Hurt & Ready to Stop Fighting

eg214

This is an emotional rant. I have been crying now for hours and am just so hurt. I'm tired of struggling. Right now, I'm facing not having a place to live once baby comes. That thought is frightening. I've reached out for help from people who have continued to re-schedule and cancel and re-schedule and let me down. My father's wife controls his every move, it's been that way for years. He was going to take my dog so it would be 85% easier for me to find a place to live and his b***h wife texts me a photo today of their newest addition, a puppy. She has not said one word to me about being pg. Not one. But she can text me a picture of their new dog. UNBELIEVABLE. The fact my dad doesn't see how twisted, sick, and manipulative she is is unreal. She's never been able to have kids of her own and is way beyond her child bearing years so this is her way of trying to be snide and one up me. I can't move back home and live with my mom or my dad, even for a short break. Dad's wife won't allow it, mom doesn't have the room. Mom has no way to help financially or move here to help temporarily, dad's wife won't let him. Despite my numerous talks with him over the years and recently...he doesn't get it, won't see it, and thinks she means no ill. It's a losing battle.

I'm tired of having no support from ANYONE. I don't have many friends here because I've moved around so much and the ones that do, I can't really rely on for much support. They are either happily married and pregnant or single and don't understand. I'm tired of getting the "everything will work out. people have babies all the time." Yeah and those people normally are financially set, have help from family and friends, have the father around, or qualify for government assistance.

I've emailed about renting peoples basements to no avail. Apparently nobody wants to rent a basement to a pregnant lady who will have a newborn next year. I'm running out of time. I'm running out of options and I just want to quit. Doing this alone SUCKS and people wonder (like my family) why it's so easy to run back into the arms of the a**hole BD who makes life miserable.

This whole thing has been nothing but a struggle. No health insurance. No benefits from work. No one around to support and help. No qualifications for anything except childcare assistance when baby comes (which will be great). I can't keep living on a wing and a prayer every day that goes by hoping something will change. Something will come up. Something will be different.

I'm so tired.

rachaelT28

I am there with you. I get tired of doing it all alone too. I was happily married for 12 years till my husband got a girlfriend now he is a jerk all the time. It never stops. I have very few friends because for years I was a stay at home mom to four kids no one wanted my circus at their house. I wish I had some great words of wisdom, but I am feeling the same things you are. I am tired of everyone saying it will all workout and not to worry. I do worry I worry everyday that my husband will stop his child support payments or who knows what else to try to make me pay for doing nothing to him. All I can offer is prayers, I hope your situation gets better.

KMB611

First and foremost, you're father needs to wake up and smell the roses. Blood is thicker than water and there is no way he should be putting his wife before his daughter. I don't care if you're an adult, you're still his daughter and she needs to respect that. Unfortunately, the only way his wife will get it is if her steps up to her and defends you. I will continue to pray that your situation gets better.

MinnesotaMomma91

Take a deep breathe. I know its hard. I had to move in with my sister her husband and their two kids half way across the country for ds saftey. My xh is a nut job and very abusive and was very mad when i got pregnant after seperating from him.

The best advice i can give is apply for help all of it. Then start looking for a job. It gets better i promise. Dont go back to a bad ex just because you feel like you have no other options.

Thoughts and payers that everything starts to look up for you.

pregokat

This is coming from a good  place and not meant to be mean or rude

Girl, I've read a few of your posts on this board, and I understand, I've been alone and pregnant, I've been emotional and hormonal and all that not so fun stuff.. 

You really need to just stop thinking about all the drama, about everyone elses actions and just focus on yourself and that baby you are growing inside you. If people are stressing you out get away from them, and stop interacting with them. Its not healthy for you or the baby. 

Suck it up and stop trying to depend on others for help. When there is a will there is a way and you can do this, I've done it, Lots of people have. You gotta take the emotion out of everything and just get your shit taken care of . Good luck! 

eg214

Thanks everyone.

To the first responder, I agree and know nothing will change until my dad grows a set of balls and stands up for our relationship. Because he hasn't in the past, this is why she is allowed to do whatever the heck she wants. Love is blind and he just doesn't see how she's doing anything malicious or intentional...EVER...even when its blatantly obvious to the rest of my family.

I am doing everything I can to get my shit in order. I can't do much more. I can't even really take on a 2nd job because the job I have, I have to work some nights and weekend as it is. I am looking for another job to replace the one I have, but who is going to hire someone when they are 5/6 months pregnant, knowing they will be leaving in a few months...for a few months. I get that they technically can't discriminate, but there is nothing to tell me they did. I vent on this board because I have nobody else to really sound off to. It may sound like complaining, but I am pulling up my boot straps and getting stuff done. I have to because nobody else is going to do it for me, nor do I expect them to. I'm just exhausted of everyone saying "well people have babies all the time." Yeah, but rarely are they without family, without the BF, AND without the ability for financial assistance/strength/support/etc.