Third-Party Reproduction


DH and I are torn on what we want to do. We have two blasts that are being donated by a couple at my local doctor's office, and we have to decide by tomorrow if we want to use them. We talked last night - and DH is worried about the physical and emotional toll it takes on me, and the emotional toll on him because after 6.5 years it doesn't get any easier, ever! The last cycle, we were so hopeful, and while yes I did get 'a little bit pregnant' it didn't stick and it was a really rough week that followed. Last time they were embryos, but I don't really think they were the best grade, and we traveled for the cycle, this time we are doing everything locally, and looking at blasts, 4BB and 5AB. (Those are good, right?)

This is the first time we've ever been completely torn 50/50 on a decision. I want to do it, but then I don't. DH feels the same way. This will be our last chance, if it works great. If it doesn't work, we are done, done, done. We said last night that we'd sleep on it, we did. And I'm still torn but leaning towards giving it one last try.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here, but I just needed to share the emotional see-saw that I'm on right now. Thanks for letting me share.

SAIF/PAIF absolutely ALWAYS welcome to respond!

Re: Torn...

  • ((HUGS)) These decisions are never easy and they do take and emotional toll on all of us. So do what you feel is right and if it doesn't feel right yet, then another cycle will happen when your ready to move ahead. Good Luck!

    April 2013 DE IVF= BFN

    September 2013 DE IVF (Fingers Crossed) = BFFFN! again...

    October 2013 FET of our last 2 = Beta Hellzz for 6-7 Weeks. M/C

  • I think decision making throughout this process can sometimes be the hardest parts. Big hugs! Everyone is different in how they decide, but one thing I've learned is that for me it's easier to know I tried and failed than to wonder if I missed out on an opportunity. I wish you loads of luck in your decision. Keep us posted. *hugs*

    ************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
    Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
    Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
    DH: Severe MFI

    12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
    8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
    My ovaries are just for decoration

    12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
    2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
    2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
    3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

    6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
    9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
    9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
    9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

    11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
    11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
    Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
    6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

    Snowflake baby is a girl! 
    Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014! 
    My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
        image      image 
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  • ((hugs)).  This whole process is so difficult.

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Km672Km672 member
    I'm so sorry. These decisions are hard. It's hard to protect yourself and be hopeful.

    If it were me, I'd go for it. I know it's easy for me to say and I'm not in the same position as you, but I wound always wonder What if?

    If it doesn't work, would you regret trying one more time?

    Me (32) DOR, elevated NK Cells/ 2 copies of MTHFR mutation/ MH (35) azoo/high DFI   (TTC#1 since 2009)

    IVFs#1-4: (4/10-2/12) all BFN

    Surprise Bfp (9/11) - c/p

    DS IUI#1-2 (9/12, 10/12) - BFN

    DS IVF: (11/12) - BFN

    DE/DS IVF#1: (10/13) - 2 day 3 embies transferred-BFFN

    FET of 2 day 6 blasts: (12/13) - c/p

    DE/DS IVF #2: (4/14) - 1 day 5 blast transferred...BFFN...again.

    FET 5/14: 1 day 5 hatching blast transferred...another BFFN

    Repeat SHG 6/14-normal / Endometrial Receptivity Array biopsy 7/14-Receptive Uterus

    New RE, additional testing reveals elevated NK Cells

    FET of 1 day 5 blast (RE recommends transferring 1 due to elevated NK cells) with lovenox, steroids & intralipids in October




  • I have to agree with Km... I think you'll regret the things that you didn't more than the things you did. I'm sure it's going to be super hard, so make sure that you have a strong support network in place. ((Hugs))
  • All of what moonaggie said. Good luck to you and I'm sure this is not an easy decision. If it was me and we were ok on the $ aspect of it then I would have to try. Regretting it would probably consume me for the rest of my life. Hugs.

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!



         image   imageimage

  • Thanks so much ladies. I'm sorry, I didn't get to respond sooner because internet was out. I have a feeling we'll make our final decision tonight, and the more I think about it, the more I want to give it one last try. We agreed that if we got the call before the end of this year (December), we would try it one last time, so this is that one last time.

    May I also add that - the day we got the call from the doctor was the day before the 15th anniversary of our first date? That's got to count for something, right?

    I'll keep you posted, and again, thank you!

    SAIF/PAIF absolutely ALWAYS welcome to respond!
  • Know that we are all here to be your cheerleaders as you move forward with these two great looking embryos!!  GL and let us know when you will be able to transfer.


    TTC since 10/09 Me-43 DH-44 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN Planning DE IVF, late March/early April- Donors ER expected to be 4/2-4/4. PAIF/SAIF welcome
  • Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they say.  Unless your gut is telling you otherwise, I say go for it.
  • Whatever you decide to do we will be here for ya to listen and give support!! Good luck in whatever you do!!!
    Me 34 and DH 39 married in aug. 2002
    Did 5 round of clomid 2010 =BFN
     High levels of NK CELLS DX sept.2012 DOR:# 0.02 
    IVF #1 May 2012  ER 4, EF 2, ET 2 =BFN
    MINI IVF Oct.2012  Cancelled 10-27-12
    Ivf #3 Antagonist Protocol April 2013
    Shared cycle..Donor cycled in July Got 12 eggs 9 fertilized and 8 frozen!!
    DE FET #1 Sept. 3rd 2013 FIRST BFP EVER 5dp5dt
    miscarried Sept 24th at 5 weeks 5 days
    Etopic  D&C and hysterscopy Nov 5 2013
    dx with pre genetic blood clotting dec 2013
    FET #2 Jan 31st  2014 
    Miscarried for a second time again at 5 weeks 5 days
    Currently fostering to adopt an amazing little 1 year old boy..P.J!
    FET#3  is Oct 29th 2014
    BFN on fet #3
    Last and FINAL FET coming JAN 28th 2015
    Everyone Welcome

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