IVF and quitting job???

ikrystal

I start my first round of IVF this month.  DH and I have been trying for almost two years to get pregnant.  I have had zero response to meds so far and I think I am going to lose my mind!!!

Anyway - I work two jobs.  I work full time as support for extended learning at a University, and my husband and I own a construction company (for which I do all the paperwork, deal with the lawyers, accountant, etc.).  Needless to say, it keeps me pretty busy.  On top of that, I am pursuing my graduate degree in Theoretical Psychology (two more courses and then my thesis and I'm done!).  All of this paired with the multiple labs and doctor appointments for infertility has me going up the wall.  My husband and I think that its time for me to quit my full time job at the University (which I can't stand anyway, and which pays pretty poorly).  IVF barely costs us anything because we have amazing insurance, and we can afford for me to quit without having to change our lifestyle.  But I am racked with guilt!  My husband is a FF and does construction on his days off (but is home by 5 pm every night and doesnt work weekends).  I feel like if I quit my full time job... I'm going to feel guilty, even though he wants me to quit my job.  But I know the stress of IVF is going to catch up to me really soon and I'm not quite sure how to handle everything that is going on PLUS IVF.  Has anyone done this before?  Has anyone been told that stress may affect the outcome of IVF?  My doctor told me that studies do not show significance, but he also added in, "but any doctor will tell you... stress definitely plays a part.  Theres no doubt about it."  I am thinking that if I cut down on my workload, we may be more successful with trying to conceive.  Any thoughts are greatly appreciated!!!

Josiecat

I quit my job to focus solely on IVF. I am so glad I did! I work in pharma advertising, and since I sit in front of a computer most of the day, I knew I wouldn't be disciplined enough to stay focused on my work. I don't know if it has helped my stress any, but it has certainly helped me maintain focus, and I know that I have not jeopardized my career in any way.

KR250222

depends on the type of person you are. do you thrive on being incredibly busy and manage stress well? i can handle a lot, and i didn't find the IVF process to be too stressful for me. the only thing that truly sucked is when i developed OHSS and was out of work for a week but that doesn't happen to everyone. 

if you don't have to work and your husband doesn't want you to... plus you don't like your job... plus you are finishing a degree... i'd quit if i were you.

IBackBevo

Sig warning

I agree with pp that it depends on the type of person you are.

The only thing I can say is that sometimes, for me, being super busy actually keeps me distracted. Otherwise I sit around and obsess...and that is easy to do with ART.

crpate

Everyone is different. I quit my full time job, and am just doing part time work. I quit my job mainly to focus on building our family, but also didnt love the job.

At first it was such a relief to be able to go to dr. appts without having to make excuses to leave. Now I almost feel like Its just another thing i've changed for apparently nothing. I like to stay busy and have some days where I'm not, i think these are the times it gets me down that two years later I'm basically a stay at home "mom" with no baby.

The other aspect I would mention is that I feel my circle of friends is smaller now that im not around my friends at work. Going through some tough times I think i definitely miss having a group of buddies i see everyday.

katekat8721

It sounds like you and your hubby are on the same page... quit :-) don't feel guilty for taking care of you and your family!

sparkles2040

Since you can afford it, your hubby is on board, and you dont love that job anyways- I'd quit. If any of those werent the case, it would be a tougher decision. Best of luck! You are very lucky your insurance is so great!

ikrystal

crpate said:

At first it was such a relief to be able to go to dr. appts without having to make excuses to leave. Now I almost feel like Its just another thing i've changed for apparently nothing. I like to stay busy and have some days where I'm not, i think these are the times it gets me down that two years later I'm basically a stay at home "mom" with no baby. 

This.  I'm afraid I'll be doing it for nothing.  The RE gave us really good odds: 50-60% success rate per cycle.  But - if I quit and IVF does not work for us, I'm going to feel racked with guilt.  

ikrystal

I'm glad that I am not the only one who decided to quit while TTC/IVF.  If I quit my full time job, I would still be working part time and going to grad school.  Plus, I was definitely quitting my full time job when I got pregnant anyway.  I'm hoping that this is just me quitting a few months early - instead of quitting for nothing.