Any interfaith couples out there?

robbie3982

What are you doing about baptism/naming ceremony/whatever your religion does?

I was raised Jewish and DH was raised Catholic.  Neither of us are practicing, but both of our families are.  We plan to expose the baby to many religions while letting them decide when they're old enough which is best for them.

I'm kind of stuck on what to do about these traditional ceremonies.  At first I wanted to just skip them all, but now I'm kind of feeling like maybe they're a bigger than l than I originally realized.  Obviously the baby won't really care, but it seems like these are the big baby welcoming parties when you first get to show off the little one.  DH's family all lives within a half an hour of us, so they'll see the baby whether we have anything or not, but my extended family lives 7+ hours away and I don't know that they'll come out to see the baby without a big event.

I don't think a naming ceremony has anything that DH's Catholic relatives would object to, but I can see how they might think it's unbalanced if we do one and not the other.  I know my parents would NOT be ok with the baby being baptised (they freaked out when we suggested getting married in a church).

Are there any type of combined ceremonies that you've heard of?

Mrs.Carlybella

DH is Jewish and I am protestant.  The only thing I can recommend in these situations is that you and your H make a decision between the 2 of you, and not your families. 

My MIL is very very unhappy about our children being christened, but DH and I reached that agreement and he is fine with it so that is what is going to happen.  You two need to make your own compromises and your families will deal with it- it is hard enough for 2 people to come to an agreement, and then to get relatives involved... sheesh.

 

good lucK! I know it is hard

Kyla Sisco

I am Christian and DH is Catholic. I know  this isn't much of a big clash but we decided not to do a baptism or communion or christening. Instead we are having a Dedication Ceremony--this is where he will be recognized as having parents that will try their hardest to make sure he is raised properly and raised in our faiths as much as possible. Our baby will be dedicated to God and the Godparents will be present and recognized at this time and then we are just having a little get together afterwards for the family to get together and have time with the baby and all the family.

TennisWife815

DH and I are both Jewish, but I my mom is Jewish and my dad isn't. Even though he converted (they're now divorced), I had a baby naming and my brother was circumcised in the hospital and named. We were both raised Jewish though.

That said, keep in mind that technically your child is Jewish b/c you're Jewish. I'm not sure how that works on the other side and if that would prevent you from doing anything there.

You two need to make a decision on your own. But something like a baby blessing ceremony in a neutral place like your home or a hall may be a good compromise.?https://www.susannamacomb.com/baby/index.html

https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21476014/?

Keep in mind you're not alone out there. Even those of us of the same faith go through similar things. Last night, DH and I were discussing which family's synagogue to have a baby naming or bris in. Needless to say the decision won't be easy.

Good luck!!!?

?

Jennywren82

I do not have this problem, but my parents did. They decided that since my mom was doing the raising of the kids, that we went with her faith. She was more religious anyway, but my dad's family always hated that we were raised Catholic.

You should take into consideration if one of you is more religious than the other because if you decided to raise the baby in your husband's faith and he does not give them an ounce of knowledge or experience in that community, you might feel slighted because you may have done a better job in your own religion.

Good luck on your decision!?

Knot Heather

We will be looking into what is known as a "Welcoming Ceremony" or a "Baby Blessing".

Check out this article on MSNBC for more info about it, and a couple of book references.

robbie3982

TennisWife815:

DH and I are both Jewish, but I my mom is Jewish and my dad isn't. Even though he converted (they're now divorced), I had a baby naming and my brother was circumcised in the hospital and named. We were both raised Jewish though.

That said, keep in mind that technically your child is Jewish b/c you're Jewish. I'm not sure how that works on the other side and if that would prevent you from doing anything there.

You two need to make a decision on your own. But something like a baby blessing ceremony in a neutral place like your home or a hall may be a good compromise. https://www.susannamacomb.com/baby/index.html

https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21476014/ 

Keep in mind you're not alone out there. Even those of us of the same faith go through similar things. Last night, DH and I were discussing which family's synagogue to have a baby naming or bris in. Needless to say the decision won't be easy.

Good luck!!! 

 

That's perfect!  Thanks!  We definitely already made it clear to both sets of parents that our children won't be raised in either faith.  I just started feeling like I wanted to do something, but I couldn't find anything.  I guess I just didn't know what to search for!

TennisWife815

No problem. I think I google interfaith baby ceremonies or baby naming ceremonies. Something like that.?

I'm starting to do research for ours now so I knew they existed.?

MarriedBestFriends

We technically are but H has basically converted to be a Jew with me and agreed long ago to have Jewish children- just wanted to wish you the best as I know these decisions are difficult!

webMistress0609

I'm Jewish, DH was raised Southern Baptist but is agnostic now. We'll be raising our child "loosely" Jewish - basically with more concentration on the cultural aspect than the spiritual. I'm not very religious but I find Jewish culture important to me. DH actually enjoys it a lot too. That being said, we have not decided if we'll have any formal naming ceremony or bris yet. DH is allowing a lot of the decisions in this regard to be made by me - he says he doesn't care as long as DC believes in evolution. I also plan on educating DC on many religions, as my parents did.

?I will give one word of advice - make the decision based on what makes you & DH happy. One side of the family will prob be pissed either way, & although it's hard to disappoint either side, it's really your decision. My family has intermarried so many times it doesn't really matter to them, but his family is not happy about his religious beliefs (or lack thereof) or that our child will be Jewish. But it's really not up to them, it's our family & our child, & we can't make everyone happy all the time. If a combined ceremony makes you & DH happy, do it, & that's prob a good compromise for both families too.?

?Oh, hope the Pitt weather isn't too cold. I'm from there originally & fly up for work & family often!

Mitzie

DH was raised Catholic, I was raised as a free spirit with knowledge of Lutheran christianity and Judaism. I was never initiated into any religion and when I was old enough to start thinking about it I chose not to join any.

Our baby won't have any religious welcoming ceremony. If anything, we may do a small "meet the baby" brunch.

When he's older and is curious about religion I think it's important to make as much info available as possible so that he can make an informed decision. 

 

marcandjen

We had a secular humanist wedding incorporating some Jewish traditions and some Catholic traditions. We're probably going to have the same kind of ceremony for the baby- something inclusive that focuses more on cultural traditions than religious dogma.

rissgifford

Hi. My husband is Methodist, and I am Catholic. Not exactly in the same boat, but we did have both priests present for our marriage ceremony. Perhaps you could arrange something similar for your child. I realize the whole church thing might be an issue, so perhaps somewhere in the middle? I would discuss it with her priest and your rabbi. Maybe an arrangement can be met. I agree with the others that have written. I think it is imperitive that you all make a decision between the two of you and discount what your families will say. You cannot please everyone. I have learned this the hard way, but it boils down to what is best for YOUR family, not for everyone else. They come second now. It is still hard for me to accept that sometimes, but it is true. Best of luck to you. I know it is not easy.

Sxia

DH is not religious at all, though his family is Catholic. (Grandma HEAVILY so.) My family is very religious and I still go to church once in a while. We decided that they weren't getting baptised. DH doesn't want to raise his kids Catholic, so we're not going to do so just to please his parents and sister. (They live in a different state, so we don't hear as much about it.) And honestly, DD knows more about being Jewish since our best friends are practicing Jews and we got to their house for Passover and Hanukkah and some other high holidays too. She was shocked when I told her that Christmas isn't JUST when Santa comes.

Do what you think is right. "This is what my husband and I have decided" has become something that we say often when a family member disagrees with what we're doing. It's hard enough to compromise between two people without taking 40 other opinions into consideration.