FAQ re-do Q1 — The Bump

FAQ re-do Q1

1. I'm thinking about adoption, and it's so overwhelming. Where do I start?

Re: FAQ re-do Q1

  • There are a lot of avenues to get started. There are books that provide general overviews of different types of adoption, like Adoption for Dummies, You Can Adopt, or The Idiots Guide to Adoption. They can often help you decide what type of adoption may be right for your family, and provide resources on where to go from there.

    A number of websites for agencies and other adoption-related communities have webinars and phone seminars about adoption. resolve.org has a number of adoption-related podcasts


    Agencies in your area may also have similar offerings.

    Once you've decided on a path forward, you can research local and national agencies, law firms, facilitators (if allowed in your state) or private adoption options available to you.

  • I usually suggest that people considering adoption should check out an introductory book on the subject, because there are so many different kinds of adoption, each with its own process.  I think books like Adoption for Dummies or The Complete Idiot's Guide To Adoption (which I used) are a great place to get started.  They provide lots of basic information on adoption, the different types, the processes, and how to research an agency.  Other good books are The Complete Adoption Book and You CAN Adopt.  Any of these will help you decide which type of adoption best “fits” your family.

    If you then decide that domestic adoption is right for your family, you’ll need to find a good agency or decide to pursue an independent adoption.  I highly recommend researching any agency you are considering to make sure it abides by ethical standards.  For domestic agencies, a great place to look them up is on the yahoo group called "AARD" (Adoption Agency Research – Domestic).  That group is dedicated to giving honest feedback on agencies.  You can ask about the agencies you are interested in directly, and also search their archives and files.

    If you choose international, you’ll then need to pick from which country. The US Department of State's website lists the requirements to adopt from each country (https://adoption.state.gov/).  I always recommend you find a country that you wish to adopt from first, and then chose an agency that has a strong program in that country.  There are some great agencies that have some really strong programs in countries they've been working in for some time...and some fledgling programs in countries that are new to them.  Even though these agencies are generally highly recommended, their newer programs may not work as well as those that are more renowned, because they haven't had the time and experience to figure out all the kinks, establish strong contacts, and become aware of all the pitfalls.  It's also a good idea to find an agency that has a strong program in more than one country you are interested in.  Adoption programs can be very volatile, as they are dependent on the laws of multiple countries/compacts, diplomatic relations, public perception, etc.  It's not unheard of for a country to drastically slow down their process or close entirely, and if your agency specializes in more than one country you are interested in, you should be able to transfer to another program with limited difficulty or cost (you should make sure of this when interviewing agencies).  The yahoo group "Adoption Agency Research" is a phenomenal resource for vetting agencies, and works the same way as “AARD.”

    Good luck!

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  • We read the books and went to orientation sessions, but what really helped us decide was meeting with adoptive families and talking adoption.  I'm a planner and and overpreparer and when I read about everything that could go wrong, I started to freak out.  When I hung out with a couple adoptive families (friends that we've now gotten closer to), it seemed like the most natural thing in the world.  They weren't Adoptive or Transracial families when we had dinner, they were just families.
    My feet and Miss Heidi the rescue mutt!


    15 treatment cycles: four early m/c
    Moving forward with domestic infant adoption!

    Home study approved 5/13, now just waiting...

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