Scared to Death - 3rd Child on the Way Unexpectedly

mooke

Well, I just found out I'm expecting my 3rd child and I'm completely in shock.  I have a 3.5 year old boy and and a 23 month old girl so I already have my hands full!  I hadn't decided yet whether to try for another but now that it's come as a shock, I really don't want another.   I'm worried about so many things.  I have 2 beautiful healthy babies.  I'm so afraid something may happen or be wrong with this baby. I feel like I'm really pushing my luck with another.  I'm high risk, I have MTHFR and have to do blood thinner shots daily along with baby aspirin.   I also had to have c-section the 2nd time so it will be another c-section delivery.   Besides being scared of something being wrong with the baby, I'm scared of something happening to me in the process!   Then after the baby comes, I don't know how I can handle 3 young kids while also working full time.   I'm exhausted every night the way it is now and late for work everyday.   How will I ever juggle another?   I never thought I would have so many bad feelings and it's affecting me daily.  I've cried everyday since I've found out.   And my husband is excited so it's hard to get much sympathy from him.   I'm so scared and worried about everything right now.  

st.augbride

I can't say I know how you feel because we aren't expecting a 3rd, but I would feel exactly the same way if it happened somehow (we never plan to try for a 3rd, but obviously these things do happen). Like you, we are already exhausted and always late for work. I also have MTHFR and my first was born with many issues from it (didn't know I had it then, so was on lovenox/aspirin for #2 who was fine). Also, at least for us, we couldn't afford daycare for 3.

That said, I know people do it all the time. I work with a woman who is also in a very high level position, and she has 4 kids and a nanny. Do you live near family? Is there any flexibility in either of your jobs? Can you afford daycare for 3? I would consider all these things and come up with a plan that will work. I guarantee there is some option waiting to be stumbled upon that will work. If you guys need help with that, maybe hire someone to help strategize, like a life coach or something. Also, I had a c/s with ds but was able to successfully do a vbac with dd, so that's a possibility if it's something you're interested in too.

Hang in there...

itsmevkb

I was pretty shocked when I found out that I was pregnant with our fourth and it took a few weeks for it to really sink in and for me to start feeling better about it.  Like you, I have some factors which make my pregnancies high risk.  I have done so many shots of Lovenox over the years that I've lost track.  The good news is that MTHFR is pretty managable and I've made it through four pregnancies using Lovenox and baby aspirin and haven't had a clot.

It'll take time for the news to just settle in with you but believe me, it gets better.  I tried not to think too much about how am I going to handle four kids, with two under two, because in the end you just figure it out.  I am tired a lot of the time but Maren is worth it, and to be honest, I was tired before I had her so in that regard things haven't changed all that much.

As for the worry about the baby and just pregnancy in general, I too worry a lot and that got much worse after my miscarriages.  At some point though I realized that I have very little to absolutely no control over things and that somehow allowed me to let go of at least some of my worry.  When I would start to really worry I would remind myself that I was doing everything I could to have a healthy baby and what would be would be and then I'd move on.  It's hard but sometimes you almost have to just force yourself to not obsess.

Give yourself a little more time.

ByGrace22

We planned for our third and I was still full of doubts for most of the pregnancy. Especially fears about something going wrong with either me or the baby and thinking I had made the wrong decision to go for a third. It took a while to get happy with the pregnancy. Give yourself some time, you've just gotten a major shock.

MissJenna2011

We have a 4yr old, 13 month old and I'm pregnant w. our 3rd too and it was a bit of a surprise. I cried for the first few weeks but now I'm planning and preparing and things are working out. I don't have medical issues but work full time and my husband has a career that keeps him away for sometimes 3-4 weeks at a time, i'm tired too, but I just keep telling myself I can do this. The way I look at it, I wouldn't trade my children for anything, so I'll welcome another!

Hang in there, and I hope everything works out for you!

MrsBee10

 Our third was totally unexpected too, It will all work out!

Honestly, I haven't found three to be that much different than two routine wise (like in the evenings after work.) They all eat together, bathe together, and go to bed at the same time. It's just another piece on the assembly line ) Ha!

litzo27

MrsBee10 said:

 Our third was totally unexpected too, It will all work out!

Honestly, I haven't found three to be that much different than two routine wise (like in the evenings after work.) They all eat together, bathe together, and go to bed at the same time. It's just another piece on the assembly line ) Ha!

Love this!