DH in Hospital - WWYD about work?

*sparky*

DH is in the hospital with a bad infection and will be there for at least 2-3 days on IV antibiotics.  We were on vacation last week and this is a busy week for me at work.  DS is very sensitive to DH being in the hospital due to a bad fall two years ago that left him in he ICU for 5 days and then home recouperating for another 10 weeks or so, so he is very upset and wants to see DH.  I didn't get home from the hospital until 12:30 and then DS woke up at 1:30 with horrible leg pain and I was up with him for an hour.

So I was planning to skip work today and visit DH with DS.  I am undecided about tomorrow at this point.  DH keeps telling me I should just go to work and we can visit him in the evening but I can't imagine just letting him sit in the hospital all day while I am in the office.  And I would hope that if I were in the hospital he would not just go off to work as always.

So WWYD if it were your DH? 

kelly422

I'd skip work. 

FemShep

I'd skip work.  Think about whether, 10 months or 10 years from now, those days in the office will really matter.

*sparky*

I know you are right.  DH just keeps making me feel like I should be going into work.  I know he feels bad about me having to miss because he is sick but there is no way I would do that. 

costa2011

If you qualify for FMLA this is a protected incident under the act.

*sparky*

costa2011 said:

If you qualify for FMLA this is a protected incident under the act.

Good point - I did not even think about that.  I do qualify for FMLA.

kristennd

I'd go in to work and I'd sincerely encourage DH to do the same if I were the one in the hospital, but I also know DH would genuinely enjoy the 'break' of sitting all day catching up on reading, RSS feeds, etc. He wouldn't get bored or resentful because he never gets enough alone time right now. So it all depends on the personalities involved. My office is also two blocks from our hospital, so it would be easy to change plans mid-day.

Well, I'd actually have to stay home because DH is a SAHD. But if we had childcare...

jnnfrrose6

Can you take a half day?  That way you can stay on top of the priorities at work, but still see DH.  Maybe go at lunch and bring a picnic for the family to eat in the hospital (that'd be a nice break from the hospital food, I'm sure!)

*sparky*

DH can't eat anything so no bringing him food in the hospital.  I have just under a one-hour commute to work and then to come home and get DS and go to the hospital would be an hour and a half because of where the hospital is in relation to home/work.  So if I went in for 3-4 hours I would end up driving 2.5 hours. 

ETA: I do have a laptop and connectivity from home so I am able to do some things here at the house this morning.  Hospital visiting hours are not until 12.

jnnfrrose6

Well those factors change everything.  Do what you can from home and look into FMLA if you don't have the sick time/vacation left (FMLA won't be paid, but you won't lose your job).

Mjmksb04

For something like this that does not appear to be life threatening and he sounds like he is being monitored, I would go to work tomorrow and save the vacation day for if he needs anything once he is discharged. He will be in good hands at the hospital and can entertain himself by watching TV or reading.

*sparky*

jnnfrrose6 said:

Well those factors change everything.  Do what you can from home and look into FMLA if you don't have the sick time/vacation left (FMLA won't be paid, but you won't lose your job).

Sadly, the hospital near our house is horrible so DH is about 25 miles away which is a little inconvenient for quick visits.  My job is nowhere near the hospital either. 

I am salaried so hopefully I will just get paid my normal pay as long as I can accomplish what I need to from home today/tomorrow.  I will decide later today if I will be going in tomorrow.

*sparky*

Mjmksb04 said:

For something like this that does not appear to be life threatening and he sounds like he is being monitored, I would go to work tomorrow and save the vacation day for if he needs anything once he is discharged. He will be in good hands at the hospital and can entertain himself by watching TV or reading.

I may do that, once I see how he is doing today and get him some things that he will want/need at the hospital like his laptop, books, etc.

2chatter

I would work from the hospital, it's what I usually do when my Dad is there.  When I had tests when I was pregnant with DS, I did some jailbreak thing on DH's iphone and paid $20 for a wifi hotspot app.  It totally rocks, way better than the hospital wifi.

jc&cat

Do what you can and don't overtire yourself! Work isn't going anywhere. Check your FMLA options and then hopefully you have an understanding workplace that realizes that stuff like this happens. Work from the hospital if you really need to in order to keep connected or check a few emails. Honestly, the PP who said these days in the office won't matter later on in life is right IMO.

Take care of you and your lo and good luck with your DH!

Mustardseed2007

Mjmksb04 said:

For something like this that does not appear to be life threatening and he sounds like he is being monitored, I would go to work tomorrow and save the vacation day for if he needs anything once he is discharged. He will be in good hands at the hospital and can entertain himself by watching TV or reading.

Yeah this is what I would do too.

jnealet

If it were me, I would want to be alone in the hospital.  I wouldn't want DH there bothering me to get better faster. 

 

Honestly, as long as he was stable and moving toward recovery, I would leave DH in the hospital and bring our girls to visit in the evenings.  I would either go to work or work from home. 

atrinh11

I think if I were in this situation, I would be completely useless if I went to work. I get distracted pretty easily, so I could try going to the office, but knowing me, it would be a waste of everyone's time. I would just do what you are most comfortable with.

*sparky*

I ended up not going to work and took DS to see DH.  It was good that we did - we ended up staying about three hours and it really cheered DH up.  He is better and may be out tomorrow but is waiting for the doctor to see him again.  I emailed my two bosses early this morning that DH was in the hospital and I would not be in and neither one answered me at all.  I did hear from them later in the day with work-related emails.  So I would guess they are PO'd about it, otherwise I would have at least gotten a "sorry to hear that" note back.  With any luck they will fire me tomorrow.

Mustardseed2007

what j e r k s

*sparky*

EAMartin1004 said:

*sparky* said:

I ended up not going to work and took DS to see DH.  It was good that we did - we ended up staying about three hours and it really cheered DH up.  He is better and may be out tomorrow but is waiting for the doctor to see him again.  I emailed my two bosses early this morning that DH was in the hospital and I would not be in and neither one answered me at all.  I did hear from them later in the day with work-related emails.  So I would guess they are PO'd about it, otherwise I would have at least gotten a "sorry to hear that" note back.  With any luck they will fire me tomorrow.

Wow- that would piss me off. Nothing is more important than family. I think it's time to start job hunting.

I would love to quit.  I really don't like this job.  But I only work three days/week which is hard to find so I am sticking it out as long as possible.