when to pick up a 4 month crying baby

Jessdanrod

So my baby has different caretakers everyday of the week, so it is like new love everyday. (if you get my drift) I have talked to each grandparent about not picking her up on every wimper and they say they dont. I have tried entertaining with different toys. She just constantly wants to be held and walked around. By the time we get her and go home, I let her cry (changed, fed, comfortable, not hot, not cold, no temperature etc. is checked) because it is constant until finally her small crunts and cries become actual tears, then I get her. Immediately she gets quiet. I am unsure of what to do. How long do you let 4 months cry it out?

Jessdanrod

let me add. We cant even sit with her on our lap or she starts crying again, we have to walk around.

strawny0807

I could have written your post word.for.word.  I haven't found a solution other than to hold her all day...and walk.  I'm afraid she's never going to learn to roll over, sit up, or crawl because she is only happy when we are walking...around the house, the neighborhood, the store.  I just bought a baby carrier, hopefully I can get more things done around the house now (and take longer trips to Target, ha)!  Sorry I don't have any advice...good luck!!!

Jessdanrod

I dont have a problem holding her if she wants to be held, I wish I could. It is just that I cannot get anything done around the house and I'm pretty small and she is a big baby. I get exhausted and have to take a break and she starts crying again. I have tried 2 different kinds of carriers and she does not like them.

Jessdanrod

Lauren, I hope it works for you. I guess I can try a different carrier, I have tried the shoulder over sack things and a Bjorn face foward and face to your chest. She just doesnt like it. I haven't tried in awhile, I'll try again.

poppyc8

yea try the baby carrier again.  also, how are her daytime naps? my LO gets super needy and starts crying when he is overtired so he just gets this pleading look like please hold me and rock me to sleep!  so i cuddle him and rock him or i put him in the baby carrier and go on a walk.  that usually calms him.

VPGIRL06

she might be going through a mental leap right now too and needs the extra cuddles

Jessdanrod

Yes I thought maybe she wasnt getting enough naps as well. She sleeps a one hour nap and then 3 thirty minute naps during the day and then sleeps from 10-7pm at night. I have tried rocking her to sleep but she mainly just wants to be walked around and gets mad right when I sit in the rocking chair lol.

Jessdanrod

I have 3 different vibrating chairs lol. She looks at me like I am crazy and starts crying. I even sit next to the TV cause she loves to look at it, but I have to be standing. The swing works for about 5 minutes sometimes but then no she wants to be picked up. I have even carried the bouncer/vibrating chair with me in every room, including the kitchen. The bright side is I am getting pretty good at doing things with one hand. haha.

LisaLisa1980

Jessdanrod said:

I dont have a problem holding her if she wants to be held, I wish I could. It is just that I cannot get anything done around the house and I'm pretty small and she is a big baby. I get exhausted and have to take a break and she starts crying again. I have tried 2 different kinds of carriers and she does not like them.

Your child's needs come before house work. She is going thru a phase and needs you.

candlequeen

Forward facing is bad for her hips. Get a me I tai

Jessdanrod

thanks! You are the first that I have heard this from so I had to google it. haha. I had no idea. I may go with Beco or Ergo. Thanks for the advice!

CrazyMary77

I have a similar issue with my 4-month-old. The only thing that will soothe her is when I hold her standing up, sway her, and make shhh sounds. The moment I sit down, she cries again. And at 18 lbs, she's not easy to carry. I bought 2 different carriers and she didn't like either one, would cry immediately. I might have to try it again, though. It would be so wonderful if she liked it. But for now I just deal with it because she needs to be comforted and to feel secure, and I'm so happy I can give that to her! I hope you can find something that will enable you to give your LO what she needs while also saving your back!

NicoleSB80

My LO enjoys the carriers but gets hot super fast and that makes her angry. I started wrapping an ice pack on a towel and putting it between the two of us an it seems to do the trip for a good hour or more. Provides a little cooling relief but the towels keeps it from being too cold for either of our skin. Might be worth a shot. I toohave a 4 month old who isn't sleeping at night and wants to be held all.day.long. She'll nap for 10 minutes in her swing but 45-60min if she's on my chest.

jensriot

When you put baby down are you immediately walking away? One of my girls would freak if we put her down and just walked away. I would put her in the bouncy or exersaucer and stick around for a few minutes. That seemed to help.

DS loves watching me do things. I'll put his seat or exersaucer near the kitchen so he can watch while I cook, or i put him where he can watch his sisters. Maybe give it a try?

With 2 other kids to take care of, sometimes DS just has to cry. I do try to get to him as soon as possible, but I don't think 10 minutes while I get food on the table is scarring him for life. Hang in there!

Miliah

Baby wrap! I have a Maya wrap/sling from my first child and LOOOOOVE it!

[Deleted User]

She's 4 months old. You hold her when she needs to be held. If you need a break, daddy needs to step in. She's so small still and she needs you, period.

Everyusernameistaken

I agree that you probably shouldn't leave her to CIO just yet, I'd wait until at least 6 months as pp mentioned. The swing and the Ergo were a lifesaver for us.The Ergo is sooo comfy and it sounds like your LO will be happy to face you. I still comfortably wear my 24 pound toddler! You can try it in nicer baby stores to see if she likes it. I have the Ergo Performance and love it!

Everyusernameistaken

Oh and check out The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Karp as well. Good luck!!

suedell

You must be so tired. Anyone who tells you to just keep holding her is full of crap. They are lucky to have more mild babies. I would check out some sleep books like healthy sleep habits happy child because when my ds1 was like that we began to realize he was just tired. Good luck. I know how hard it is.

eroplane

I got a boba carrier and LO loves it. I wear him a large portion of the day and he naps there as well.

musicalmama5

The only time I don't immediately go to my crying baby and pick him up is if I'm in the middle of something that can't be stopped (like peeing lol). Not saying this to sound like a martyr- my baby is really easy and doesn't cry that much so it's easy. I just think that at this age, they are crying to communicate, not manipulate. And touch and affection is just as important as food or diaper changes for a small baby. 

I wouldn't intentionally NOT go to her if I were you. All you are teaching her is that she has to cry more to get your attention, which is the opposite of what you want. 

kgrobot

musicalmama5 said:

The only time I don't immediately go to my crying baby and pick him up is if I'm in the middle of something that can't be stopped (like peeing lol). Not saying this to sound like a martyr- my baby is really easy and doesn't cry that much so it's easy. I just think that at this age, they are crying to communicate, not manipulate. And touch and affection is just as important as food or diaper changes for a small baby. 

I wouldn't intentionally NOT go to her if I were you. All you are teaching her is that she has to cry more to get your attention, which is the opposite of what you want. 

This!

Don't worry, believe it or not, they DO grow out of this! My LO just turned 5 mo and is rolling over and trying to crawl, and just wants to squirm around and try his new moves out when I try to snuggle with him. I miss our cuddles!