Homeless BD

Gamera3000

I'm surprise pregnant with my long term friends baby. We were together for two weeks. I broke up with him right after conception because he was homeless, using heroin (and other drugs), drinking heavily, and he wouldn't stop talking about another girl. Im a grad student with a very regular kind of life and the stuff he does scares me. Now he's trying to demand being there for the appointments and full status as a co-parent. Ive just cut off contact with him. He refuses to recognize that his lifestyle isn't okay. My friends tell me he's not in a position to have any power over me or my baby but I'm still scared to death.

ktedmon

I understand. I didn't know until after breaking up with BD that he was a registered sex offender. he tried to tell me that I already knew when we got together, but it was the gf after me that told me. He's a user and I want nothing to do with him. he tries to contact me, but I finally blocked him on fb and when he is in town (he lives out of state), he asks about appointments and such, but even if I had them while he was around, I wouldn't ask him to come. He doesn't take care of his other kids, he hasn't been there for this one so far, so why let him join in now, etc. I won't let him be involved much with his child because I don't like the way he used me or the fact that he doesn't care for his kids and he's just not the person I thought he was. Good luck and this is a great place to vent and get support. The ladies on this board are wonderful!

Gamera3000

Thanks ktedmon! I feel better about following my protective instincts knowing you're feeling the same way.

tracy41

My advice would be to start documenting his drug use now. It would really help if he'd been arrested. The court is funny about anecdotal evidence because people make stuff up all the time. The more proof you have that he would not be a fit parent the better off you'll be for your custody hearing. And you might want to talk to him about what his plans are as far as wanting time with the baby, that way you know what you're up against.

Gamera3000

That's a good idea. I'll save his text messages where he talked about using. I don't know how else I'd document it.

EarthandFire

Try not to put his name on the birth certificate if you can. This will keep him from having any legal right at the beginning. He'll have to prove he's the father first. If he takes you to court you can't stop him from seeing his child after the baby is born unless you can prove its in the child's best interest. What your looking for is any irrefutable evidence that he's a danger to the child. You may also be able to request a drug test but only a lawyer would know that.

Gamera3000

Thanks earthandfire those were good suggestions! I'm gonna get a lawyer if he acts up legal wise. I got my first ultrasound today and now I'm 100% sure it's his.

EarthandFire

I'm glad they were helpful. If someone else doesn't have to go through what I have I'll do what I can.