First World Problem: Baby Shower Stress

megbpoff

Let me preface this as something I KNOW isn't a big deal comparatively but I'm so stressed out!

First off, DH is a professional actor and his hometown is Huntsville, Al. We are currently living in PA. To make a long story short (sort of), his childhood BF & wife wanted to host us a shower down there with old friends & DH's family.

One problem: DH is an actor and can't get out of his weekend shows: this is for the months of Sept. 3 - Nov. 3. We told them we could do a Monday evening bc DH doesn't work Mon/Tues. They said no... bc of their son's karate class, or camp, or even Columbus Day which they have off but CAN'T do since they are fundraising for the Republican National Convention (yet another time Repubs screwed us over...).

So...we are going ahead for Columbus Day but WE have to figure out a venue, a time... who can help us...I was a little put off that they suggested Nov. 10 a month before my due date. I'm not about to do long distance travel which is 24 hours in a car round trip. Flying is out of the question since we are taking a Uhaul to get nursery furniture back.

Anyway, I'm angry. It is dumb to offer something yet won't even move an inch bc of our conflict. I know this must make me seem spoiled or ungrateful...but you don't know how stressful it is to deal with these people.

I shouldn't have to plan for my own shower 500 miles away. This sucks...

frankierokx

Wow now that is a pickle! You should not be stressing over your own BS period.

Couldn't you arrange to do it sooner? Or stress that you can only do it on a Monday?

megbpoff

I can't do it sooner bc I was told, "that is too soon." Ridiculous!

frankierokx

That's bull! 

sameoldash

to be blunt, i think you should decline the offer. no way in hell would i travel that far away from home within a month of my due date. and in a car??? nope, no way, no how. it's just not worth it and you will most likely be miserable. 

sorry.

esf60

This is extremely annoying and a very easy problem to solve. No one should have to plan her own shower, especially when someone else has offered to host it.

There are way too many strings attached to this; it's actually more like a fake offer that makes the hosts feel good about themselves without them having to do any work.

Say thanks, but no thanks. Logistically it's just too complicated. Oh, and they suck. Another good reason to say no.

MelAnnDi

That really sucks. I would decline as well.

Are you going to get there and be expected to pay for it too? Not worth the stress or the long drive.

EmJacks0n

I've seen other people suggest a meet and greet after the baby is born. One of those parties might be a better option for you. I don't blame you one bit about not wanting to travel.

Ktrue85

These people are being selfish with their own schedules.  I'd tell them no thanks, and not really in a polite way.  Let them know that since they are being stubborn, you'd rather not have to inconvenience yourself or put yourself in an uncomfortable position for something that is supposed to be a gift and a pleasure for YOU.

megbpoff

Thanks everyone. We are moving forward without them. So I have no idea as to what the dates will be or if we're even having a shower down there...but we are done trying to accommodate them.

notkateanymore

I would just tell them no thank you about the shower. They don't truly seem interested in throwing it, so maybe letting everybody down easily will work best. Just take the trip to get the furniture when you can around your schedule.

notkateanymore

BTW, I would fly to Huntsville and rent a uHaul for the trip back. 

lp0

megbpoff said:

Thanks everyone. We are moving forward without them. So I have no idea as to what the dates will be or if we're even having a shower down there...but we are done trying to accommodate them.

So they aren't throwing the shower anymore then? You are throwing your own now? Honestly I'd walk away from the whole thing. Hosting your own shower is tacky.

margaerytyrell

Another vote for declining. That's way too much stress on you. Maybe another friend/family member with a more flexible schedule will offer to host one for you. Good luck!

megbpoff

No. We have politely declined. As far as still going to AL, I'm referring to getting the furniture REGARDLESS of the shower. I'm not that daffy to host my own baby shower 500 miles away. It is tacky. However, knowing our southern friends, word will spread like wildfire that we're no longer having one and someone else may offer. We need to settle on a date in case they do.

MamaHanna

Ugh, why are showers always such a hot mess? They are supposed to be fun for you and they always end up just being another cause of stress!

jkolber10

sameoldash said:

to be blunt, i think you should decline the offer. no way in hell would i travel that far away from home within a month of my due date. and in a car??? nope, no way, no how. it's just not worth it and you will most likely be miserable. 

sorry.

This.  Exactly. Say no.  Maybe they will see the error of their ways and loosen up a little.

AFII

Also having baby shower stress. At this point, I have no idea if someone is throwing one for us or not. One side of the family wanted it in their city (2hrs from me), which would exclude the other side of the family (3hrs plus away). I only had one free weekend due to my work schedule and its less then a month before due date. Everyone stressed me out so much that I said pass. Next thing ya know, I hear about a possible new shower from another person.
It's become more of a thing for the hosts then the baby.

megbpoff

Well...guess what? My sisters in laws were already offended bc they weren't included in the shower (southerners, I tell you). But it all worked out, my sister in laws are now hosting it & it is probably better for everyone. That was just one more conflict we didn't need...so glad we declined on the first offer. Now I can breathe (sort of, anyone else congested?)

lrobb004

megbpoff said:

I can't do it sooner bc I was told, "that is too soon." Ridiculous!

That's insane. I'm having mine in August because it's the only time my sister and I will both be in GA. It's really early, but the only other time she'll be there is thanksgiving and I can't travel from TX to GA then. This is the only time my family will be able to see me during the pregnancy. Early is better than none or stress! I'm sorry, that just sucks...