Deep thoughts on transferring two completely unrelated embryos

liz4paws

I'm in a really unique situation that I doubt anyone else here has faced, or has even thought about. But I wanted to share because I figure you ladies can appreciate my deep thoughts on this topic, lol.

So we have a total of six donor embryos from two completely different donor couples. One embryo is from our first donor and is of Romanian heritage. I imagine any resulting baby would have olive skin and dark hair, just like his/her genetic brothers do.  The other five are from a totally new donor who lives in the USA and her children have light skin, super blonde hair, and blue eyes. Looks matter zero to us, we just want to be parents...but it is interesting that the two batches are so starkly different.

As part of this whole FET process, we have to decide how many to transfer on game day. DH and I done a lot of thinking about this and have decided on transferring two. But obviously the next question is....which two? Intentionally choose one from the first batch and one from the second? Only two from the new batch? Or let the embryologist decide on the best two?

Well, we decided to let the embryologist pick the best two of all six on day of transfer. And let me just say, that is going to be a big surprise. If it turns out that the best two embryos happen to be the one from the first batch and one from the second batch, a few intriguing scenarios pop into my head.

Scenario #1 - If both embryos implant, I would be pregnant with twins who are not genetically related to each other or genetically related to me. WOW! We would know from the ultrasounds that both had implanted and that both donor families had a baby "in the game" so to speak. We'd know that the whole pregnancy and all of us could be excited. After birth, we could do a DNA test to determine which baby came from which genes, but I imagine it may be pretty easy to know from looks. Who knows?

Or...

Scenario #2 - If only one embryo implants, I would have no idea which one implanted for the entire pregnancy! Kind of crazy to think about this one. I would not know until birth, and neither would the donors. I explained this to each donor, and they seemed okay with this scenario, but I keep wondering how this would play out. I may be weird, but I personally find it to be an exciting surprise. And it's such a unique surprise that I'd imagine hardly anyone else on this planet has faced it before. It's kind of nice to be facing a surprise on a path where so many surprises have been robbed.

The things that us TPR ladies think about! Sheesh!

 ETA: Oh and another question popped into my head. In scenario #1, would the babies even be considered "twins"??

2MamazInSeattle

Liz, I'd actually thought of this for you and wondered what route you'd take! My only thought - I know there are some added risks to having other genetics in your body - does having two sets of them add to that risk? Just wondering. Fun stuff to think about and be truly surprised!

Km672

Wow Liz, you have had a lot to think about. I have actually been wondering if you were going to try to transfer the last one of your first batch of embies.

I think you and your H have made the best decision. I'm sure this was difficult. I know you love all of your little snowflakes and want to give them all a chance.

Yes, if both were transferred together and grew in their mom together and born together, I would without a doubt consider them twins regardless of their genetics.

As always Liz, I wish you only the best and think of you often.
-K

liz4paws

2MamazInSeattle said:

Liz, I'd actually thought of this for you and wondered what route you'd take! My only thought - I know there are some added risks to having other genetics in your body - does having two sets of them add to that risk? Just wondering. Fun stuff to think about and be truly surprised!

Call me ignorant, but I didn't know there was added risk with foreign genetics in your body. No one ever told me this whole time. yikes...do you know what kind of risks? Where did you learn of this? Now you have me majorly curious!

DoublePortion

I still vividly remember twins I saw years ago who were probably 2 years old. One had brown hair and green eyes and her sister was blond with blue eye. (My mom asked if they were twins because their features were so similar but their coloring was so different.) Anyway they have stuck in my mind because they were such a unique set of twins.
IF has taken so much from you that the uniqueness of non-genetically related twins would be so special! Or even the anticipation of not knowing which embryo stuck would be an added bonus when so much of the natual anticipation around conception has been missed out on. Also, since the babies would be in utero together I would definitely call them twins.

DoublePortion

liz4paws said:

2MamazInSeattle said:

Liz, I'd actually thought of this for you and wondered what route you'd take! My only thought - I know there are some added risks to having other genetics in your body - does having two sets of them add to that risk? Just wondering. Fun stuff to think about and be truly surprised!

Call me ignorant, but I didn't know there was added risk with foreign genetics in your body. No one ever told me this whole time. yikes...do you know what kind of risks? Where did you learn of this? Now you have me majorly curious!

Then call me ignorant too! I had no clue. Might be worth talking to a genetic counsellor about?

liz4paws

DoublePortion said:

liz4paws said:

2MamazInSeattle said:

Liz, I'd actually thought of this for you and wondered what route you'd take! My only thought - I know there are some added risks to having other genetics in your body - does having two sets of them add to that risk? Just wondering. Fun stuff to think about and be truly surprised!

Call me ignorant, but I didn't know there was added risk with foreign genetics in your body. No one ever told me this whole time. yikes...do you know what kind of risks? Where did you learn of this? Now you have me majorly curious!

Then call me ignorant too! I had no clue. Might be worth talking to a genetic counsellor about?

Weird...I'll definitely ask about it. I'll probably ask my RE since she's the third-party RE at my clinic.

Although I doubt it will alter my decision. I'm curious more than anything now.

ArgyleBride

I agree that they would definitely by twins. They gestated together!  And there have been twins before with different fathers.

Foreign fetal DNA increases the risk of pre-e.  Apparently some component of pre-e is related to immune response.  A baby from a one-night stand has a similar risk, whereas apparently if it's a long-term partner you are less likely to get pre-e--apparently your body actually recognized the DNA from all the sperm it's seen before?  I dunno, it certainly isn't intuitive.

happywifemomofone

This is some deep thinking Liz!  I hope that your 2 best embries are the one from your first donor and one from the second donor.  I agree with DP that they would definitely be twins and the excitement and anticipation surrounding not knowing might be just what the doctor ordered. 

As always, wishing you the absolute best as you move forward with you FET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LittleLady77

I think this is rather beautiful. Obviously any choice you make is going to be well supported but what a special situation you have!

brooklynesque

Donor pregnancies have higher rates of pre-eclampsia, as ArgyleBride mentions.  Also more prematurity and lower birth weights.  There's a post I started about this on this board from a couple months ago -- you can find it if you search for "worse obstetrical outcomes."  It was news to me too when I found out.  

One thing I've noticed anecdotally is that donor egg/embie twins rarely make it to full term. I think I'm going eSET unless it looks like I won't have some frosties -- this even though I would love twins.

ETA: Though apparently the new Bump makes it impossible to read old posts in their entirety.  Or am I missing something??  Grrr.

DoublePortion

Brooklyn: I clicked on your avatar/name and it took me to your profile where I clicked on "discussions" under your avatar. Six discussions down I found the post in what appears to be its entirety. ETA: Ah, I see what you mean. The responses are truncated. Argh!

Lacyj67

Wow this really is deep. I've never thought of that. What a unique situation. For me personally I would probably use the newly donated embryos first... If they have better grades than the one you already have. I don't know if I would put one of each batch in. I'd have to think long and hard about that one. You have alot of decisions to make and I'm sure you will find a solution that works best for you and DH. Good luck!

2MamazInSeattle

Sorry! Day got away from me! Liz, the risks noted above were what I meant and I didn't know until I read about them were on this board (pregnancy complications). Just a curiosity if there's added risk with two sets of foreign DNA...though I think it's be hard to leave your lone embie from the first batch behind. The only other thought I've had is the idea of your kids being full genetic siblings. I think about these things for if, say, one needed a kidney, though I know both would have other siblings in the world. Anyhow, big stuff to ponder! Keep us posted!

MrsT4

2MamazInSeattle said:

Sorry! Day got away from me! Liz, the risks noted above were what I meant and I didn't know until I read about them were on this board (pregnancy complications). Just a curiosity if there's added risk with two sets of foreign DNA...though I think it's be hard to leave your lone embie from the first batch behind. The only other thought I've had is the idea of your kids being full genetic siblings. I think about these things for if, say, one needed a kidney, though I know both would have other siblings in the world. Anyhow, big stuff to ponder! Keep us posted!

Hi Liz,

I think 2Mamaz brings up some very good points about having full genetic siblings (if you have the choice) and I think for that reason I would be tempted to transfer two from your new batch.  That's not to say I would not consider transferring the one from your first batch at some point in the future.  

BTW, I know people IRL that have adopted more than one child who are clearly not genetically related...ahh, lots to think about for sure!!

Good luck with whatever you and your DH decide!

Lacyj67

Ahh twiblings I LOVE IT!

stinkerbell6879

Oh wow Liz... I think that you will find the right answer for you, it's crazy the things that happen and as far as them not looking a like, my nieces are biologically twins and look very different :-) so don't worry about that part!

liz4paws

Love twiblings!!! I'm so happy to hear that none of you think this is "weird". Of course, I knew you wouldn't. It's a new world that us TPR ladies live in. I actually posted this same thing on an EA board on another site, and I was surprised to learn of a lady who did an anonymous EA FET with two embryos from two separate donors, one took. She's currently pregnant and doesn't know which one! So I guess I'm not alone! Thank you for the support, the more I really contemplate the more I reaffirm this IS beautiful and IS amazing and I am proud to be a part of something like this.

poohniki

I just wanted to say I really love how positive you are about everything, Liz. I'd be freaking out and worrying and probably doing statistics or something crazy. Wishing you lots and lots of luck and peace with this decision. 

liz4paws

I'm like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like crazy underneath.

Mama-Bear

I've heard that there are added risks to embies not genetically related, as a surro I had absolutely no complications.  My BP has always been perfect, no GD, actually carried to 41w and delivered a 9lb 10oz baby.  Good luck, I'm interested to see who will be sticking around 9m after your transfer.