How to deal with unwanted touching

JoDoc

How do you deal with people coming up and putting their hands on your stomach?  I mean, they don't ask first, just reach out and touch.  I'm a private person and feel that, unless permission is given, feeling my stomach is something only my husband has a right to do.  (doctors excluded of course)  My deep down gut feeling is to snap and let my "inner-beotch" out and tell people to keep their hoover dam hands off of me!  I don't, because my mom taught me manners and therefore I find it hard to tell people just what I am thinking.  When my sister was pregnant (3 pregnancies, 4 kids) I never reached out to touch her stomach unless she told me to or I asked and got permission first.  My closest friend, same thing, never reached out to touch her.  That's an intimate thing (in my mind) that you just don't do without permission.

So, how do YOU let people know that are reaching out that it is NOT welcome? 

Toni828

I didn't care for that as well when I was pregnant.  At first, I would tell people, since I am pretty vocal and figured it's my body.  I don't go around touching their stomach so why do they feel like they can mine just because I was pregnant.  After a while, I just figured, it was a lost cause.  People seem to think that baby bumps are community property or something! LOL  I'm sorry I don't have any great advise for you, but at least you know you're not alone on this one.

JoDoc

@ MrsLee04  I'm afraid my "touching back" would involve a fist at an accelerated speed.  HAHAHA! 

I've thought about getting those "My name is" type of stickers and posting one on my belly that says "No you can't touch me"  I'd run out of stickers though.  :P

Mrs.AshAsh

I have a neighbor girl who reaches out and gropes my stomach every.single.time she sees me. Shes 8!!! Her mom just stands there and watches. She will scream at my stomach and have a "conversation" with my boys, rest her head on my belly by giving me a hug and then grope.
Im still fairly new in the neighborhood so I dont want to just toss this little girl (who is a brat)...but its honestly what I feel like doing. Ive tried, nicely, taking her hands off and placing them down yet she still will continue to reach up and just rub my belly. I look at her mom and she just lets her do it, watches her and smiles saying, "Shes just so excited for you!" Thats great but she doesnt need to rub her hands all over MY stomach.
Ironically, the mom says she teaches her girls (8 and 6) about people touching them is inappropriate and how they should always tell an adult if they are touched and dont like it.... HELLO?! So its okay for them to touch other people??? Oy Vey!

steidla

Mrsashash I would wonder if you live on my block except my neighbor is a little younger...and her Mom felt free to touch my belly too!

Mrs.AshAsh

Oh the mom has touched too...but she most times keeps her hands off. Her little brat on the other hand ...
My husband told me to tell her if she doesnt stop groping me that Im going to rip her hand off and beat her with it. Its funny that I think it sometimes but just continue to grab her hands and place them somewhere other than my belly.

TobieRose

I understand where you're coming from; while I admire snarky comebacks and people who put their hands back on other people's bellies, in the end I'm not a confrontational person and not likely to do those things--except in my imagination.

I'd say that body language can speak volumes. Brush their hand away, or step back, etc. I think/hope that many people will get the point that touching is inappropriate and making you uncomfortable. If they don't and if it's someone you know (as opposed to a random stranger at the supermarket you'll never meet again), then I think it's fine to say something like "Please don't touch me like that." 

Mamavogel

I look them in the eye and say "if you didn't put it there, don't touch it!" It generally produces some laughs but it works without marking everyone to uncomfortable. Then I change the subject. As I am closer to the end I have  gotten more short about it, it's pretty uncomfortable at this point, one is wedged up under my ribs and the other is head  down. When they get touched they really start to wiggle, making this mama miserable! 

SV917

I always said I would reach back and touch their bellies, but both times I've been touched I was taken off guard and had no time to respond. One time was an old lady, a neighbor, so maybe you get a pass if you are a great grandmother. The other time was my boss's campaign manager, which i thought was super inappropriate. Thankfully it hasn't happened since about 20 weeks.

CNYBride05

MrsLee04 said:

Reach out and touch them back.

This is exactly what I did.

LottaLattes

I think it is something women especially are brought up not to do, but it is okay to tell people not to touch you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. You are well within your rights to kindly say "please don't touch my baby belly, it makes me very uncomfortable" whether the person is 8 or 80. If they were groping your kid, you'd want them to do the same.

sushilover0214

I have grabbed boob a few times. It's still early for me but I might have to change my tactic a little bit. Ha ha

katiebenes

They sell shirts that say don't touch.

Moving away doesn't always work btw... I was in line at the supermarket one time facing the gum and a lady reached in that area. I stepped back because my mind processed it as "oh she's trying to get something you're in the way" 

I was then told "well you don't have to be rude" and I couldn't even explain why I stepped away... but she murmured to her friends how this generation is so rude and self centered and blah blah blah. She was actually probably close to 35... I'm 27.