wheee!

mandeeperkins

move on, nothing to see here.

missyishere

I didn't read all of it, because I'm on mobile. However, YH sounds like a douche and you seem better off without him. If you're feeling anxious and depressed, please see your doctor. I am glad I did.

ThePolishHammer

Don't go back to him. He doesn't sound like he'll be ready to be a good father or husband any time soon. You should see a doctor about your feelings of depression. I'm sorry you're going through all of this.

mandeeperkins

Packerfan79 said:

Your husband joined a cheerleading team and youre sad he is out of your life?

Haha... good point.

meaglamillion

Yeah, your h is a tool.I would stay away.

RondackHiker

Since you're post partum, talk to your OB about the depression. Meds or therapy may help. This could be situational or it could turn into PPD.

Do you have a job? When does mat leave end? Where do you live now?

I'm so sorry. Be strong. You deserve better.

mandeeperkins

I am a gypsy right now moving from one family member to the next until I can find a job and get enough money to get my own place.

RondackHiker

mandeeperkins said:

I am a gypsy right now moving from one family member to the next until I can find a job and get enough money to get my own place.

You do what you have to do.

Is he providing any money? Again, I'm sorry. Stay strong!

mandeeperkins

RondackHiker said:

I am a gypsy right now moving from one family member to the next until I can find a job and get enough money to get my own place.

You do what you have to do. Is he providing any money? Again, I'm sorry. Stay strong!

He has no problem giving me money when i ask for it/have need of it.  Thanks, it is definitely a hard situation for me because I am such a loving person.

Kitiara5512

tl;dr

What I did get from it is that he IS cheating on you. Your reassurances of he is absolutely not because you just KNOW he isn't is you trying to convince yourself. Cheating or not, those pics were completely inappropriate. Ultimatum time: shape up and be a dad, no more contact with that coworker outside of work, period, or GTFO.

Its one thing to cheat, admit there is a problem, and be sorry about it.

Its completely another to treat you like you are some fucking idiotic twit who cant tell when he is blatantly lying through his teeth (which, yeah, you cant seem to see, but whatever, your IQ is your business and not his). That's plain old disrespectful, and aint nobody got time for that.

mandeeperkins

Kitiara5512 said:

tl;dr

What I did get from it is that he IS cheating on you. Your reassurances of he is absolutely not because you just KNOW he isn't is you trying to convince yourself. Cheating or not, those pics were completely inappropriate. Ultimatum time: shape up and be a dad, no more contact with that coworker outside of work, period, or GTFO.

Its one thing to cheat, admit there is a problem, and be sorry about it.

Its completely another to treat you like you are some fucking idiotic twit who cant tell when he is blatantly lying through his teeth (which, yeah, you cant seem to see, but whatever, your IQ is your business and not his). That's plain old disrespectful, and aint nobody got time for that.

No where did I say "I just know" he isn't cheating on me.  I just gave a promise that he isn't.  And I know because I am snoopy and it looked fishy to me, and I investigated the situation myself.  Physically, not cheating.  Emotionally... well that depends on your definition of emotional infidelity, but I think yes, emotionally he was being unfaithful although he does not think so.  So, thank you for insulting me.  That was really thoughtful of you.

mrebecca

I'm sorry you're in such a difficult situation right now.
To me it sounds like you're the only adult in this relationship right now.

Do what is best for your son. Is he better having a "complete" family (with a deadbeat dad whom he will most likely resent, IMO-- but a "complete" family anyway, right?), or is he better off having a single mother who without-a-doubt loves him and would do anything for him?

You're an excellent mother, and anybody who treats you like your husband is treating you does not deserve to have you in his life.

BluepointToasted

I agree with @RondackHiker about talking to doctor. Get yourself into some counseling to help you deal with this situation. My marriage went through an absolute shitstorm about a month before my baby was born, and counseling really helped me keep my shit together enough to care for my baby and actually enjoy it a bit.

EastCoastBride

Your DH is a douche.  And even if he hasn't actually put his dick in another woman, he will- eventually.  He's not interested in being a father, a DH to you.  He wants to do his own thing when he wants to do it.

He's a douche.  ANd I have a feeling that a LOT of the writing was on the wall a long time ago.  But you all still decided to have a kid. 

now you need to set a good example for your son.  Being w/ a man who really doesn't want you all is NOT a good example.

robinsokj

something smells in here

ByeBabyBunting

He sounds like a POS to me, you're doing the right thing! I hope things turn around for you.

ASmallWonder

mandeeperkins said:

Kitiara5512 said:

tl;dr

What I did get from it is that he IS cheating on you. Your reassurances of he is absolutely not because you just KNOW he isn't is you trying to convince yourself. Cheating or not, those pics were completely inappropriate. Ultimatum time: shape up and be a dad, no more contact with that coworker outside of work, period, or GTFO.

Its one thing to cheat, admit there is a problem, and be sorry about it.

Its completely another to treat you like you are some fucking idiotic twit who cant tell when he is blatantly lying through his teeth (which, yeah, you cant seem to see, but whatever, your IQ is your business and not his). That's plain old disrespectful, and aint nobody got time for that.

No where did I say "I just know" he isn't cheating on me.  I just gave a promise that he isn't.  And I know because I am snoopy and it looked fishy to me, and I investigated the situation myself.  Physically, not cheating.  Emotionally... well that depends on your definition of emotional infidelity, but I think yes, emotionally he was being unfaithful although he does not think so.  So, thank you for insulting me.  That was really thoughtful of you.

I'm sorry to say but there is no way you can't KNOW.  Texts or emails can't tell you if something physical happened.  Any maybe you're reassured nothing happened with THIS girl but it sounds like he's at least seeking out female attention and that will likely lead him to a cheating situation.  I'm really sorry you're dealing with this but you need to stay away.  Get a court order for child support and a custody agreement ASAP.

Princess_Lily

Although you may think he wasn't cheating on you, whether this is true or not, his actions speak a lot about his character and how he feels about his new family - he was emotionally invested in someone other than what he should have been, he was invested in himself (selfish).  He should have been invested in you and the new baby.

While I know the feeling of wanting to go back to someone who has put you in this situation (your heart doesn't want to believe that a person you love and that you promised to spend his life with you would do this to you), its wonderful and commendable that you are listening to your brain, and treating yourself with respect & dignity that you and your child deserved, you left him.

He may go through feelings of mourning, but that is normal - its normal for him and yourself.

Have you considered speaking with a family counselor?  You need someone to talk to, to get you through this hard time - and NOT his mother.  The only reason I say a counselor is because you need someone, and there isn't anyone you said in the area (family/friends) to talk with.  Meanwhile, you will be going through a series of emotional ups and downs from the break-up, and on top of that you're nursing...thats a lot for you, your body, and your baby.  If not handled properly it may bring you into PPD...be cautious.  

theseaword

Sounds like your DH is abusive and has checked out of the relationship. Move forward with your life without him in it. I also recommend talking with your OB about your depression.

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mandeeperkins

BluepointToasted said:

I agree with @RondackHiker about talking to doctor. Get yourself into some counseling to help you deal with this situation. My marriage went through an absolute shitstorm about a month before my baby was born, and counseling really helped me keep my shit together enough to care for my baby and actually enjoy it a bit.

How can I get counseling when I have little or no money for it?  It is a priority to me, but providing for baby and I's physical needs are more important than my psychosocial needs right now.  Anyone know of any options for free or low cost counseling?

RondackHiker

mandeeperkins said:

BluepointToasted said:

I agree with @RondackHiker about talking to doctor. Get yourself into some counseling to help you deal with this situation. My marriage went through an absolute shitstorm about a month before my baby was born, and counseling really helped me keep my shit together enough to care for my baby and actually enjoy it a bit.

How can I get counseling when I have little or no money for it?  It is a priority to me, but providing for baby and I's physical needs are more important than my psychosocial needs right now.  Anyone know of any options for free or low cost counseling?



Do you have health insurance? Talk to your OB if you do. They might have low cost ideas for help as well.

You also could call a suicide hotline. Half of calls aren't suicidal, just needing help. They'll have local low cost options for you.

Your mental health IS a priority. It helps you care for yourself and your child long and short term.

Unknown

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missyishere

@hilarityensued

missyishere

HilarityEnsued said:

@missyishere this is another case of bump blue balls....

What the eff was in the OP?

I mean... I guess I can somewhat infer from the responses that OP's SO is a douche.

Yeah, that is a strange edit. 

mandeeperkins

yes, that is why i edited it.  identifiable details.  thank you everyone for your advice and support.