Never married.

HeatherFontaine87

I am now 10 weeks along. The father is an old childhood friend. We've never actually even dated not talked about dating. He knows and is being supportive. The thing is I will be a single mom through and through. He lives out of town and will not be moving back to our town to raise it with me. There is also a small chance he's not the dad which in that case the other will not be a viable father figure. Idk. I feel very lost and confused. Everything is overwhelming me. I have gotten to the point of crippling fear/depression because I am alone in this. I haven't gotten a midwife or ob/gyn. I've had two ultrasounds. But I don't even know where to start or what to do. My friend who is pregnant has her boyfriend so she doesn't quite understand all my fears. I feel alone in this.

babymama619

1. Get to the OB. NOW. do you have insurance? If not, call department of health and family services, or even the WIC office and ask them to point you in the right direction for getting medicaid. 

2. 10 weeks is a tough time hormonaly speaking. take deep breaths and know things will work out. you can only control what you can control, which is the health of your LO. 

3. find a friend or family member that can support you and make this all about you. you may have to pull back from your pregnant friend fora  while. she really can't understand and shouldn't be expected to. If you don't have a friend or family member to talk to, get counselor. 

4. Sounds like the potential BD might be a good source of moral support. Yes, it sucks to have to do it alone, but you have to do what you have to do. And there reality is, you're not alone anymore, you're steering the ship for both you and LO. And while that responsibility is intimidating, you still need to step up.

5. Does the good guy know he might not be the BD? is that adding to your stress level? I can;t really offer advice on how to handle that w/o knowing more, but take the love and support you can find at least for now.

good luck...it does get easier.

HeatherFontaine87

I do have a pretty good support system. And my pregnant friend isn't being mean she just has someone so it's different. When I wake up sick and hungry I have no one but me to try and get something in my tummy. Also the father knows of the small possibility it's not his. He is still wanting to help. But it's limited he works a lot and doesn't live in my town. I'm just overwhelmed and it's not as real for him as it is for me. I don't know what I should be buying or doing. I intend to get an OB today. But I'm just worried about everything.

eguillot84

I was in your exact position when I found out I was pregnant. I was seeing my ex on and off again for several years. In between that I'd date around in the hopes I'd get over him. Around October of last year I found out I was pregnant. I told my ex who was supportive, but he couldn't do too much because he lived two hours away.

My advice to you is to only think about your sweet baby. Make it be a strong motivator to keep yourself sane. My sister is pregnant and so was a good friend of mine while I was pregnant, and you're right it doesn't compare to your situation. They will sympathize, but they don't truly understand. There are days when you will feel alone and like you can't do it, but it does get better. My mom has been a constant source of support along with two of my aunts.

My daughter is now 6 weeks old. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me. Do I wish I had a partner to help me? Of course, but once your baby is here you just do what you have to do. I just try to keep thinking that one day I will meet someone who will want to be her father!

As far as buying goes I would start buying the gender neutral/things you know you'll need. (Crib, carseat,etc.) If you buy like one really expensive thing a month it might help. Unless of course your friends and family are willing to pitch in and get it for your shower.

HeatherFontaine87

Thank you. And congrats. It's hard at night all I do is think. But you are right it should get better.

MinnesotaMomma91

It gets better. I just gave birth to ds a week ago. And i do have a different single mom situation. My bf and ds bio dad are two different men. My bf and i have been on and off for 8 years and are finally getting it right.

Ds bio dad is a tool for many different reasons, but hes an uninvolved party to ds so no harm no foul.

Anyways its rough now but it does get better.

babymama619

HeatherFontaine87 said:

I do have a pretty good support system. And my pregnant friend isn't being mean she just has someone so it's different. When I wake up sick and hungry I have no one but me to try and get something in my tummy. Also the father knows of the small possibility it's not his. He is still wanting to help. But it's limited he works a lot and doesn't live in my town. I'm just overwhelmed and it's not as real for him as it is for me. I don't know what I should be buying or doing. I intend to get an OB today. But I'm just worried about everything.

I didn't mean to suggest that your friend is being mean, but sometimes it's extra hard being around someone who just can't understand, or who has something you wish you did. I totally get it, it sucks being single and pregnant. I just want someone else to take the trash out or carry the laundry upstairs, but alas, the laundry can wait and I don't have to coddle a manchild throughout my pregnancy. The worry can be heavy, but try to take everything one step at a time and seriously, the hormones will settle down and you'll start feeling better in a few weeks.

**Oh year, one more thing, If you're thinking of a crib I just found this cruib the somehow auto adjusts so you don't need a big strong guy around to change the height of the crib. Now this is one for a single mama!!!

https://www.target.com/p/summer-infant-bryant-convertible-crib-with-simple-adjust/-/A-14346811

HeatherFontaine87

I just wanted to clarify she wasn't rubbing her bf in my face.
And this is true she does complain that she feels like she has her second on the way cause she has to take care of her bf so much. Ha. There's pros and cons for both.
And I hope it's just hormones I don't really cry any more. Which I think it's cause I've tried to just shut down and ignor those emotions. Not good I'm sure.
I love the crib. I've seen a few like that and it's def the best option. Thanks.