FFFC

BillyMollyEmmy

I have to go to work in half an hour. My mom just came and picked up LO. I should be getting ready for work, or having breakfast, or doing some last minute cleaning up. But instead I am just sitting here on my computer enjoying the silence of my house.

MrsKipper

delaine0821 said:

thechimichanga said:

delaine0821 said:

@kellersprag Really? They don't automatically send it to you in NJ? My kids were born in PA. They made me fill out the paperwork at the hospital and mailed it to me.

I filled out all of the paperwork in the hospital. But you have to send a check in after the fact for my county if you want an actual copy.

Wow. Mine was free. Guess it pays to pay the toll to cross the bridge, lol.


I had to pay $10 for a certified copy.

thebanich

mands629 said:

linzeek44 said:

Am I the only one who has been asked for E's birth certificate when traveling with him as a lap baby? They have asked three times, so I'm glad I have it.

I have it because we've been asked for identification for both kids when traveling. I also have state IDs for both kids for traveling purposes, and because I think it's adorable.

Where did you get IDs for them? I want to get them because I'm paranoid as all get out.

BPer

LoisLayn23 said:

BPer said:

When people ask me how Hannah is doing, how 'new' mommy-hood is, etc., I never seem to answer 'great', or even 'good'. It's always something like 'Oh, she's a handful', or 'She's been really fussy lately.' She's been really fussy ALWAYS. I swear she thinks everyday is the worst day of her life. We're also not TTP, and I'm terrified that I'm going to end up with another high-needs baby.

FWIW, Tess was a tempermental baby and Nora is a freaking dream come true. I would have a Duggarful if they were all like nora.

You give me hope, LL.

Hyaline

redneckmomma25 said:

I have terrible anxiety traveling. Further from home, worse it is. Driving 3.5 hours to go camping is stressing me out! Which is crazy! I've been there many times. I just have not driven myself. Nor with a baby. The baby woke with a slight fever (teething I suspect, two poops yesterday and a little warm when she went to bed) so that doesn't help my stress level.

I totally get this. I get anxiety traveling too. Mostly flying. I've been able to pinpoint the source, though and seriously...it's being close proximity with strangers. I hate it. Now that I know what it is that triggers my anxiety, it's easier to calm myself now. I'm sure everything will be fine with G. Have fun and good luck!

For me it is partly the driving with the baby an not knowing how she will do on the trip. Also not knowing exactly how to get there. Plus there will be a car following me. Family so of course if we get lost they won't be upset with me. But ya know. Just get stressed about it

Why not tell your fam that, with the baby in the car, you'd really rather not play navigator and ask them to take the lead?  I mean, if you'd be going off google maps or whatever, they can do that, too!  Ask for what you need

blindvictory

I haven't played on TB in a while, but...

I'm secretly confused about the #selflove hastag on IG. I mean, doesn't that mean like... you know... masturbating? I feel out of the loop and kinda old sometimes. 

Stasi

cheeseandrice said:

Stasi said:

I don't know what "patchie" means on IG. I've tried looking it up on Google and can't figure it out. I'm also the queen of P&R. Sometimes I even start threads and don't get back to them for days.

Just starting this. But is it babies same age as us? The O12 board took the name "Pumpkin Patch" which turned into Patch/patchies.  That might be it.  Also? they crazy.

Maybe, but I feel like I've seen mlf (is that her name...yikes) use it on IG..IDK

Hyaline

BPer said:

When people ask me how Hannah is doing, how 'new' mommy-hood is, etc., I never seem to answer 'great', or even 'good'. It's always something like 'Oh, she's a handful', or 'She's been really fussy lately.' She's been really fussy ALWAYS. I swear she thinks everyday is the worst day of her life. We're also not TTP, and I'm terrified that I'm going to end up with another high-needs baby.

I hate that question--"How do you like motherhood?"  What the fluck are you SUPPOSED to say to that?  "Um, I often miss the independence I had before the baby, feel mentally and emotionally unfulfilled by the work of babycare, and while I love her to death I could use about two weeks away from her at this point?"  My kid is not mellow at all, really high-needs, and I'm also not really the nurturing type, so I'm not sure whose temperament is really to blame here.  Probably mine.

Sometimes I think I must be the only one who feels that way.  Because everyone seems to ask with this eager anticipation of the "It's WONDERFUL gushgushgush" answer.

Stasi

blindvictory said:

I haven't played on TB in a while, but...

I'm secretly confused about the #selflove hastag on IG. I mean, doesn't that mean like... you know... masturbating? I feel out of the loop and kinda old sometimes. 

It's a hashtag that I've seen associated with #birthwithoutfear and I think it has to do with positive body image. It's fun to pretend otherwise though, just for shits and giggles...

blindvictory

LoisLayn23 said:

blindvictory said:

I haven't played on TB in a while, but...

I'm secretly confused about the #selflove hastag on IG. I mean, doesn't that mean like... you know... masturbating? I feel out of the loop and kinda old sometimes. 

Well, that's what every single other bumpie following her thought and thinks. And then it became a big lol when she posted selfie nakeds with the #selflove. One can only assume what you self love when you are nakey.

Yeeeahhh... at first I thought maybe she didn't understand what people normally mean by "self love". And then I thought maybe she DID. And then I wondered why you'd announce to people that you were getting ready for some self lovin'. *shrug* 

msm261

I don't like the whole not trying but not preventing thing. If you are banging each other and not using protection then own it. There should be a better way to say it. Like "We are just having sex this month like a couple of 15 year olds who only received abstinence only education at school. So we will see how this works out for us in a few weeks." Then I'd like the concept better.

MarisaKathleen

cheeseandrice said:

Tarachonga- I feel the same about people IRL usually.

There are some stupid people that work in higher ed, letmetellyou.

Seriously stupid people that work in higher ed that are state employees so they will never, ever, ever get fired even though they're terrible at their jobs and all around crappy human beings are my new annoyance at work.  Now my job involves me interfacing with all kinds of new people.  I liked it better when it was just my students.

Stasi

msm261 said:

I don't like the whole not trying but not preventing thing. If you are banging each other and not using protection then own it. There should be a better way to say it. Like "We are just having sex this month like a couple of 15 year olds who only received abstinence only education at school. So we will see how this works out for us in a few weeks." Then I'd like the concept better.

I think when people say, they aren't preventing, but they aren't trying then it means that they aren't charting/OPKs/watching their cycle for the ideal time to have sex to get pregnant.

This idea might be lost on some people who just randomly got pregnant within a few cycles, but there are others who watch these things because of past issues TTC or just want to know whats going on with their bodies...

MrsKipper

msm261 said:

I don't like the whole not trying but not preventing thing. If you are banging each other and not using protection then own it. There should be a better way to say it. Like "We are just having sex this month like a couple of 15 year olds who only received abstinence only education at school. So we will see how this works out for us in a few weeks." Then I'd like the concept better.

I say NTNP because I'm not temping or using OPKs, but we're not using any protection. We're just seeing what happens without the pressure of all that stuff. I do like your description, though...it sounds more fun!

PenelopePond

We got Sean's birth certificate before we left the hospital. That was pretty nice. Damp Rid is the stuff that absorbs water. It's awesome.

Hyaline

Preface: I'm a bitter angry hag.  End preface.

MIL watches SIL's son several days a week for free (on top of working full-time as a nurse--she watches the baby on her off days).  I feel like SIL is seriously using MIL's good nature, and when she started talking about trying for baby #2 this fall, I had to bite my tongue from asking what MIL thought about that.  Because seriously--I'd be more inclined to pop out another kid if someone else was watching both of them all day so I could focus on a career I couldn't afford to pursue otherwise. (No way SIL could afford childcare costs on top of living where she does without the help on the money she makes.)  I know I'm just being a jealous b!tch, but the whole thing just makes me crabby.

msm261

MrsKipper said:

I don't like the whole not trying but not preventing thing. If you are banging each other and not using protection then own it. There should be a better way to say it. Like "We are just having sex this month like a couple of 15 year olds who only received abstinence only education at school. So we will see how this works out for us in a few weeks." Then I'd like the concept better.

I say NTNP because I'm not temping or using OPKs, but we're not using any protection. We're just seeing what happens without the pressure of all that stuff. I do like your description, though...it sounds more fun!

<br/ Trying without technology

Stasi

LoisLayn23 said:

msm261 said:

I don't like the whole not trying but not preventing thing. If you are banging each other and not using protection then own it. There should be a better way to say it. Like "We are just having sex this month like a couple of 15 year olds who only received abstinence only education at school. So we will see how this works out for us in a few weeks." Then I'd like the concept better.

Yeah, I did own it. I thought I was pretty clear what we were doing.

:::shrugs::: we are not trying and not preventing. I mean, that's EXACLTY what we're doing. Humping and seeing what happens. We aren't pulling and praying. I'm just not getting obsessive about charting and only boning days 10-15 and then being irritable during the 2ww and crying over my negative pee stick. 

Stop talking about me.

msm261

Stasi said:

LoisLayn23 said:

msm261 said:

I don't like the whole not trying but not preventing thing. If you are banging each other and not using protection then own it. There should be a better way to say it. Like "We are just having sex this month like a couple of 15 year olds who only received abstinence only education at school. So we will see how this works out for us in a few weeks." Then I'd like the concept better.

Yeah, I did own it. I thought I was pretty clear what we were doing.

:::shrugs::: we are not trying and not preventing. I mean, that's EXACLTY what we're doing. Humping and seeing what happens. We aren't pulling and praying. I'm just not getting obsessive about charting and only boning days 10-15 and then being irritable during the 2ww and crying over my negative pee stick. 

Stop talking about me.

That's still trying to get pregnant. Just having a better mind set and not getting upset if it doesn't happen. I guess if people would leave out the not trying part and just we aren't preventing it would make more sense. And it's not just you personally. It's said by tons of people and it has always annoyed me, but maybe that's bc DH could walk past me in a towel when I'm off BC and I get knocked up.

MarisaKathleen

The way I look at it, I could never "not try not prevent."  Even if that was the mind set going into it, I'd still always be aware of when that window is and constantly thinking about it.

That being said, I honestly don't know if I want more kids.  Nancy is the easiest baby I've ever met.  I don't talk about it on here or IRL because I honestly feel bad by how amazingly easy she is when so many people have a more difficult road.  I worry if we'd have another one that we'd get a high needs baby and that I would be a terrible parent.

Hyaline

LoisLayn23 said:

msm261 said:

I don't like the whole not trying but not preventing thing. If you are banging each other and not using protection then own it. There should be a better way to say it. Like "We are just having sex this month like a couple of 15 year olds who only received abstinence only education at school. So we will see how this works out for us in a few weeks." Then I'd like the concept better.

Yeah, I did own it. I thought I was pretty clear what we were doing.

:::shrugs::: we are not trying and not preventing. I mean, that's EXACLTY what we're doing. Humping and seeing what happens. We aren't pulling and praying. I'm just not getting obsessive about charting and only boning days 10-15 and then being irritable during the 2ww and crying over my negative pee stick. 

Yeah, this is how I feel about it--it's what we were doing when we got pregnant with DD, if we have another, it's the course we'll take.  We were not actively trying (no charting, no extra sex, nothing like that) and we weren't doing anything to stop it, either.  Would "letting nature take its course" appeal to you more? It's not "not owning it" if we don't claim we were trying when we weren't, in fact, trying.

Stasi

msm261 said:

Stasi said:

LoisLayn23 said:

msm261 said:

I don't like the whole not trying but not preventing thing. If you are banging each other and not using protection then own it. There should be a better way to say it. Like "We are just having sex this month like a couple of 15 year olds who only received abstinence only education at school. So we will see how this works out for us in a few weeks." Then I'd like the concept better.

Yeah, I did own it. I thought I was pretty clear what we were doing.

:::shrugs::: we are not trying and not preventing. I mean, that's EXACLTY what we're doing. Humping and seeing what happens. We aren't pulling and praying. I'm just not getting obsessive about charting and only boning days 10-15 and then being irritable during the 2ww and crying over my negative pee stick. 

Stop talking about me.

That's still trying to get pregnant. Just having a better mind set and not getting upset if it doesn't happen. I guess if people would leave out the not trying part and just we aren't preventing it would make more sense. And it's not just you personally. It's said by tons of people and it has always annoyed me, but maybe that's bc DH could walk past me in a towel when I'm off BC and I get knocked up.

I get where you're coming from...it is trying to get pregnant if you're sleeping with someone, not using protection, and know where babies come from

I'm just nervous because it took us 18 months to have Kate, and although it seems like the PCOS problems I was having aren't happening now, I worry that it's going to take forever again and then my kids will be further apart in age than I wished they would be.

Sounds pretty trivial typing it out like that, but we all have our shit right? ;;)

Stasi

thechimichanga said:

meh...trying to me is actually setting out to get pregnant. Just becuase you are having sex without protection doesn't mean you are trying.

There is a reason why a lot of people say they are not trying but not preventing. If it happens, squee, if it doesn't, NBD.

That term really doesn't bother me, but TBH, your last sentence is pretty insensitive, even though I know you didn't mean it to be.

FWIW, it doesn't bother me, but be aware that it could make some people feel bad...

msm261

LoisLayn23 said:

msm261 said:

Stasi said:

LoisLayn23 said:

msm261 said:

I don't like the whole not trying but not preventing thing. If you are banging each other and not using protection then own it. There should be a better way to say it. Like "We are just having sex this month like a couple of 15 year olds who only received abstinence only education at school. So we will see how this works out for us in a few weeks." Then I'd like the concept better.

Yeah, I did own it. I thought I was pretty clear what we were doing.

:::shrugs::: we are not trying and not preventing. I mean, that's EXACLTY what we're doing. Humping and seeing what happens. We aren't pulling and praying. I'm just not getting obsessive about charting and only boning days 10-15 and then being irritable during the 2ww and crying over my negative pee stick. 

Stop talking about me.

That's still trying to get pregnant. Just having a better mind set and not getting upset if it doesn't happen. I guess if people would leave out the not trying part and just we aren't preventing it would make more sense. And it's not just you personally. It's said by tons of people and it has always annoyed me, but maybe that's bc DH could walk past me in a towel when I'm off BC and I get knocked up.

Until you hop over to the TTGP board and you aren't trying if you aren't temping, charting, using OPKs, eating the right diet, testing at 9,10,11 dpo, and having an overall unhostile uterus.

If we were trying we'd be actively scheduling sex for days around ovulation and taking steps to increase our chances of conceiving. We're just having regular, married sex.

But I think we all understand that unprotected sex can result in a baby. So if you are fully letting semen in your vagina without contraceptives then you should assume you could get pregnant. To me this means you are trying to get pregnant. This is like saying I'm not sleeping but I'm not awake. And I think married sex is still married sex if you're preventing. Unless you ask the Duggars but that's a different thread.

MrsKipper

I'll completely own the fact that we're half-ass trying. I'm charting my CM and that's it. There's no way I'm taking that over to TTGP. They'd have me for lunch if I showed any concern over not being KU this month. So we're half-ass trying compared to what I did last time. If I don't get pregnant anytime soon, then whatevs.

thebanich

thechimichanga said:

msm261 said:

Stasi said:

LoisLayn23 said:

msm261 said:

I don't like the whole not trying but not preventing thing. If you are banging each other and not using protection then own it. There should be a better way to say it. Like "We are just having sex this month like a couple of 15 year olds who only received abstinence only education at school. So we will see how this works out for us in a few weeks." Then I'd like the concept better.

Yeah, I did own it. I thought I was pretty clear what we were doing.

:::shrugs::: we are not trying and not preventing. I mean, that's EXACLTY what we're doing. Humping and seeing what happens. We aren't pulling and praying. I'm just not getting obsessive about charting and only boning days 10-15 and then being irritable during the 2ww and crying over my negative pee stick. 

Stop talking about me.

That's still trying to get pregnant. Just having a better mind set and not getting upset if it doesn't happen. I guess if people would leave out the not trying part and just we aren't preventing it would make more sense. And it's not just you personally. It's said by tons of people and it has always annoyed me, but maybe that's bc DH could walk past me in a towel when I'm off BC and I get knocked up.

meh...trying to me is actually setting out to get pregnant. Just becuase you are having sex without protection doesn't mean you are trying.

There is a reason why a lot of people say they are not trying but not preventing. If it happens, squee, if it doesn't, NBD.

That term really doesn't bother me, but TBH, your last sentence is pretty insensitive, even though I know you didn't mean it to be.

chimi said this better than I could. Why do you care so much about NTNP?  I'm in the same situation as you ( @msm261 ) but it's pretty harsh to flaunt that in that face of people who obviously aren't.

MRoxy0628

MarisaKathleen said:

The way I look at it, I could never "not try not prevent."  Even if that was the mind set going into it, I'd still always be aware of when that window is and constantly thinking about it.

I'm the same way. I'm nowhere near ready to have another baby, but when I do, I'm sure I will go back to charting right away.

Stasi

Banich4eva said:

thechimichanga said:

meh...trying to me is actually setting out to get pregnant. Just becuase you are having sex without protection doesn't mean you are trying.

There is a reason why a lot of people say they are not trying but not preventing. If it happens, squee, if it doesn't, NBD.

That term really doesn't bother me, but TBH, your last sentence is pretty insensitive, even though I know you didn't mean it to be.

chimi said this better than I could. Why do you care so much about NTNP?  I'm in the same situation as you ( @msm261 ) but it's pretty harsh to flaunt that in that face of people who obviously aren't.

Is it though? This isn't TTTC or even TTGP. I think she was just stating a fact. Flaunting it goes a bit far, no?

Stasi

They've blocked After 6 and Zappos at work. I'm pissed I can't shop for shoes.

I'm even more scared that The Bump will be next...then I'll dies!

msm261

What I meant by that is if I don't prevent, I get pregnant. It's not meant to be a brag or insensitive--it's just how my body works. So I could never say we're not trying bc if I went off bc and had sex, I'd probably be KTFU faster than I'd want to be. I do apologize if that was taken the wrong way by anyone trying. Or not trying. Or trying only on the second Sunday of months ending in ber. You guys can try or not try however you want. I just don't like at phrase.

thebanich

Stasi said:

Banich4eva said:

thechimichanga said:

meh...trying to me is actually setting out to get pregnant. Just becuase you are having sex without protection doesn't mean you are trying.

There is a reason why a lot of people say they are not trying but not preventing. If it happens, squee, if it doesn't, NBD.

That term really doesn't bother me, but TBH, your last sentence is pretty insensitive, even though I know you didn't mean it to be.

chimi said this better than I could. Why do you care so much about NTNP?  I'm in the same situation as you ( @msm261 ) but it's pretty harsh to flaunt that in that face of people who obviously aren't.

Is it though? This isn't TTTC or even TTGP. I think she was just stating a fact. Flaunting it goes a bit far, no?

Perhaps. I'm not great with the written word. Or the spoken word. Maybe I should just butt out of the conversation...it just rubbed me the wrong way.

JessicaxLynn87

Hyaline said:

Preface: I'm a bitter angry hag.  End preface.

MIL watches SIL's son several days a week for free (on top of working full-time as a nurse--she watches the baby on her off days).  I feel like SIL is seriously using MIL's good nature, and when she started talking about trying for baby #2 this fall, I had to bite my tongue from asking what MIL thought about that.  Because seriously--I'd be more inclined to pop out another kid if someone else was watching both of them all day so I could focus on a career I couldn't afford to pursue otherwise. (No way SIL could afford childcare costs on top of living where she does without the help on the money she makes.)  I know I'm just being a jealous b!tch, but the whole thing just makes me crabby.

I "hate" most people who have family who can watch their kids for free.

We're all alone here.

Us too.

Hyaline

msm261 said:

LoisLayn23 said:

msm261 said:

Stasi said:

LoisLayn23 said:

msm261 said:

I don't like the whole not trying but not preventing thing. If you are banging each other and not using protection then own it. There should be a better way to say it. Like "We are just having sex this month like a couple of 15 year olds who only received abstinence only education at school. So we will see how this works out for us in a few weeks." Then I'd like the concept better.

Yeah, I did own it. I thought I was pretty clear what we were doing.

:::shrugs::: we are not trying and not preventing. I mean, that's EXACLTY what we're doing. Humping and seeing what happens. We aren't pulling and praying. I'm just not getting obsessive about charting and only boning days 10-15 and then being irritable during the 2ww and crying over my negative pee stick. 

Stop talking about me.

That's still trying to get pregnant. Just having a better mind set and not getting upset if it doesn't happen. I guess if people would leave out the not trying part and just we aren't preventing it would make more sense. And it's not just you personally. It's said by tons of people and it has always annoyed me, but maybe that's bc DH could walk past me in a towel when I'm off BC and I get knocked up.

Until you hop over to the TTGP board and you aren't trying if you aren't temping, charting, using OPKs, eating the right diet, testing at 9,10,11 dpo, and having an overall unhostile uterus.

If we were trying we'd be actively scheduling sex for days around ovulation and taking steps to increase our chances of conceiving. We're just having regular, married sex.

But I think we all understand that unprotected sex can result in a baby. So if you are fully letting semen in your vagina without contraceptives then you should assume you could get pregnant. To me this means you are trying to get pregnant. This is like saying I'm not sleeping but I'm not awake. And I think married sex is still married sex if you're preventing. Unless you ask the Duggars but that's a different thread.

This is the part I don't get.  Trying, to me, means taking active steps.  Your sleeping example actually works well--when my husband sits on the couch on a Sunday afternoon and watches a movie, he knows he might fall asleep, but he's not trying to take a nap. If he were trying to take a nap, he'd lie down on the bed upstairs and turn out the light.  If I'm trying to get pregnant, I'm going to aim to have sex around ovulation.  If I'm just not trying to prevent, I'm not an idiot--I know I could get pregnant, but I'm not actively taking steps to try to get pregnant, either.  My husband knows sitting on the couch on a lazy afternoon might result in a nap.  In neither case are we trying for a certain result.

thebanich

Stasi said:

They've blocked After 6 and Zappos at work. I'm pissed I can't shop for shoes.

I'm even more scared that The Bump will be next...then I'll dies!

If I couldn't shop for shoes I would be really bored.

MrsKipper

Stasi said:

They've blocked After 6 and Zappos at work. I'm pissed I can't shop for shoes.

I'm even more scared that The Bump will be next...then I'll dies!

When I was working they had the Internet blocked, so I couldn't bump at work. That's why I SAH now.

Stasi

Banich4eva said:

Stasi said:

They've blocked After 6 and Zappos at work. I'm pissed I can't shop for shoes.

I'm even more scared that The Bump will be next...then I'll dies!

If I couldn't shop for shoes I would be really bored.

I chose to keep being able to run over wearing heels, so my shoe shopping is really boring...lots of "granny" shoes. The shoes that are cute, but good for my feet are so so expensive, so I've been relying more on discount sites and amazon...

Any good suggestions for shoe shopping sites?

msm261

I'd love to be able to have sex with reckless abandon and not get pregnant. I'm just saying its hard for me to relate to NTNP bc I could never do that. I'm sure there's other ladies here who would also get KTFU "not trying" rather quickly. I'm fighting semantics here (I don't like a phrase) while others are upset with how quickly someone could get KTFU not trying. There's tons of women like me. Have you not seen the amount of reality shows relating to unplanned pregnancies? They weren't trying either and somehow managed to conceive.

MRoxy0628

MississippiCatfish said:

I still have anxiety every time I leave LO with anyone other than my husband for more than an hour.

(P&R)

Me too. Except for her daycare provider, but she's been with her for 6 months.

Here are a couple of my FFFC (if these even qualify as such):

I don't like shopping for shoes. I much prefer clothes. It's probably because I have big feet, am tall and hate heels.

I don't think I'd have grandparents watch my child, even if they were available to.

BPer

Spoof Le Jones said:

I'd love to be able to have sex with reckless abandon and not get pregnant. I'm just saying its hard for me to relate to NTNP bc I could never do that. I'm sure there's other ladies here who would also get KTFU "not trying" rather quickly. I'm fighting semantics here (I don't like a phrase) while others are upset with how quickly someone could get KTFU not trying. There's tons of women like me. Have you not seen the amount of reality shows relating to unplanned pregnancies? They weren't trying either and somehow managed to conceive.

Eek.

Yeah. This is coming off as kind of insensitive to those who have TTTC.

thebanich

Stasi said:

Banich4eva said:

Stasi said:

They've blocked After 6 and Zappos at work. I'm pissed I can't shop for shoes.

I'm even more scared that The Bump will be next...then I'll dies!

If I couldn't shop for shoes I would be really bored.

I chose to keep being able to run over wearing heels, so my shoe shopping is really boring...lots of "granny" shoes. The shoes that are cute, but good for my feet are so so expensive, so I've been relying more on discount sites and amazon...

Any good suggestions for shoe shopping sites?

Amazon is my go to site. Sometimes I will look on 6pm or Polyvore if I am feeling adventurous.