Update to perspective on DH problem

SunAndRain

Well I told DH about his friends actions during our party and told him that there was no way I was going to tolerate being disrespected in my own home. Next time it happens I am asking them to leave and DH better back me up. And they will no longer be welcome in my home. I told DH that it was humiliating enough that DH doesn't back me up in public but in my home I won't be disrespected. DH agreed.

Now will they be back in my home? Not likely. But I feel better anyway.

So thanks to those who responded. Your perspective and advice was extremely helpful.

laurakaz13

Good for you!  Way to stand up for yourself!

LoCarb

:-bd

EastCoastBride

Well, good luck. 

2chatter

Is he still planning to go hang out with them when you are intentionally excluded?  IE, they won't disrespect you in your home, but will do it wherever else they are, with your husband's tacit consent?

jnealet

Good for you!

SunAndRain

2chatter said:

Is he still planning to go hang out with them when you are intentionally excluded?  IE, they won't disrespect you in your home, but will do it wherever else they are, with your husband's tacit consent?

Well, I mentioned in my OP that I have learned to accept that he will continue to be friends with this guy. Disrespectful? Yes. But this is out of my control. And I've been very clear with DH that I don't respect him for it and frankly I find it humiliating. We will see how things continue to evolve.

*sparky*

I think it is great that you stood up for yourself and that he is open to changing, even if it is just a little.  This has obviously been going on for a while so I am not surprised he didn't suddenly say "you are right - I will never speak to them again!" but it seems like he sees he was not supportive enough so that is a great start.