WTF Wednesday

Lavender P

Let's hear 'em!

Lavender P

WTF BM! We bought SS workbooks and had him consistently reading and doing pages in it everyday he was with us, including on vacation. You had him for three weeks and 'couldn't find the time' to do any? SS had time to watch daytime television with you and watch his younger siblings while you took a nap, but is too busy to do something to stimulate his brain? When he is consistently getting C's and D's again I don't want I hear about how his grades are crap. They won't magically get better by wishing and hoping, he actually has to work for it. I know that is a new concept for you seeing as you have never held a real job and barely passed high school but we really want more for SS and you should too. He is going to be in middle school and has no work ethic or study skills. I worry about his future and feel like no matter what we teach him when he is with us it is useless since it isn't being enforced the majority of the time.

KTdidit

WTF attorney?! Our final hearing for BD not paying CS was 3 full weeks ago. At that time I gave you his employer's name and address. Why did I get an email yesterday from your assistant saying she was just now filling out the payroll deduction order and can't find his employer's information? Why didn't you have this done 3 weeks ago?! I get that you're probably busy but this is a simple order and that's $300 that I could've been getting already.

new+tothis

WTF BD. If you file for a modification of child support you do actually have to comply with the courts order to supply your financial information. I did it. You should too. You're now... oh, 7 months past the original due date and you've missing additional due dates. Get it together!

Ginlyn0

WTF BD, I realize that DD was most likely going to be at your mom's most of your month (like usual) but really, you couldn't call yourself to say that you weren't going to be meeting me tonight to exchange. Instead you have your mom call me and say she has DD and would really like to meet me at my parent's house (5 mins from her)???  And WHERE is your other DD all this time while DD is at your mom's? Oh, yeah at home. Way to be fair. And I thought we were past your momma making phone calls for you.

bebe11

WTF ex-husband.  You get DD every single Wed, yet you schedule meeting in the evening with for your girlfriend's daughter's soccer team on the one night of the week that have her.  I swear this man's world revolves around this girls soccer team.  Then DD doesn't bring her phone, so you are going to drive her all the way home so she can pick it up, so I don't have to call your home phone or your girlfriends phone when I arrive outside of your apartment tomorrow to pick DD up (I am not allowed to go to the apartment door.. lol).  This man's gf is so freaking insecure and jealous it is laughable.

4luvof2boys

WTF DH, you say weekly counseling isn't helping much.  Well talking for an hour and checking the block does not get it done.  You haven't done a single piece of work that you were given to do outside of therapy.  You can't just talk once a week and expect change.  You have to do the freaking work.  We are paying a lot of money for you to wishy washy around with this.  Like the Nike commercials say...Just Do It!  I am also sick of the "were so busy" excuses.  I promise life is about to get much busier for you when I'm not there and you are taking care of everything by your damn self.  We are good friends and good roommates but you are supposed be my HUSBAND!  If I wanted to go months without affection or sex I can do that ALL BY MY F'ING SELF!!!

TMI - but I had to get that off my chest.  I'm sure it would be a very inappropriate FB post.  Thanks to the anonymous ladies of BF board.

CFjo2010

WTF BM?  So you couldn't take K to her dentist appt, and you haven't called to reschedule it, but you've been taking her to Disneyland all week and going to Sea World today and tomorrow?  What the hell?!  I'm genuinely glad that you're taking K to do things instead of just having her sit around the house watching TV all day.  I really am.  But get your effing priorities straight and do some of the hard stuff that parents have to do.  Wake your ass up before 10 a.m., get K to an appt at 8 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day having fun.  I'm able to do it and I have an infant and 2 other kids to juggle.

WTF DS?  Quit blowing through our data plan.  You're with DC, pretend to have fun and get off your damn phone.  You have used more than double DH and I combined in the last week.  You're killing me Smalls.

WTF District PTA Auditor?  You're awful to deal with and I loathe you.  We gave you our audit crap back in frigging February/March and you sat on it for how many months?  Now we're way passed the deadline and you only now are communicating with us that stuff is missing and we need to get it to you ASAP?  FFS Lady, it's 2 weeks before school starts and we need our financial stuff back.  You seriously effing suck.

CurlieWhirlie

jobalchak said:

WTF District PTA Auditor?  You're awful to deal with and I loathe you.  We gave you our audit crap back in frigging February/March and you sat on it for how many months?  Now we're way passed the deadline and you only now are communicating with us that stuff is missing and we need to get it to you ASAP?  FFS Lady, it's 2 weeks before school starts and we need our financial stuff back.  You seriously effing suck.

Oh man, Jo, I totally feel you. I deal with auditors in my job all the time, and it can be so frustrating — I can't imagine having to deal with them for PTA stuff that you aren't even getting paid for! Blergh.

CFjo2010

bebe11 said:

WTF ex-husband.  You get DD every single Wed, yet you schedule meeting in the evening with for your girlfriend's daughter's soccer team on the one night of the week that have her.  I swear this man's world revolves around this girls soccer team.  Then DD doesn't bring her phone, so you are going to drive her all the way home so she can pick it up, so I don't have to call your home phone or your girlfriends phone when I arrive outside of your apartment tomorrow to pick DD up (I am not allowed to go to the apartment door.. lol).  This man's gf is so freaking insecure and jealous it is laughable.

Seriously?  You aren't "allowed" to go to the door?   8-|

I can't believe the stupidity there.

CFjo2010

4luvof2boys said:

WTF DH, you say weekly counseling isn't helping much.  Well talking for an hour and checking the block does not get it done.  You haven't done a single piece of work that you were given to do outside of therapy.  You can't just talk once a week and expect change.  You have to do the freaking work.  We are paying a lot of money for you to wishy washy around with this.  Like the Nike commercials say...Just Do It!  I am also sick of the "were so busy" excuses.  I promise life is about to get much busier for you when I'm not there and you are taking care of everything by your damn self.  We are good friends and good roommates but you are supposed be my HUSBAND!  If I wanted to go months without affection or sex I can do that ALL BY MY F'ING SELF!!!

TMI - but I had to get that off my chest.  I'm sure it would be a very inappropriate FB post.  Thanks to the anonymous ladies of BF board.

Unload as much as you need.  I seriously could have written this post myself.  Paying the $$ to see a therapist doesn't do anything.  Ya kinda have to do the work.  

I'm sorry DH isn't taking care of business.  *hugs*  

>:D<     <--- that right there, is apparently a hugging emoticon.. Awesomeness.

4luvof2boys

jobalchak said:

4luvof2boys said:

WTF DH, you say weekly counseling isn't helping much.  Well talking for an hour and checking the block does not get it done.  You haven't done a single piece of work that you were given to do outside of therapy.  You can't just talk once a week and expect change.  You have to do the freaking work.  We are paying a lot of money for you to wishy washy around with this.  Like the Nike commercials say...Just Do It!  I am also sick of the "were so busy" excuses.  I promise life is about to get much busier for you when I'm not there and you are taking care of everything by your damn self.  We are good friends and good roommates but you are supposed be my HUSBAND!  If I wanted to go months without affection or sex I can do that ALL BY MY F'ING SELF!!!

TMI - but I had to get that off my chest.  I'm sure it would be a very inappropriate FB post.  Thanks to the anonymous ladies of BF board.

Unload as much as you need.  I seriously could have written this post myself.  Paying the $$ to see a therapist doesn't do anything.  Ya kinda have to do the work.  

I'm sorry DH isn't taking care of business.  *hugs*  

>:D<     <--- that right there, is apparently a hugging emoticon.. Awesomeness.

Thanks for the hugs and support, Jo.  I don't know if it is sad or funny that I'm getting more affection from an emotion icon on an internet forum than in my own house. 

CFjo2010

@4luvof2boys: I vote funny.  I try and find a reason to laugh at anything that upsets me.  It kinda takes the edge off.

sweetwalks

WTF co worker. Aren't you a little old to be tattling & then running to your mama to get her to tattle for you when there aren't immediate results? All because you can't do your darn job so you want someone else in trouble to take the focus off you? Good thing I do my job consistently well. UGH.

WTF Consultant. I really thought you were a nice lady until you got your panties in a bunch because this company doesn't run like yours does and my answer wasn't good enough for you. You took it to Facebook and acted like a complete psycho B. I'm glad you gained your FedEx man as a customer, because you just lost quite a few.

Lavender P

jobalchak said:

@4luvof2boys: I vote funny.  I try and find a reason to laugh at anything that upsets me.  It kinda takes the edge off.

I vote funny too. You have to laugh or else you go crazy. It's a fact.

Seriously though, go get a babysitter and a bottle of wine and take advantage of your husband. If he doesn't want to play, tell him you'll play by yourself or find a friend.

sweetwalks

Lavender P said:

jobalchak said:

@4luvof2boys: I vote funny.  I try and find a reason to laugh at anything that upsets me.  It kinda takes the edge off.

I vote funny too. You have to laugh or else you go crazy. It's a fact.

Seriously though, go get a babysitter and a bottle of wine and take advantage of your husband. If he doesn't want to play, tell him you'll play by yourself or find a friend.

Haha! Love this advice!

4luvof2boys

You guys are really sweet and thank you.  I didn't realize it when we married (because typically signs don't show up until after you tie the knot) that DH has a condition called intimacy anorexia.  I'm sure this sounds ridiculous to some, but I assure you it is a very real disorder.  Like a food anorexic withholds food, an intimacy anorexic withholds intimacy (hugs, connecting, sex, etc.) to the extreme.

Case in point, we are lying in bed last Sunday morning, I give all the indications that it would be nice to be sexual.  Guys like it in the mornings right?  As soon as he sees where I'm going he jumps out of bed and says he has to go to Krogers right now.  What?!!  We both knew he didn't have to go to the grocery store right then...a perfect moment to ya know.  But none the less it doesn't stop him from saying so and running from the bedroom.

It has been a long and painful road.  I almost left last February but he swore he loves me and wants to go to counseling blah blah blah.  We have been in joint counseling and him in group therapy for five months and nothing is really changing or improving.  Mostly because he does not follow through with implementing anything that is suggested.  Even though he swears he is sick of living this way and wants to change.

Most men would react to wine, lingerie or other forms of seduction.  I assure you my DH is immune to all of them.  In fact, as soon as I start chasing him or seducing him he just shuts down even tighter.  I have flat out told him that I will not live in a loveless and sexless marriage but it doesn't result in anything.  About the time I have my foot out the door he throws me a bone.  We have been on this merry go round for long enough and after giving the counseling a try, I am honestly about done.  Not sure why I'm explaining to this level except maybe there is someone else out there who feels alone in this and doesn't know why their DH doesn't "love" them.

Intimacy anorexics are always too busy for intimacy, make tons of excuses and appear in public to be doting and loving - so it is hard to explain to people IRL.  Everyone thinks DH is "such a good man" which he is, however, they would never guess that at home he can go days with saying only about three sentences to me, weeks without hugs, and months without sex.  

We drove 6 hours to another state and 6 hours back for a wedding a few weeks ago.  Just as an experiment, I did not initiate conversation (and that is hard for me).    He answered when the kids spoke to him or asked him questions.  But during 12 hours in the car he did not say one single word to me except once he wanted to know if I needed to use the rest room.  Not to sound lame and I hate even saying it but honestly, if it weren't for my kids I would have left years ago.  

Thanks, again, for letting me get this out ladies.  I really feel after years of this I'm headed for a divorce.  Hopefully, an amicable one since we do see eye to eye on almost everything else.

Ilumine

WTF DH.  

Make up your mind on how you want me to interact with your son and then you.  You want me to not address him when he is in a bad mood, then don't turn around and tell me that I need to give him confirm said bad mood when I pick him up from work.  

And if I am supposed to tell you about his mood and what interactions we have had during the day, do not then tell me that I am stirring the pot with my updates.  

Oh and how about YOU don't fucking stir the pot when my updates then.  If I tell you that he was in a bad mood when I dropped him off (as evidenced by the not so pleasant conversation) but do not ask you to get in the middle (because he was in a bad mood, not disrespectful) of it, then don't push at him.  Because all that does is make him focus on ME as the bad guy. 

My fucking goal is to get him as ready as he can be so he doesn't come back.  That includes having him trust me just a little bit.  Every time you TRY to make it better between us you make it worse. 

WTF SS - why are you hung up with a 19 yo, divorced mother of 1 who is living off of her grandmother and working at McDonalds.  I am not saying that her life choices make her bad, but they also do not make her a good choice for. 

CFjo2010

@4luvof2boys, I am so sorry your marriage isn't fulfilling in the ways you need it to be.  Your story makes my heart ache, and I cannot imagine what it must feel like to have DH avoid intimacy.  Even though you know it has nothing to do with you, it still must hurt.

I will definitely be keeping you and DH in my thoughts and prayers.  Again, lots of hugs.

Lavender P

Oh honey! I am so sorry! I would never want to make light of something so serious and I appologize profusely. I really hope that you guys can work out your issues and I wish you the best of luck. You can always come here and share your story. I feel like an asshole for joking about it.

4luvof2boys

I appreciate the thoughts and prayers and @Lavender P please don't feel bad for teasing about something you had no idea about.  If it were the ordinary up and down in affection that all marriages go through your advice about a bottle of wine and going on the attack would be perfect.  So no one is an asshole.  I usually try to keep stuff on here just about my kids but today I'm just having a tough time.  I really value having a place to dump my feelings and thank you for the kinds words and encouragement.