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Late Term and Child Loss
Mrs Nice
member
Loss Check In
Mrs Nice
member
Welcome to our checkin!
I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
QOTW: How does you grief differ from your SO? Has your relationship changed since your loss? If yes, for better or worse?
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
QOTW: How does you grief differ from your SO? Has your relationship changed since your loss? If yes, for better or worse?
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Loss Check In
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Continue to get healthy. I've lost 9lbs in 5 weeks! So happy. I want to be healthy.
QOTW: How does you grief differ from your SO? Has your relationship changed since your loss? If yes, for better or worse? He seemed to get "back to normal" before I did. I was angry at first, but then realized he's just dealing with the pain differently. We're pretty much on the same page now. It has most definitely strengthened our relationship. It was really, really hard though to see him in pain.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?Today makes 5 months since Ana's birth. I cannot believe it. It feels like a blink...a blur, a horrible horrible nightmare. 5 months used to feel like forever, but not anymore. I miss my angel
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
Ticker warning
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I made it through our EDD and we had a beautiful balloon release to celebrate our angel.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I don't really have a goal besides getting through each day. I'm doing a lot better, but I still cry or at least get choked up almost every day.
QOTW: How does you grief differ from your SO? Has your relationship changed since your loss? If yes, for better or worse? I cry...a lot. He doesn't. He gets angry on days that are hard (Father's Day). When I have a hard day and I complain about someone doing something insensitive, he thinks I want a solution when really I just want to vent and him tell me I understand. But I do think our relationship has gotten stronger. I text him one day when I was having a really bad day and he was very concerned, and he said he is right there beside me. Our frieds and family try to help and they sympathize with our grief, but it's comforting to know I have my husband who understands exactly what I am going through because he went through it with me.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? When Kayla was first born, MH and I were both thankful we didn't hear any sounds and cries when she came out. Since she was too little to have any hope, we were worried she would be born alive and then have to suffer until she passed. But lately I've been hearing a lot of stories from women whose babies did live for a little while. I know it's probably selfish of me to wish this, but lately I've been really wishing I could have seen my baby girl alive, even just for a few minutes. To feel her hand graps my finger, or to let out a little coo. Maybe it's for the best how things played out, and perhaps if things had gone the other way I would have wished for the peace we had instead.
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Just to keep trucking along. This week has been better than last week.
QOTW: How does you grief differ from your SO? Has your relationship changed since your loss? If yes, for better or worse? He doesn't ever seem to get sad and it's like since he walked out of the room leaving her there he was fine. It hasn't really changed. I would say it is better because no matter what he has been there for me.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? My cousin lost her baby this weekend. She was around 20 weeks along not sure exactly how far. Just been thinking about her alot and my heart is hurting for her. We are 4 months apart and it is sad to think about how our girls would have been 8 months apart.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I don't think so. Continue to see the therapist and will start going to a parent support group in a couple weeks. I imagine that's going to be difficult seeing that DH will be traveling for work, but I want to start going, so I'm willing to go on my own.
QOTW: How does you grief differ from your SO? Has your relationship changed since your loss? If yes, for better or worse? DH shows emotions, however, he admits that we both had a very different experience and that Rachel feels the most "real" to him because she was alive for a few hours and he got to be with her and hold her hand. He got to be her dad (as he put it) It's been a challenge sometimes when either one of us bottles up our emotions and stops communicating, but overall it has strengthened our relationship. I tell him over and over again I wouldn't be able to survive this without him.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I've been thinking a lot about going back to school/work. I was off almost all of May due to bedrest and then I've had the summer off, so I haven't see co-workers and students in awhile and I'm nervious/anxious about going back. But also trying to enjoy my last two weeks of summer vacation.
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
I started a new job this week and I thought it would help me to get away from the reminders at my old job. It has helped in that way, but in another way it hurts because I don't have the support team I had before. I don't know what's inappropriate or too forward with people I've just met. I feel badly and uncomfortable dumping my life story on strangers.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Finally, my goal is to become pregnant again. Back in April when we lost Ava, I thought this time would never come. My doctor advised waiting 4 months, and I am still in disbelief that it's been that long since I held my sweet girl. But I think I am finally ready to focus on bringing home the baby that I desperately long for.
QOTW: How does you grief differ from your SO? Has your relationship changed since your loss? If yes, for better or worse?
I still cry often, while he doesn't cry anymore. He will be silent sometimes or inexplicably cranky, and he'll tell me later that it's because he misses her. I can always tell why I'm sad or angry or upset, but he can't always explain his behavior.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
As always, on my mind is my coworker who had her baby last month. I had to block her on FB because the updates and pictures hurt too much. I am so sad because she is such a dear friend, but I cannot handle the unfairness in the differences in our lives.
Ava's Story
BFP#2 10/18/13 Blighted ovum 11/25/13
BFP #3 1/31/14 EDD 10/18/14 -- It's a GIRL!
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I have not been great with setting goals for myself and even worse at achieving them when I do. I feel like right now I just need to keep it simple. My goals are waking up and going to work. I am also trying to be more social, though I have cut myself off from FB because it was just getting to be too much.
QOTW: How does you grief differ from your SO? Has your relationship changed since your loss? If yes, for better or worse? I definitely feel like I am more stuck in my grief. I don't mean this to say DH doesn't grieve Izzie, because he does, he just does it differently. He has definitely been the strength these last 3 months. I don't feel a huge difference in our relationship, DH has always been strong. But he has definitely taken a lead in that department lately. I do feel stronger in our relationship, just because we both feel so connected to each other through this loss. Just feeling like so few people can actually understand where we are coming from.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? As always, my Izzie
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
We had Hope cremated on Wednesday and today we had her memorial service. We will bury her on August 17th in DH's hometown
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
No concrete goals, only has been a little over a week since Hope went to heaven. Will eventually have to think about ttc again. We have 4 frozen embies. I am so scared of IC again if I get pregnant. Researching TAC and gestational surrogacy.
QOTW: How does you grief differ from your SO? Has your relationship changed since your loss? If yes, for better or worse?
I still cry all the time. I think DH is done crying, even though he did cry at the memorial service today. I also see DH going through his pictures of Hope on his iphone and I do the same. Our relationship has gotten better, I love him so much and so thankful to have him despite losing Hope.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I am so scared of what the future holds. Am I destined to be child-free, what if IC happens again. Time is also going by so slow, it feels like its been an eternity since Hope passed, but its only been 9 days.
TTC#1 since June 2011. 3 early losses before 6 weeks. Hope Olivia born and went to heaven July 26, 2013.
Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
Since I was doing well before and suddenly got upset again, there haven't been many steps besides feeling it through and talking with DH.
What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Keep up with work and try not to get snippy.
QOTW: How does you grief differ from your SO? Has your relationship changed since your loss? If yes, for better or worse?
When I returned to being upset, so did he. Both of us are not only missing the child itself, but the roles we would have played in the child's life. At the moment I either get snippy or prefer to be alone. He's been very sweet and respectful about that.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Oh dear gosh I'm going to start bleeding again any day now. Then begin flashbacks to that horriblehorrible drive to the dr office last time I bled- while loosing the child.