22 Months today

Heatherhah

She left us. Where has the time gone I have no clue !! How have I been able to breath without her here is a crazy thought to me. I miss her so much. My rainbow looks so much like her it is like they could have been twins. Almost Irish twins. This second year has been hard leading up to the 2 year mark. I am not pregnant and obsessing about our rainbow so things are much more clear good or bad I don't know. It just seems to hurt more these days. I hope I am not making others worried as this is just my journey not everyone will feel as I do. I miss her and I think always about what she would be doing and how she would look. I know that is normal others don't understand this pain I share with all of you ladies!! Now some days aren't always this sad for me I smile often thinking about my her.  But the 30th of each month hits harder than any other day! DH doesn't mention her much and that sucks he tends to say something once in a while about her. Everyone else has moved forward with their lives but I sit here still missing a piece of my heart always everyday!!!

Heather 

fluttergirlmoonchild79

***siggy warning***

 

I feel like I could have written the same thing.  I keep having these feelings of "this shouldn't be" or "this should be" etc.  I'm a little over a year and half out but I know the feeling and I have a feeling the 2 year point will be more difficult than the 1 year, especially since Corbin's little sister will be here then. 

 

Huge {{HUGS}} sweetie.  Just remember, it's ok to not be ok.

Noethola

Heather, thinking of you often. You are a source of inspiration and encouragement to so many of us.

It is so hard when others have moved on, when every memory of their existence is still so vivid and fresh in our minds. All the years we thought we would have to think about them, hold them and dream with them. 

Your rainbow baby will never take away the ache of the baby you lost. I dont see how it could. They are separate beings, even if they are a source of hope and comfort. Thank you for being real, sharing how hard things still are at times. Big hugs today and always.

shandorfml2

I feel the same, though I am still 'new' on my grief journey at 5 months. I hope I will be pregnant with my rainbow soon. This in between period is so, so difficult. The new baby won't replace Ana, but I need that light at the end of the tunnel.

Heatherhah

So true ladies my rainbow Trinity is amazing and I know for my family ex. my mom, dad and siblings they see her as being a wonderful kind of distraction not that they have ever said it but I know they think it often. She is another addition to a family missing another little girl she will never know.

I know last year being pregnant I kept very distant from my pregnancy I mean I prayed she was healthy and came home with us but I always waitied for the other shoe to drop and hellll I still do now and she is 8 months old. It isn't easy but it is my life and it will be all of yours as well.  

Thank you Noethola, I am always here if anyone needs any help during this challenging time I am here as proof life moves forward whether we want it to or not.

Hugs ladies!!!

Heather

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BrittianyM

Sending thoughts & prayers your way. *hugs*

tuscanbride2007

Thinking of you.

((HUGS))

OSUWifey09

***SIGGY/pg mentioned***


Sending lots of hugs, Ts and Ps your way. You're definitely a source of inspiration for me as I go through my rainbow pregnancy - you're proof that life goes on, no matter how hard it is. I appreciate you being a part of this board and being there for us; you are amazing and so strong.

We're nearing the one-year mark, and I can't believe we're near such a huge milestone. Even though I'm focusing on this pregnancy, I still think [all the time] about where Devon would be with his milestones, how our family would be with him in it. I miss him so much, and I know I always will - even with new baby girl on the way. Thinking of you, Heather.

hopefulmom88

My thoughts and prayers are with you.  I'm only 2.5 months from my loss but I find myself wondering the same things, what would she be able to do now and what would she look like.  My DH never mentions her either and I feel like all I do is think about her.  I guess it is a mother's pain....

Dixon813

hopefulmom88 said:

My thoughts and prayers are with you.  I'm only 2.5 months from my loss but I find myself wondering the same things, what would she be able to do now and what would she look like.  My DH never mentions her either and I feel like all I do is think about her.  I guess it is a mother's pain....

This.

Whenever I'm around other kids (nieces, nephews, etc.) I constantly think "ours will never have a ___ birthday" or "ours will never have a first day of school" etc... And those moments just suck! 

princezjk

So many (((((hugs)))))

Heatherhah

Thank you ladies I am in great company!! I am always here for any of you if and when you need me. Through this journey I have really meet some amazing ladies who just get me in ways no one else ever will.

Hugs right back at ya!!!

meli1025

((HUGS)) Heather.  Thinking about you today.  It does make sense that things are clearer now that you are not TTCAL.  I was actually wondering if next year will be easier than this year but I am in the stage right now where I'm obsessing over successfully conceiving our rainbow.  I even look back at the past ten months and don't know how I made it this far, it's all one big blur of time.