebelle

MrsLee04 said:

Umm has anyone said having twins is hell?!

Giving perspective does not = having twins is hell.

I never said anyone here said it was hell. Like a PP said, it's not a "guaranteed hell" and that's what I was also reiterating. You may give your perspective just as I gave mine.
I don't think it's a bad thing to wish for twins. Some people wish for twins just like they wish for a boy or girl. Does this mean she wouldn't be happy with just one? No. I wanted a girl, does that mean I'm unhappy that I have two boys? No way. Sure people don't always understand the difficulties people face with twins and as previous posts showed, twins are high risk and just plain hard. I was just trying to say that it's not always a hard pregnancy etc.

Caarolann

She can pray for whatever she wants... I had a terrible pregnancy, delivered at 32 weeks, and yet I totally understand why someone would pray for twins. She's a grown adult and I'm sure she knows it's not likely but it's fun to pray and hope. Im also pretty sure she'd be delighted to find out she was pregnant with just one baby. All pregnancies, no matter how many babies are in there are a blessing! Since I was little I've always wanted twins and I was blessed . My girls are gorgeous fun wonderul babies. They've been sleep through the night and smile non stop! Everyone always assumes i must be in baby hell, and strangers are always like omg, how do you do it, you must be exhausted, but I just tell them how lucky I am to have perfect little babies that are soo good. Pray away sweetie!

SV917

I'm lucky to have had a fairly easy pregnancy so far, but even an easy twin pregnancy is stressful. Before getting pregnant, I naively thought it would be great to have twins. We didn't try to have twins, but we had no second thoughts about a 2 egg transfer during IVF. Knowing what I know now, I probably would have done a single egg transfer. It's expensive to have 2 babies at once. It's also overwhelming to think about caring for 2 infants. Even if the babies are perfect, feeding, changing, and caring for two is a lot of work.

But you can pray all you want. Prayer isn't like placing an order with God. Without fertility meds, your chances of twins are slim, so pray away.

LegallyBlonde217

MrsLee04 said:

2 of you said it wasn't hell, as if in response to those who have tried to tell the OP having twins isn't all cute and fun, that there are real risks involved, and financial and other things to consider.  Based on the OP's post, I'm not sure she does understand the risks or that she wouldn't be disappointed with just 1 baby.  The tone is very much "twins would be so cute and fun!" 

Medically speaking, fertility specialists do not consider twins a "success" because of the risks involved for mom and babies.  Their goal is always to try to help patients conceive 1 baby at a time.  And like PPs that have said, I wouldn't change having my children for anything, but having multiples is not easy...pregnancy and beyond...and people need to understand that.  It bothers me when people treat it like it's just the cutest thing in this world without any real challenges.

 I wish I could love this more than once. :x =D>

takJoy

I completely understand. And some of these responses break my heart. Babies are blessings from the Lord. No matter how difficult the task. And it's definitely not foolish to pray considering God controls the womb! This is my first pregnancy. I've wanted twins since I was a little girl, they run in my family. My husband and I have prayed since we got engaged to he pregnant super fast after marriage and that we would also have twins. We've been married for a little over 16 weeks and I'm 15w4d pregnant! I haven't had an ultrasound to see what's going on in my belly. So far I've only heard one heartbeat, but have consistently measured 3 weeks ahead and have only had dreams about multiples (one of sextuplets lol! And the rest boy/girl twins.) well see what's going on in there in a few weeks, but no matter how difficult, or the outcome, I'm so excited and so blessed as it is!!

Mrs.Guz

takJoy said:

I completely understand. And some of these responses break my heart. Babies are blessings from the Lord. No matter how difficult the task. And it's definitely not foolish to pray considering God controls the womb! This is my first pregnancy. I've wanted twins since I was a little girl, they run in my family. My husband and I have prayed since we got engaged to he pregnant super fast after marriage and that we would also have twins. We've been married for a little over 16 weeks and I'm 15w4d pregnant! I haven't had an ultrasound to see what's going on in my belly. So far I've only heard one heartbeat, but have consistently measured 3 weeks ahead and have only had dreams about multiples (one of sextuplets lol! And the rest boy/girl twins.) well see what's going on in there in a few weeks, but no matter how difficult, or the outcome, I'm so excited and so blessed as it is!!

You're not pregnant twins so you don't know. I don't think anyone said they didn't feel blessed to have their children, twins or singletons. I know I feel incredibly blessed! But people who say they want twins tend to be so flippant about it. "Two for the price of one!" "Get it done in one wack!" "Cute twin outfits!" When there's much more to it than that and so many risks involved. Yes, risks that are worth it, but risks nonetheless. It's hard physically, mentally, financially. More so than a single pregnancy. I've had a relatively easy pregnancy, but its been freaking hard! Especially compared to my single pregnancy!

carrotcake06

Since everything's been covered, I'll share a random story:

My mom went to a psychic in 2007 who told her that she'd have 5 grandchildren and that I'd have twin boys and my sister would have two girls. At the time, neither of us had any kids and twins don't run my family.

I honestly forgot about until we found out we were having spontaneous di/di twins. We already have a 3yo DS. When we found out boys, we were kinda floored.

My sister still doesn't have any kids, but at this point I'd bet money she'll have two girls.

takJoy

Mrs.Guz said:

takJoy said:

I completely understand. And some of these responses break my heart. Babies are blessings from the Lord. No matter how difficult the task. And it's definitely not foolish to pray considering God controls the womb! This is my first pregnancy. I've wanted twins since I was a little girl, they run in my family. My husband and I have prayed since we got engaged to he pregnant super fast after marriage and that we would also have twins. We've been married for a little over 16 weeks and I'm 15w4d pregnant! I haven't had an ultrasound to see what's going on in my belly. So far I've only heard one heartbeat, but have consistently measured 3 weeks ahead and have only had dreams about multiples (one of sextuplets lol! And the rest boy/girl twins.) well see what's going on in there in a few weeks, but no matter how difficult, or the outcome, I'm so excited and so blessed as it is!!

You're not pregnant twins so you don't know. I don't think anyone said they didn't feel blessed to have their children, twins or singletons. I know I feel incredibly blessed! But people who say they want twins tend to be so flippant about it. "Two for the price of one!" "Get it done in one wack!" "Cute twin outfits!" When there's much more to it than that and so many risks involved. Yes, risks that are worth it, but risks nonetheless. It's hard physically, mentally, financially. More so than a single pregnancy. I've had a relatively easy pregnancy, but its been freaking hard! Especially compared to my single pregnancy!

I in fact may be having twins. Or it may just be a singleton. I'll find out in a few weeks. But that's beside the fact. No I haven't been 35 weeks pregnant with two babies so I haven't felt it all myself, but I do understand the risks involved. I have family and friends that have had twins, I've researched. I realize the complications but if you view children like I do then those don't matter. You can can have complications with a singleton. Yes chances o up with twins but there's always huge risks in pregnancy. And I won't be "getting it done in one whack". Lord willing I will be having a big family.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.- Psalms 127:3-5

jessican08

takJoy said:

I completely understand. And some of these responses break my heart. Babies are blessings from the Lord. No matter how difficult the task. And it's definitely not foolish to pray considering God controls the womb! This is my first pregnancy. I've wanted twins since I was a little girl, they run in my family. My husband and I have prayed since we got engaged to he pregnant super fast after marriage and that we would also have twins. We've been married for a little over 16 weeks and I'm 15w4d pregnant! I haven't had an ultrasound to see what's going on in my belly. So far I've only heard one heartbeat, but have consistently measured 3 weeks ahead and have only had dreams about multiples (one of sextuplets lol! And the rest boy/girl twins.) well see what's going on in there in a few weeks, but no matter how difficult, or the outcome, I'm so excited and so blessed as it is!! :

Wow - that's all I've got.

Ok, I changed my mind. That's not all I've got.

I get that you're hoping and praying for twins but at 15w, if you're still hearing just one hearbeat, guess what - I'd bet my life savings there's one baby in there.

I'm glad God controlled your womb allowing you to conceive so quickly after marriage just like you hoped you would. Apparently my womb fell off his/her radar as I needed IVF to conceive, just like many of the other infertile women on this board.

No one said they regret their multiples - they're just giving the OP a dose of reality. The fact is, multiple fetuses = high risk. No, not everyone has complications in their multiples PG, but they are more at risk for complications - that's a fact. If some of seem a bit aggressive in our urgings to be careful what you wish for, it's only because we've seen too many lovely ladies on this board lose their precious babies due to these complications. 

SV917

It's high risk for the babies, too. I would never wish/pray/whatever for my child to be placed in danger. I didn't fully grasp the risk until I became pregnant. I probably would have if I lurked on this board and listened to these wise women telling their stories, which is why so many are saying be careful what you wish for. It doesn't mean we aren't grateful for our babies, we just want you to understand what a twin pregnancy means.

Mrs. Alice

takJoy said:

I completely understand. And some of these responses break my heart. Babies are blessings from the Lord. No matter how difficult the task. And it's definitely not foolish to pray considering God controls the womb! This is my first pregnancy. I've wanted twins since I was a little girl, they run in my family. My husband and I have prayed since we got engaged to he pregnant super fast after marriage and that we would also have twins. We've been married for a little over 16 weeks and I'm 15w4d pregnant! I haven't had an ultrasound to see what's going on in my belly. So far I've only heard one heartbeat, but have consistently measured 3 weeks ahead and have only had dreams about multiples (one of sextuplets lol! And the rest boy/girl twins.) well see what's going on in there in a few weeks, but no matter how difficult, or the outcome, I'm so excited and so blessed as it is!!

Take your judgmental comments elsewhere.  I don't think one mom on here doesn't feel blessed with their children.  Some of us had a much more difficult time than others to get their twins here and healthy and when someone has the attitude of "squeeee, I want twinsies because they are so cute!", it's not usually received well.  Know your audience.  If you've never been through and twin pregnancy or raised your own twins, you have no perspective. I've been around the multiples and preemie communities long enough to have seen a lot of difficult situations (myself included) and heartbreak.  Pray all you want for twins, but most importantly I would just pray for a healthy LOW RISK pregancy.

LottaLattes

Gosh, I don't mean to spew puppies and rainbows, and I had a number of scares in my twin pregnancy but I just don't see the point in being so destructive if someone wants twins. I think it is way worse when people get reactions like they would kill themselves if they had twins. And many people die after singleton pregnancies too, it is like saying having a singleton IS easy. It isn't, it is just all relative. And if I am lucky enough to have a fifth baby, I will hope like hell that I would have a single girl, but that doesn't mean I am going to have emotional trauma if it is a fifth boy or twins again (though I might actually have a heart attack on that one . And I will honestly just be grateful as hell if I don't have another miscarriage if I can get pregnant at all. I know tons of people on the TTCAL board would walk on hot coals to have just one kid, and I am lucky to have what I have, but it doesn't mean I can't hope to have a little girl! I think it is fair to mention that a twin pregnancy or raising twins isn't all fun and games but it seems a little much to tell people what they are and aren't allowed to wish for!

meechellebelle

LottaLattes said:

Gosh, I don't mean to spew puppies and rainbows, and I had a number of scares in my twin pregnancy but I just don't see the point in being so destructive if someone wants twins.

This. It's one thing if OP came here saying how cute it would be to have twins. Maybe she does know all the risks and wants them anyway. Let her wish for whatever she wants. Some have hard pregnancies and some have it easy so giving perspective is great. She should know both sides. But to call someone foolish or naive just for wishing for something isn't really necessary.

BananaPancake

LottaLattes said:

Gosh, I don't mean to spew puppies and rainbows, and I had a number of scares in my twin pregnancy but I just don't see the point in being so destructive if someone wants twins. I think it is way worse when people get reactions like they would kill themselves if they had twins. And many people die after singleton pregnancies too, it is like saying having a singleton IS easy. It isn't, it is just all relative. And if I am lucky enough to have a fifth baby, I will hope like hell that I would have a single girl, but that doesn't mean I am going to have emotional trauma if it is a fifth boy or twins again (though I might actually have a heart attack on that one . And I will honestly just be grateful as hell if I don't have another miscarriage if I can get pregnant at all. I know tons of people on the TTCAL board would walk on hot coals to have just one kid, and I am lucky to have what I have, but it doesn't mean I can't hope to have a little girl! I think it is fair to mention that a twin pregnancy or raising twins isn't all fun and games but it seems a little much to tell people what they are and aren't allowed to wish for!

this. it's just prayer, for crying out loud! Now, if she said, "we transferred twelve embies because we want four babies!" you could just on her. But seriously? It's prayer, she loves children, she wants a large family and she's welcome to do so. Sheesh. 

Mrs. Alice

Well we can agree to disagree.  What she prays for is between her and God, but she asked for opinions on it and I answered honestly.  It's not worth arguing over. 

ceechie

Oh my. I don't even know where to begin on this...
But it sounds like the one heart beat is indicating a singleton. And if you're really believing that there are 2 babies in there at 15 weeks, then you need to get way more prenatal care than you're currently receiving. By 15 weeks I had already had many ultrasounds (one a week for 1st trimester!). On top of taking the recommended folic acid and eating the correct amount of calories. Twin pregnancies are very different from singleton ones.

ceechie

takJoy said:

I completely understand. And some of these responses break my heart. Babies are blessings from the Lord. No matter how difficult the task. And it's definitely not foolish to pray considering God controls the womb! This is my first pregnancy. I've wanted twins since I was a little girl, they run in my family. My husband and I have prayed since we got engaged to he pregnant super fast after marriage and that we would also have twins. We've been married for a little over 16 weeks and I'm 15w4d pregnant! I haven't had an ultrasound to see what's going on in my belly. So far I've only heard one heartbeat, but have consistently measured 3 weeks ahead and have only had dreams about multiples (one of sextuplets lol! And the rest boy/girl twins.) well see what's going on in there in a few weeks, but no matter how difficult, or the outcome, I'm so excited and so blessed as it is!!

This was who I was responding to. Not op.
as for Op- obviously this is a sensitive issue. As a new twin mom, this has been a trial of love and strength. For all the women on here. Don't take it lightly or for granted. Multiple pregnancies are special and a miracle bc of the mothers that fight for them and work so hard for the health of the pregnancy and babies after. No matter how anyone conceives.

macchiatto

Not at all.

heaven22tw

I'm literally so mad I'm shaking and at 33 weeks bound to get kicked off the bump if I respond the way I want to..

AmyJoy728

Quick fun story. 

I was upstairs getting changed so we could go for a walk while the boys were playing downstairs. Next thing I hear something fall and break that sounded like a dish. I come running down and one of my boys had pulled the plate that I keep fruit on, off of our breakfast island. I pick him up and move him away from the broken plate and grab the big pieces of plate and run them to the trashcan and grab the dustpan and brush. I come back and he is sitting where the plate broken trying to eat a plum that had fallen on the ground when the plate fell. I pick him up and move him, and take the plum away. Sweep up the area and turn around and the other boy is now standing on top of the dining room table. I grab him and put him on the floor and say NO TABLE. Take the dust pan to the trash can which is locked in the bathroom and grab a wet paper towel to wipe the floor with in case I missed any little pieces. The first kid is on the dining room table now and the second kid is standing on the dining room chair about to climb on the table. 

Welcome to my days of twin toddlers.

BabyCarryingVessel

Lol @AmyJoy728! I might as well weigh in here. I personally feel flattered when women tell me they wish for twins. Yes, I cringe a little, but it also makes me feel like I have something great (which I do).

I also just wanted to tell takJoy that I didn't have my first us until 20 weeks, and up until then we thought we were having a singleton.We also heard only one heartbeat at all our dr. appts. Anything is possible, gl!

Sunglow28

This. As someone who both came perilously close to not making it AND to losing one baby, I would never take a twin pregnancy lightly. Until the head of MFM came out to tell my husband we were all alive (still drenched in my blood) he wasn't sure we would all come home.

I love my boys but if i could have had them separately, that's what I would have prayed to happen.

twobytwomom

I don't need to repeat what others have said, but I'll tell you that I have 2 sets of spontaneous twins. I have a 2nd cousin with identicals (mine are all fraternal). I love every second of having twins and wouldn't trade it for the world. ~Jenn

melcass

I don't think your ignorant or foolish, I know a lot of people who have said they would love to have twins. My twin pregnancy was smooth as could be. They are now 14 months old. They are a lot of work....no doubt about it. I'm exhausted at the end of the night! ( I also have a 4 year old and am pregnant with #4). Like everyone has said there are risks carrying multiples and its a lot of work. I love my girls but if I had another set for twins I very well would loose my sanity!