Indulgence of a 4yo Boy (SPD, Strong-Willed)

Princess_Lily

Just a brief vent:
While I am working with DS at home (and with his therapist for Speech) to supplement his education, I plan on introducing some OT activities for him.  Come K, if the problems/behaviors still exist, then we will work on handling it then.  I'm just getting way to stressed between his authority difficulties and a new baby on the way (which by the way is 14 weeks away...)  I feel like I'm getting way too overwhelmed.

Now that I got that off my chest...

I just don't know what to do with him and my family, they are quite indulgent as grandparents - no rules in the home and if they enforce something there are empty threats and/or no follow through.  DS has come to learn that he could get away with anything from them - and unless I am present at their home he has them wrapped around his finger.  They keep trying to justify their behavior saying that, "That is what grandparents do!"  But its making it worse for DS to understand his role...he feels in their home that he is the boss, and they are his doormat.  

He has learned when he doesn't want to stop an activity he is enjoying, he will kick off with them, drop to the floor and they end up throwing him over their shoulder and breaking emotionally themselves.  Its so chaotic, and they just then tell me "he's too hard to deal with alone."  They don't then take DS for the day/overnight because they think he is too hard to deal with...  

My family (who by nature are critical and controlling sometimes) will tell me that we are too strict on DS. 

kcisthebombdotcom

I'm with auntie on Pursuing a deeper cause than just spd alone. I know spd can present very differently in kids--I have one seeker and one avoider--but neither act the way you're describing and my parents are also very indulgent. I also agree that telling them that he's just not capable of beign indulged and they need to be more strict with him and if they can't comply he can't stay there solo anymore.