FFFC

alrighthamilton

hardewbr said:

I ate a 3lb bag of gummy ears over the last 24 hrs.

Did you know those take 7 years to digest? No, wait, that's gum.

WhtRssnGrl

hardewbr said:

I ate a 3lb bag of gummy ears over the last 24 hrs.

You're my hero.

WhtRssnGrl

Also, I should clarify that I love my husband dearly.  He truly is my best friend and I can't imagine life without him.  We're just going through some pretty major life things right now and sometimes I wonder, "What if..."

NeneCakies

I was having regular day dreams about my HS crush meeting me now and realizing I was the one that got away. It was horribly distracting! So I read Emily Giffin's Love The One You're With and it helped me to "live" it and get it out of my system. She may not be everyone's favorite author as her protagonists tend to "justify" infidelity but it was a GP read for my lusty mind. I openly read romance but this one I hid from DH given the subject matter. But I do recommend it for anyone seeking harmless virtual closure.

nduquette23

bigbootyjudi said:

gollywollypog said:

@bigbootyjudi, I'm sorry.     That's really hard to admit.  You have a tangible reminder. 

For me, I don't have anyone else in mind.  It's not that there's anyone else, any ex, that I feel would have been a "right" choice. 

Things just aren't right.  But it's the bed I made for myself, you know?  I could write a novel, but I won't.   I'm just pretty despairing of my marriage right now.

I mean, I guess I just never really moved on. I thought we would get back together after we broke up, but he met his wife, and I never got that closure. I moved on and of course, love SO, but our relationship is different, obviously because he wasn't my best friend my entire life.

If you need to write a novel, go for it. Sometimes you just need to let it all out. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. (hugs!)

I don't feel there is such a thing as closure. I've tried so many times to get closure with my ex. We were on and off for 5 years, and when I started dating DH he wanted me to end it with my ex since there's so much history and the ex kept trying to work things out. I cried after I told my ex I was in love with someone else. 

I guess I have a similar FFFC as @gollywollypog but I constantly think about my ex and wonder what it would have been like to marry him. I talk to him via FB messaging about every month, just to have someone to talk to about random stuff, and I haven't told DH. As far as DH knows, I have cut all ties to my ex. But, he was my best friend, we went through some rough stuff and he was there for me, and while I don't think I had the same kind of love for him that I have for DH, he was exciting, rebellious, and fun; DH is the type of guy you marry. I miss excitement. 

nduquette23

Crossingfingers said:

When I found out I was pregnant with one of the kids I scheduled an abortion. Obviously I cancelled the appointment because I couldn't do it, but it still eats at me.

 

May I ask why you were thinking abortion? 

Tula214

I knew it was a mistake marrying my XH, but everyone was so supportive so I figured it'd work out somehow. He was okay with living an unhappy life, but I was not. People acted like our break up was a huge surprise, but it was a long time coming.

My confession: Sometimes when I'm out with a group of people without SO or J, I don't tell people that I have a baby right away. When I first started working at my job people never invited me to anything because I'm a mom. They assumed I couldn't go out. nobody ever even asked. Going out after work once a week is NBD to me. My kid is asleep at that timr anyway.

Crossingfingers

nduquette23 said:

Crossingfingers said:

When I found out I was pregnant with one of the kids I scheduled an abortion. Obviously I cancelled the appointment because I couldn't do it, but it still eats at me.

 

May I ask why you were thinking abortion? 

 

I was in a new relationship, going to school and working full time. I was already struggling and there was no light at the end of the tunnel that I could see. DH doesn't even know about it.

shakinros

Tough day in FFFC world. Hugs to you all.

Mine is a similar vein. I know my H doesn't have enough energy for me. When I met him, he worked really hard at two jobs to aupport himself and save for school so I thought it was nbd when he spent his days off laying on the couch doing nothing. Now that he doesn't have to work so hard because school is done and we're decently middle class, he still chooses to do nothing. And we're not talking about once in awhile. We're talking every single evening and weekend, he's on the couch, dicking around on the Internet. I feel like my life is wasting away while I wait for him to want to go out and do something with me.

Most of the time I just do my own thing with DD and leave him to his own devices. But I do wonder if there's a point down the road when we'll be living entirely separate lives in the same house.

This is coming up for me today because its the last day of our vacation. It's nearly 1pm and I haven't even left the room yet. Waited all morning for him to pull himself together and want to do something and now DD is down for a nap.

WhtRssnGrl

Related to marriages, my FFFC is about a girl I went to high school with.  She was so mean to me from day one and I don't know why.  I never did a thing to her or said anything mean to her, but she was an asshole and made my life hell for no reason.

I found out two weeks ago from a friend that this girl (who now lives out of state) was going to divorce her husband and try to make it on her own with their two daughters.  She found out she was pregnant with their third child right before she was going to tell him she wanted a divorce.

She has had the third child and told my friend that she can't leave her husband now because she's a SAHM and there's no way she could raise three children the majority of the time.  So, she's staying in her miserable marriage.

I laughed so, so hard when I heard this.

poppyseed1017

shakinros said:

Tough day in FFFC world. Hugs to you all. Mine is a similar vein. I know my H doesn't have enough energy for me. When I met him, he worked really hard at two jobs to aupport himself and save for school so I thought it was nbd when he spent his days off laying on the couch doing nothing. Now that he doesn't have to work so hard because school is done and we're decently middle class, he still chooses to do nothing. And we're not talking about once in awhile. We're talking every single evening and weekend, he's on the couch, dicking around on the Internet. I feel like my life is wasting away while I wait for him to want to go out and do something with me. Most of the time I just do my own thing with DD and leave him to his own devices. But I do wonder if there's a point down the road when we'll be living entirely separate lives in the same house. This is coming up for me today because its the last day of our vacation. It's nearly 1pm and I haven't even left the room yet. Waited all morning for him to pull himself together and want to do something and now DD is down for a nap.

Have you talked to him about this?  Is he depressed?  That doesn't seem normal, unless he has some sort of medical condition.

 

LindsayDesigner

I wish my grandparents had gotten divorced 30 years ago. I think my grandpa would be much better off.

cedenton

meredithcole said:

I've fantasized about my obgyn. Stirrups included.

OMG this reminded me. I finally have good FFFC.

DH once worked for a cleaning service in college. He was assigned to clean an OB/GYN's office. He once snuck me in at night and we did it on the table with my feet in the stirrups.

Crossingfingers

cedenton said:

meredithcole said:

I've fantasized about my obgyn. Stirrups included.

OMG this reminded me. I finally have good FFFC.

DH once worked for a cleaning service in college. He was assigned to clean an OB/GYN's office. He once snuck me in at night and we did it on the table with my feet in the stirrups.

[-X 

twoitalians

I'm sorry for all the tough FFFCs today ladies. I don't think I have any that are even close to that. Well maybe. It's along the same vein of relationships but in a different way. Before H, I was engaged before. I had also been in a handful of other serious relationships. I cheated on my ex-FI and one of the other serious BFs. My only reason is because I knew the relationships were serious but I didn't see myself 100 percent satisfied in them so I cheated as a way to "get out" of the relationship. I have no remorse for what I did. DH is the only person I have not had these urges to get out, for which I am thankful, but that is not to say we don't have our problems. I don't know who I'd be or what I'd be doing I'd I had married that other guy. I'm glad I got myself out even though I did it the wrong way. I would probably be miserable.

jessalynn521

Sometimes I wonder how long it takes 2 people to drift apart. DH has been on second shift now for 6 months. I blame the "drifting" feeling on that, though really deep down I am not sure. I see him about 2 hours a day. I feel alone enough that the thought has crossed my mind to leave, because all I would be missing is a measly 2 hours a day. Not to be with someone else, but to just be alone. If I were to describe our married life right now I would call us room mates who share a bed, and occasionally *try* (unsuccessfully) to dtd.

I guess I should clarify, that I do love him. I just feel like I didn't marry him to never get a chance to spend time with him. Honestly our vacation last month was a double edged sword, because I loved being with him, but I was reminded how much I miss him and how little I actually get to see him.

I wonder if it has to do with me feeling depressed, but I am too embarrassed to admit my feelings to him or anyone else. I would almost rather feel alone than have to admit that I am depressed again, so we just keep going on as is.

poppyseed1017

Jessa, I can relate because my H works two jobs and I only see him an hour or two a day.  It sucks and gets lonely.  But, the time we do spend together is nice and we make sure it's quality time.  You have often posted that when he's home, he drinks and plays video games for hours.  Is that still going on?

jessalynn521

poppyseed1017 said:

Jessa, I can relate because my H works two jobs and I only see him an hour or two a day.  It sucks and gets lonely.  But, the time we do spend together is nice and we make sure it's quality time.  You have often posted that when he's home, he drinks and plays video games for hours.  Is that still going on?

At times. It got better over the last week since I won't let him keep alcohol in the house. He goes to bed a little earlier that way, and therefore gets up a little earlier. Maybe I just ought to give it more time to see if it continues to help him get closer to a normal-ish sleep time, and maybe then I will see him more during the week. We do try and spend time together on the weekends, but a lot of times wind up taking care of things like the lawn and minor fixes to the house that don't get done during the week.

mmknightly

I took my kid to DC today telling her I have to do last minute shopping to do.  I have exactly 3 things to buy, but I don't plan on picking her up till 4.  My excuse is I never take her to DC on Fridays because that's normally my day off, but I need just a day to myself.  I do not feel bad about it.

fastcarsandfreedom3319

Heavy stuff, ladies. :-<

I have no FFC today that measures up to these hard hitters. But can I just say that it is so nice to see everyone supporting each other instead of a flamefest?

gollywollypog

Everybody, thanks for helping me not feel so alone. I am truly thankful for that. @poppyseed1017, we have done couples counseling in the past and it helped a lot at the time. I need to make an approach to start going again. @saltylove, I can relate. I'm sorry you are going thru hard times too. @jessalynn521, hugs to you too.

I keep starting to type stuff out but i just can't. So I'll just leave it at thank you for now.

SpruceGrouse

Awwww, you are all incredible ladies, I hope that you can feel better somehow or work stuff out. I have one: I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have had more than one boyfriend. I met DH when I was only 14 and I sometimes feel like I missed out a bit on casual teenage dating. DH and I didn't plan to stay together forever from the start, we just became best friends and then somehow became pernament. I feel lucky I have him and have a great history with him but I wonder what it would be like to have done some real dating.

Buona Fortuna

I have no FFFC but I do want to just say I'm sorry that you ladies are going through what you're going through.  If I know anything about this board, I know it is a great support.  ((hugs)) @gollywollypog-  you've always been such a big support for me.  Please let me know if you need anything.  Same for you BBJ.

AggieDaner

asales727 said:

Heavy stuff, ladies. :-< I have no FFC today that measures up to these hard hitters. But can I just say that it is so nice to see everyone supporting each other instead of a flamefest?

@asales727 oh, so now you don't like flames? Fire warmed my ancestors, you ungrateful little mo' fo'! Enjoy your cold, untoasted marshmallows at your summer un-lit pile of logs!!!!

MoFree

I am really sorry that so many of you wonderful ladies are experiencing difficult times in your relationship with your DH / SO. Sometimes I have to remind myself that the absence of fertility issues does not mean the absence of marital issues.

When I hear about someone's easy conception my initial reaction is one of envy before I can offer congratulations. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be able to get KU without spending the price of a small car on medication, u/s, blood monitoring, god awful injections and having to plan your life around a medicated cycle.

shakinros

sarzer121 said:

@shakinros I have a similar situation. My hubby is on the couch evening and weekend. He has a tough on his body job and is his justification. So lo and I are often out together just the two of us. If he isn't on couch he is doing a huge project on the house or out with friends. I love him dearly but I'm lonely a lot.

Yup, sounds about right. But my H doesn't have the excuse of a job tiring for his body. I wish I knew how to get him up and moving WITH us!

SJandVA

Sorry so many of you are having trouble in your relationships. I hope you all find some comfort, peace, and happiness. It makes me want to give you all big hugs!

sammiesjd414

mmknightly said:

I took my kid to DC today telling her I have to do last minute shopping to do.  I have exactly 3 things to buy, but I don't plan on picking her up till 4.  My excuse is I never take her to DC on Fridays because that's normally my day off, but I need just a day to myself.  I do not feel bad about it.

You do not need an excuse for a day to yourself! Dd goes todaycare twice a week when i am on vacation and i look forward to it! I can get so much done, and then focus on her when she is home. I hope you enjoyed that day!