Mini update

Littlejen22

Since JustJ had one I figured I would amuse people too. I know everyone told me to not get involved but I did and I sent SD a message letting her know to contact the court because she has a subpoena from civil court. SD texted me back today around a week later stating that she is sorry she did not get back to me and that she is in MO. I replied telling her I hope she was ok, told her to follow up with the court so she does not wind up with a warrant when she comes back to NJ and asked if she was visiting someone. Well apparently she met a new guy when she was at her last job and he was out here for Superstorm Sandy cleanup and now went back to MO and he flew her out there so she went. She really likes it out there. Of course he is awesome with a great job and everyone he knows is wonderful and she wants a new start. She feel so bad that she screwed up so much and is sorry she has disappointed us etc. of course it all sounds genuine but I know that it has been said many times before so while I hope things go well and am honestly glad she is away from here meaning away from her past I also hate that she moved with some guy she barely knows. I will say that while that is not completely shocking she really has only had three previous boyfriends going back to when she was 14 and they were all 2 plus years and she is now 23.

I did have a conversation and I really do think that she uses drugs more recreationally and is not an addict which is what I have always thought. I know I could be wrong but right now I am going to feel a little better since one area of guilt for me is not knowing if we failed to get or offer her addiction help when maybe she needed it. It is so hard to know what is going on with someone when you do not see them regularly.

I did tell her I worry about her and I do think she genuinely appreciates that I care. I won't offer any help with anything and honestly she does not ask for any but I do want her to know she has a family that cares about her even if we don't support her bad choices. I did lecture her AGAIN about needing to find her own friends and support system wherever she is because if she breaks up with this guy she has no one out there. And I told her that her Dad loves her and then she called him and he went off on her for avoiding her issues in NJ. He did not see my text that she was calling and for him to stay calm so he called her back and talked more calmer.

Nothing changes and we know that even if things get better they have never stayed that way so this is not positive or negative. Oh and she is trying to get a dental assistant job with the certificate she got a while back. I hope she find something because it would be great for her not to work as a waitress or bartender.

And I am still wondering how a Jersey girl winds up in MO but I guess we did live near Nashville for 18 months when she was a kid.

Ilumine

It was the right thing to do. 

Littlejen22

Ilumine said:

It was the right thing to do. 

Thanks. I did not want to let her off the hook for this last thing but am also not trying to screw her. I accepted this mail but I told DH that 100 percent of mail including junk mail going forward will be returned to sender and I will not talk to anyone else regarding her at if they call out house because I am done being involved. After talking to DH she supposedly called the old landlord to go over what is owed and the landlord said she will drop the case if SD signs a contract to pay it back and starts paying. While this sounds insane the landlord sounded very kind on the phone with me and I think she really would do this so it is possible.

ambrvan

You sound like such a caring mom, step or not. She is lucky to have you in her family, and I bet she knows it.