Book request for shower, tacky?? — The Bump
October 2013 Moms

Book request for shower, tacky??

My aunts are throwing my shower and want to send out book requests with the invites. If you haven't heard of this its a little poem asking for books for baby instead of cards and having guests sign and/or put a little message in the books. Although secretly I would love all the books for baby, I think it's sorta rude to ask for books like that. How do you feel about this? I told my aunts I wasn't really comfortable with it but I'd think about it!
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Re: Book request for shower, tacky??

  • AjoydAjoyd member
    I've been asked to do this for a shower before and it never struck me as rude or tacky. I think it's a cute way to start baby's library. I usually buy a book to go with my gift anyway.


    Married my love 8-25-12 TTC #1 September 2012. BFP 2-2-13. DS born 10-16-13.
    TTC #2 in December 2014. BFP 12-31-14. Expecting a September baby!
  • Inn2Inn2 member
    edited July 2013
    The baby shower board seems to feel anything like this is tacky. Personally, I think it is a cute idea, although, you could end up with a lot of the same books.
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  • My invite included that request. I don't think it's tacky because what are you going to do with the card?-end up throwing it away!! A book is something that will get as much use/appreciation as the actual gift. That's just my opinion, I'm not a big card person though!
  • Eh I have mixed feelings about it. I went to a shower where they had the little poem asking for a book, then another poem asking also for a pack of diapers and STILL the couples registry website... My mom wanted to do the book thing for me and I declined because I hate making people feel like they have to buy something specific, but I did add a few books I wanted to my registry! I thought that was a compromise!

    Sawyer Lynn <3 Born 10.11.13

    kimbo1216
  • Apparently my SIL requested diapers on my surprise showers invite. No one obliged lol. I think it's tacky to ask for specific gifts, but this "book instead of card" trend is, well, trendy, and it's a cute idea. I would much rather give a book with a heartfelt note for the family to have forever than a card that will be tossed.

  • allymp13allymp13 member
    edited July 2013
    Personally, I. wouldn't do or not do anything according to what the baby shower board thinks.

    I Like the idea. cards can be expensive and I'd rather have a book to keep with something written in it rather than a card I will most likely throw away.

       

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  • People have strong opinions on this. Beware of the baby shower board. They flame this hard.

    I have been to a shower where they did this and I thought it was a great idea. I think my sister may be doing this for mine but I am not sure. She's top secret. She just keeps telling me I need more book shelves.

    For me I'd much rather buy a book that is useful than a card that will be thrown out. The average card is like $3 or $4 bucks? And the nice ones are like $6! You could totally get a book for the same price. Especially a gently used one. 

  • I don't like the idea of making any guests feel like they need to buy anything on top of a gift. I wouldn't necessarily side eye anyone who did use this idea. Everyone is entitled to what they want for their own shower

    The only thing that would concern me is getting multiples of the same books. You can't exchange them once they've been written in and personalized and how many copies of goodnight moon can one person really have.
  • Cards and books are pretty even in price. When they request a book from me, I feel so much better spending money on that than a stupid card that will be thrown away. I HATE buying wrapping paper and cards so that might be a personal thing for me.

    I think it's an awesome idea.
    kellyk17Jeannefarias
  • I haven't heard of this, but sounds like an awesome idea.
  • Wino0920 said:
    And I find it weird that people think so highly of the baby shower board? Who exactly are these people and why would you care what they think.
    I def don't. They are just super negative over there so I like to warn people (especially newbies) that unless you want your feelings hurt they should prob stay away. Same thing with the baby name board. I feel like the BMBs are more supportive cause we have some connections with each other. Less random stranger drive bys. I watched the name Fox get flamed so hard on the baby name board (posted by a Nov mom) and when I posted the same name on our Oct board everyone was supportive. Just a different vibe.
    Wino0920[Deleted User]
  • I've been asked to do this for a few showers I've attended.  IMO it's not a big deal or a big expense, and it's a great way to encourage a child to read. 

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    tmccord21
  • I think it's a great idea and if people don't want to get your kid a book they are not obliged. If I received an invitation asking me to bring a book, I would do it without second thought. Children's books are so beautiful! I received a few books at my recent surprise baby shower and I love each and every one of them. Not everyone brought a separate book, they just all pitched in and bought a few books that are special (this was a work shower). 

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  • i don't think it's tacky at all, it's giving the baby an inexpensive, personalized thing they can keep pretty much forever.   and if they gift giver doesn't want to do it, they don't HAVE to. it's merely a suggestion for something incredibly inexpensive.  what on earth does the baby shower board think is weird about this? what weirdos.

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    tmccord21yesthisiskim0401jen-and-ryon
  • I think this idea is really neat. I have never been to a shower with this before but I think it's a really cute idea. The baby will look at the books and actually use them. The cards, that are ridiculously expensive these days, are going to be put in a box and forgotten.

  • I'm not opposed to the books, just the writing in them. Only because what do you do when the kid out grows them? We have a few books from when I was a kid, but not many.
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  • PhalaenopsisPhalaenopsis member
    edited July 2013
    i don't think it's tacky at all, it's giving the baby an inexpensive, personalized thing they can keep pretty much forever.   and if they gift giver doesn't want to do it, they don't HAVE to. it's merely a suggestion for something incredibly inexpensive.  what on earth does the baby shower board think is weird about this? what weirdos.
    Maybe they are just cheap? Haha. If they don't like the shower so much, they should just decline the invitation. This would be a much more polite route rather than complaining all the time. 

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  • I agree with PP who said it is practically the same cost as a card and much more useful and fun to buy. Children's books are one of my favorite things so I love buying books for kids anyway. I dropped a hint to my mom, who is throwing my shower, that I thought it was a cute idea. I don't really think she agreed because she didn't do that. A little sad about that, but definitely not complaining. Anyway, it is a super cute idea and if someone just really doesn't want to get a book they don't have to and I really don't think anyone will throw them out of the party. 
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  • Cute idea, But you may end up with a lot of the same books that you can't return because they are signed. How. May copies of I love you forever do you need?
  • I had a large shower and only received a couple of duplicates. Not a big deal at all.
  • Cute idea, But you may end up with a lot of the same books that you can't return because they are signed. How. May copies of I love you forever do you need?
    This is true but you can always donate the multiple copies to a woman's shelter or something. I would feel pretty good about myself if I was able to do that. 

    Also I don't know if this is just me but when I gave a book as requested at a shower I went and found a book that I loved that I knew no one else would give. image
    It's a true story about 2 male penguins in the central park zoo that "adopt" and raise an egg to a chick. Best story ever! 
    [Deleted User]layali
  • I think it's cute! Not tacky :)
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  • I think books are requested for my shower. I think it's a cute idea :)
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  • I don't think iys necessarily tacky. .. but honestly, I hate it when I get invites like that. I would spend 3 on a card and much more on a book as I'm not about to buy a cheap crappy book. If im going to buy a book it will be a good one that is probably much more costly..I will certainly spend less on the actual gift when that request is made..... or I simply don't comply with the request....
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  • If you're feeling iffy about this, I saw somewhere someone suggested that YOU (or your mom/host, whatever) buy a copy of your favorite book and  have everyone who attends the party sign it on the interior blank pages. I thought that was kind of a neat idea as well.
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    [Deleted User]Alexandrapyesthisiskim0401
  • I don't think this is tacky at all.  The last few baby showers I've been to, the invitations have included this "book request poem in lieu of a card."  I think it's a great idea (I'm really into getting kids reading early in life) and I normally buy a book to go with the present anyway. 

     

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  • I don't see it as a big deal. I would spend at least 3 dollars on a card and you can get a great Boynton board book for 5. You don't have to buy a 17 dollar hardback. The shower I went to where they did this only had a couple duplicates. And honestly some of our books are so well loved, it's nice to have more than one Very Hungry Caterpillar.
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  • I'm kind of neutral on this one. I went to a shower a few years ago where they asked that " instead of cute wrappings, ribbons, and bows, bring baby a book to read as he grows". Well I'm not going to bring a naked present or wrap it in a trash bag with duct tape, so it was really asking for an "extra" gift. As grad student at the time, it looked like more cost when I didn't have any extra cash floating around. However, I found a cute baby book at a discount store for $3 and happily gave that, so it worked out in the end.
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  • I think it's fine. You can go to TJMaxx or similar stores and find adorable board books for 3-4 bucks. Much more useful than a card. Wouldn't worry too much about duplicates, DS has used some books to teeth on, some end up as "car" or "diaper bag" books so it isn't the end of the world if you have 2 copies of one book. Or as PP suggested, donate the duplicates.
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  • I have been to a shower and had been requested to bring a book. I thought it was a great idea. I hate picking out cards and paying $4 for one. I mean really, the person recieving the card spends what 2 second opening and reading it. When a book will last years.

    Me (32) DH (33)
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  • My mom is sending out a poem in my shower invites for people to bring a book instead of a card. And she is also putting in there to bring a pack of diapers to be entered into a raffle for a really nice prize. That's become quite the trend in my neck of the woods!

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  • My mom is sending out a poem in my shower invites for people to bring a book instead of a card. And she is also putting in there to bring a pack of diapers to be entered into a raffle for a really nice prize. That's become quite the trend in my neck of the woods!
    That may be the trend, but it would annoy me that I was being asked for a gift, a book, AND diapers.  Not cool.
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  • huntjul said:



    My mom is sending out a poem in my shower invites for people to bring a book instead of a card. And she is also putting in there to bring a pack of diapers to be entered into a raffle for a really nice prize. That's become quite the trend in my neck of the woods!

    That may be the trend, but it would annoy me that I was being asked for a gift, a book, AND diapers.  Not cool.

    Neither one are mandatory so if they don't want to participate then they dont have to! :)

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  • My mom is sending out a poem in my shower invites for people to bring a book instead of a card. And she is also putting in there to bring a pack of diapers to be entered into a raffle for a really nice prize. That's become quite the trend in my neck of the woods!
    That may be the trend, but it would annoy me that I was being asked for a gift, a book, AND diapers.  Not cool.
    Neither one are mandatory so if they don't want to participate then they dont have to! :)
    I understand they may not be mandatory, but you are asking for all of those things, which to me (and probably at least some of your guests) comes off as gift grabby.
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  • i don't think it's tacky at all, it's giving the baby an inexpensive, personalized thing they can keep pretty much forever.   and if they gift giver doesn't want to do it, they don't HAVE to. it's merely a suggestion for something incredibly inexpensive.  what on earth does the baby shower board think is weird about this? what weirdos.
    Yes this - if you don't want to do it, it's not like there's someone at the door saying "no book??, sorry you're not on the list".  I think it's a clever idea because I hate spending $5 on a card that's going to get thrown out.
     



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  • tmccord21 said:
    Wino0920 said:
    And I find it weird that people think so highly of the baby shower board? Who exactly are these people and why would you care what they think.
    I def don't. They are just super negative over there so I like to warn people (especially newbies) that unless you want your feelings hurt they should prob stay away. Same thing with the baby name board. I feel like the BMBs are more supportive cause we have some connections with each other. Less random stranger drive bys. I watched the name Fox get flamed so hard on the baby name board (posted by a Nov mom) and when I posted the same name on our Oct board everyone was supportive. Just a different vibe.
    I haven't even ventured over to those two boards. I stick to Oct., Special Needs, and Military Families. Everyone on these boards has been super supportive and helpful and fun to talk to. 
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  • tmccord21 said:
    Wino0920 said:
    And I find it weird that people think so highly of the baby shower board? Who exactly are these people and why would you care what they think.
    I def don't. They are just super negative over there so I like to warn people (especially newbies) that unless you want your feelings hurt they should prob stay away. Same thing with the baby name board. I feel like the BMBs are more supportive cause we have some connections with each other. Less random stranger drive bys. I watched the name Fox get flamed so hard on the baby name board (posted by a Nov mom) and when I posted the same name on our Oct board everyone was supportive. Just a different vibe.
    I haven't even ventured over to those two boards. I stick to Oct., Special Needs, and Military Families. Everyone on these boards has been super supportive and helpful and fun to talk to. 
    I just went on that board to see what that's all about - and geez, they do take issue with the books thing...the funny part is that it seemed like most posters didn't even have a ticker so probably aren't preggers and one even had a "the knot" ticker.  No thanks, I'll stick to our October board :)
     



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  • Almost every baby shower invite I've received in the past 3 years had that on it.. Not rude at all, it's fun to see the cute books people pick, and a great way to help mom start a book collection.
    DD ~ 8/30/09 DS ~ 10/13/13
  • I did this for a friends shower thg I threw 4 years ago... It was great! And believe it or not, she didn't get multiples. Everyone had a different "favorite" to bring. I'm pretty sure my mom and sister are having this at mine and I cannot be more excited about it!
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