Daycare question plus rambling

ladybugpjb

First, the easy part:

If you have LO(s) in daycare, is your daycare closer to your home or your office?

I have a job interview on Tuesday, and the job is across town - 30 minutes without traffic, but 45 minutes or more with traffic. I've been trying to figure out daycare, but I don't really know if I should focus my search close to home or close to the office. I don't want to be stuck in traffic with screaming kids, but I don't want to risk kids being stuck forever at daycare if I'm stuck in traffic. The job would be done at 4pm, so I don't THINK I'd ever risk being late to pick them up since most daycares want you to pick them up by 6pm (right?).

(edit: Apparently there are only two of us being interviewed for the position, so there is a 50/50 chance it will be offered to me.)

And here are the random ramblings:

I don't really want to (or need to) go back to work. I've been trying to get an adjunct teaching position, but that hasn't worked out thanks to my lack of college teaching experience. I still have some applications out for those types of positions, though, and a couple of other options I haven't explored yet. The potential job would be good as far as full-time goes. It's technically only 32 hours, but it's 8-4, so more or less a full work day. It's 32 hours mid-August through mid-May, then 20 hours mid-May through mid-June, then off mid-June through mid-August. (It's at a university, so it goes with the school year.)

I get a lot of anxiety when I think about returning to work. DH goes out of town periodically for over a week at a time, so I would be on my own those weeks with both kids. I get stressed out just thinking about it. And I know that millions of kids go to daycare everyday, but it makes me sad. I'd be making money, so we could afford to do fun stuff with the kids...but then I wouldn't have TIME to do fun stuff with the kids.

The two main reasons I want to work -- I'd like to pay off the rest of my undergrad loan, and I'd like to close the employment gap on my resume so I can have updated references and more recent work experience.

I really respect women who are able to balance work and family life, but I just can't imagine myself doing it right now. Maybe that's because I haven't done it and I'd be okay once I started working? I never planned to be a SAHM, but now I can't imagine anything else.

Part of me hopes that the job won't pay enough to cover the cost of daycare because then I just couldn't afford to work there. (Salary was not disclosed in the job announcement, so I have no idea what it will be.) DH isn't pressuring me either way, so it's pretty much my decision to make.

So any "working full time is awesome" pep talks? Any insight from other people who have struggled with this decision would be welcome.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha

I want to answer all your questions but I'm on mobile, so I'm going to keep it to :big hugs: for now and come back later when I'm at a real computer.

MrsCase1

I think if you don't *need* to work then you should take your time and only work a job that challenges and rewards you. I wouldn't risk the time and stress on a job I didn't love if that were my position. 

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha

All right, I finally have some time to reply to this...

If you have LO(s) in daycare, is your daycare closer to your home or your office?

Home (but to be fair, I work very close to home anyways, so really it's close to both)

Reasons for choosing a DCP close to home: 

• You are more likely to switch jobs than move, therefore closer to work now might not mean closer to work later. In fact, having a DCP closer to your work place might mean needing to find a new DCP if you switch jobs.
  
• Drop-off / pick up can more easily be done by either parent when your DCP is closer to home. Unless both parents work in the same area.
  
• Being stuck in traffic sucks. It sucks even more with kids in the back seat.
  

Reasons for choosing a DCP closer to work:

• You can get to your child that much faster if something happens (like they are running a fever and DC needs you to pick them up).
  
• Your kid will spend less time in the care of your DCP. That's a big thing for us because the law prohibits anyone to leave their child in DC for longer than 10 hours a day. Typical work day is 8 paid hours, plus 1 unpaid lunch hour, leaving parents with a total of 30 minutes (twice a day, so 1 hour total) for their commute to and from daycare, which does not leave much room for delays such as traffic or a last-minute request from your boss.
  
• You get to spend a little more time with your kids (this one is more for when your kids are old enough that you can have conversation with them while you're in the car)

Of course, those are MY reasons - like I don't know how much it would matter to you whether or not your SO can do drop off and pick up because of his schedule, but I thought I'D throw it out there anyways.

It's 8-4, so more or less a full work day. It's 32 hours mid-August through mid-May, then 20 hours mid-May through mid-June, then off mid-June through mid-August

I would love to have a schedule like that! Especially once the kids are in school (but then again, will you still be living where you live by the time DS starts school?)

I never planned to be a SAHM, but now I can't imagine anything else (...) any "working full time is awesome" pep talks? Any insight from other people who have struggled with this decision would be welcome.

Going from WM to SAHM, or from SAHM to WM, is a major change to go through and definitely needs some adjustment on your part. I don't think there is a perfect situation either - or I just haven't found it yet. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, you know? But I can tell you this much: As much as I am not looking forward to going back to work, I have done it twice already and it all worked out. 

Oh and one awesome thing about being a working mom is that you can actually take a day off

Good luck and let us know what you decide