Flashback

PhillyGal34

Today ds got tubes in his ears. It was hard seeing him in the hospital but I was not prepared for post op. they had him hooked up to all the monitors and it just took me back to nicu. When I picked him up and had to avoid the wires and heard the beeping it was so sad. Then a monitor went off in another area and it was the Brady alarm. Not for a Brady but the same sound. I started to cry. I'm sure people thought I was crazy. He was done and safe in my arms but that sound brought back feelings only you all will understand. I'm so glad he was only in there for 15 minutes.

ludali

I honestly cant imagine being that close to the monitors and sounds again...you definitely have reasons for your emotions and wish I could just give you a hug. Smile Mom!

PhillyGal34

Thanks. I should've mentioned that he's doing great and everything was fine!!

I didn't think of the monitors at all so they hit me like a ton of bricks!

ludali

So glad it all went well!!

mamatotwins0812

I can't imagine. DH and I were just watching some videos of the boys in their isolettes and hearing the machines in the background was like nails on a chalk board. I can totally understand. I'm glad the surgery went well though!

DrRx

((((hugs)))) That must've been so hard!  I'm glad that he's doing great and that you weren't there for that long. 

jbranden12

I am glad everything went well! It's tough, though. I had a similar experience when we went in for Anna's shunt surgery. They had her hooked up to the same monitors as in the NICU. We had only been home for a couple of months but it's amazing how fast I adjusted to being at home and let go of the trauma. When I heard the monitors go off the night after her surgery, I expected to check the monitor and see a brady or a sat in the 60s. Instead it was ringing because her heart rate was high because she was looking up at me and kicking like crazy!

MinaE01

Yeah, I can see how that would be difficult, especially since you weren't prepared. But, your DS is now big and strong and light years away from his NICU stay! I hope the tubes help!

PhillyGal34

MinaE01 said:

Yeah, I can see how that would be difficult, especially since you weren't prepared. But, your DS is now big and strong and light years away from his NICU stay! I hope the tubes help!

I kept reminding myself of that. I just held him and rocked him and thought of how far he came but I still got really sad thinking about all the moms that have to hear them daily... and the fear that I'll have to hear them again when we have another LO. 

I definitely think it was just being unprepared.  I've done well with dealing and coping IMO but every now and then something reminds me of how hard it was.  Those alarms are something I don't ever hear so it was kind of raw for me.  Not like seeing pregnant women, which is something I see daily. 

He seems to be doing well. I called daycare and they said he is acting like nothing even happened and if they didn't know they wouldn't ever guess he went in for them yesterday. he's his usual happy self.  I'm trying not to get too excited or hopeful that they are the answer to everything but I really hope they are!

punky917

I am sorry about that experience, but glad his surgery went well!