Conflicting feelings

Robeano

So when we left for camping on Thursday I had been wondering if I was pregnant (had some symptoms) Part of me was freaking out cuz I was like "we can't afford another baby right now." and "I'm supposed to wait a year b/c I had a c-section, what if damage happened". So to ease my mind before vacationing with my whole family I took a pregnancy test. Well it was negative and I was relieved and disappointed all at the same time. I so badly had wanted to be pregnant, hubby and I were talking about the what ifs and we started getting excited about another baby. But if I were to have another baby soon we literally could not afford it and I don't know what we would do. So feeling conflicted cuz I would love nothing more to start trying to get pregnant right away, but I feel like we should wait cuz we aren't ready. *sigh* Does anybody else understand what I'm going through?

TJ1979

Big hugs! That is a sucky position to be in. I know exactly what you mean though about being conflicted. Emotionally wanting another so badly, but logically knowing its not the right time. The bonus of a surprise is you don't get a choice, you just make it work. IF makes it so much harder!

Mrs.AmyDylan

I'm really hoping for a surprise, but I'm with you on being a tiny bit relieved that it hasn't happened so quickly. 

J loves BFing, and I know your supply typically tanks when you become pregnant. I'm also super dreading weaning J for treatment, so I would be thrilled for an unmediated pregnancy and a natural wending when she hits a year or so. 

So then the other part of me starts worrying that now I've bad three PP cycles that maybe a surprise might not happen. So, yes, I'm anxious and over thinking it too

PennyLane26

I think what you're feeling is totally normal, IF related or not. I would love a "surprise" but I know that I need to be responsible - my body needs to recover for a few months from my PP pre-e and I also have 7 frosties who need a fighting chance! It's a tough situation to be in. (((hugs)))!!