Ideas for doing a gender reveal at the shower.

slmille4

My mom and sis are throwing me a shower and I'm going to do a gender reveal there. My husband wants to find out, I can't keep a secret too long, and I didn't just want baby clothes at the shower so this seemed like a good option, an I thought I was being unique. Until I started telling people the plan, then find out everyone is doing it... So looking for some help on how to do it that is still unique. I keep seeing the same things: a cake with pink or blue in the middle and a box with balloons. Has anyone seen anything else that really caught their eye. I know, I'm trying to be unique but asking what uve seen which doesn't make sense but trying to get the creative juices flowing.

ljanette85

I did not want to know the gender and my fiancé did so we had the tech write it down and seal it in an envelope. We gave it to my sister who was helping with the shower. She had the person who made our cake put a blue filling in the center. It was cute and fit into the shower because we were going to eat cake either way. I know it's not really different but it was a really nice way to find out and the cake was good too!

nah82

I've seen this one mentioned elsewhere and it would fit well with a shower: you could take your sealed envelope to a department store with you, pick out boy and girl outfits/bibs/socks - whatever, that cost the same and ask the checkout person to gift wrap the one that matches what is in your envelope.  I guess you have to turn your back while they scan the tag and wrap and tell them to toss the receipt or put it in the envelope?  Then it is all wrapped up and ready to open at the shower and it could be the first or last gift you open.

dufferoo

Wait, do YOU know the sex yet? I couldn't tell from the wording of your post...

slmille4

No I don't know the sex yet, but we will find out before the shower. My husband said he didn't want to wait. And pp I don't think it's shitty but I've been to a few showers where once everyone knows what it is they just want to buy all the cute clothes and none of the essentials, they can still by clothes but they'll also be gender neutral and considering I want to have more than one baby if I have a girl this time I don't want a boy whose stuck in pink next time

rockyrollgirl

I have only seen the pink or blue filling for the cakes or cupcakes. From what I understand it is more for the parents (you are not supposed to know) so its up to whoever knows the sex to figure out how to present that.

rockopera

Bliss+Berry said:

slmille4 said:

No I don't know the sex yet, but we will find out before the shower. My husband said he didn't want to wait. And pp I don't think it's shitty but I've been to a few showers where once everyone knows what it is they just want to buy all the cute clothes and none of the essentials, they can still by clothes but they'll also be gender neutral and considering I want to have more than one baby if I have a girl this time I don't want a boy whose stuck in pink next time

FWIW, it's your job to provide for your baby and buy "the essentials."  Also, I think sex reveals are completely AWish, especially once the PTB already know they become even more pointless and silly.  

I agree with this. I also think it's crap to do this only to get "better" gifts.

rockyrollgirl

Oh FFS.

OP if you only want essentials just put what you think you need on the registry and keep it gender neutral.

slmille4

Yeah we're registering for all gender neutral. My point is that I've been at baby showers for girls and they got a million bows and pink frilly dresses for one month olds that they could never/hardly use and boys my BFF got a ton of "hunting" outfits because they're outdoorsy and everyone thought they were cute. Why is everyone getting bent out of shape that I am trying to avoid this. Yes I know that they are gifts and I will love them none the less but if I had a chance to choose between white onesies that I will go through like crazy or a pink frilly dress that will maybe be worn once ill take the onesie. I will be prepared to buy all the essentials. Call it pregnancy hormones or what but I seriously thought this was supposed to be a support forum not a "you don't do things I think are kosher so you suck and are going to be a horrible mother". We are all adults here and are just trying to get through this pregnancy with some support from people who understand, yes sometimes we need tough love but what u think is dumb may be something that someone was looking forward to or really hoping for, and that's not tough love that's just bein plain mean. Ok I'm done with my rant

doublefiesta

Can I give you some advice as a STM? First of all, if you want to do a gender reveal I think it's good you're doing it at your shower and not as a separate party. Second, I wouldn't worry one bit about doing a reveal in a unique way - pick a way and execute it well. If you're going to do a cake with pink or blue frosting, get the prettiest, best-tasting cake around. If you're going to do balloons, get beautiful, huge balloons, and so many your guests think they've never seen so many balloons in their lives. That's what makes a gimmick memorable in a good way, not in a "what was she thinking" kind of way. At the end of the day, guests don't care if the shower was unique, they care if the food was good, if the mood was festive, if they were treated well.

EastCoastBride

doublefiesta said:

Can I give you some advice as a STM? First of all, if you want to do a gender reveal I think it's good you're doing it at your shower and not as a separate party. Second, I wouldn't worry one bit about doing a reveal in a unique way - pick a way and execute it well. If you're going to do a cake with pink or blue frosting, get the prettiest, best-tasting cake around. If you're going to do balloons, get beautiful, huge balloons, and so many your guests think they've never seen so many balloons in their lives. That's what makes a gimmick memorable in a good way, not in a "what was she thinking" kind of way. At the end of the day, guests don't care if the shower was unique, they care if the food was good, if the mood was festive, if they were treated well.

This is so spot on.  Whenever I see people talk about being "unique", to a degree, I roll my eyes.  People don't really care if they've seen a reveal (or whatever the unique "topic" is) done the same way before or not.  They REALLY don't.  That isn't what they are going to walk away talking about.  I enjoy any kind of social event based on the overall vibe- the food, the company, the music. 

 

Sam Buttons

I would seriously reconsider knowing in advance of your guests. I know others have said this in one form or the other, but if I were invited to a shower, whether it be for my BFF who I would get a big gift for either way or an acquaintance who would get an outfit no matter what, I would be pretty upset if the parents knew the sex and surprised the guests at the party. I would feel like it was done to trick me into getting a certain gift.
The fact is boy or girl, I don't really care what someone else is having as long as its healthy, I don't need to be surprised.
That said, if the parents don't know and it's this cool moment, that's fine. If you are going to know ahead of time, I'd really reconsider doing it.

slmille4

Ok let me rephrase this. Because apparently things are getting lost in translation. We are not doing it to get better gifts. I fully intend on probably having to buy my car seat, my crib, etc. but, we fully intend on having more than one child. And hopefully if god willing one of each. My experience is when people know the sex they want to hover toward the cute outfits. BY ALL MEAN BUYVME CLOTHES!!!! But I'm hoping to get more of the essentials. Buy me onesies in white yellow or green or stuff that I can use for multiples. Buy me that cute outfit. Why I'm doing it is my husband wants to know the sex, and I can't keep a secret so doing it at the shower seemed like a logical thing to do while maintaining gender neutrality. I'm thinking more along the lines of same as if u knew but weren't telling, so everyone gets u gender neutral things. Which is what we want. We want gender neutral! Not better!! Essentials to me doesn't mean u buy me the expensive car seat, but stuff ill use for all pregnancies. Did that make it clearer?

Sam Buttons

I think you are drastically overestimating how much gender neutral clothes you will need or use. Register for gender neutral big things and some gender neutral clothes, people will get the hint without being ticked off. I have two girls, we registered for all gender neutral with our first despite knowing she was a girl and letting our guests in on the fact. I still got all the white and yellow onside I wanted and guess what? All those pale gender neutral colors are all stained from blow outs, etc from
DD1, so I am not even using most of them with DD2. I may have gotten a few extra pink dresses, but not to the extreme you seem to be expecting. There are plenty of people who are less fortunate, so you can just donate the extra and use your own money to buy a few extra of the style you like.

My point is, you can still make the point with your registry without pissing people off.

slmille4

At the end of the day I just thought it was a cute way to reveal the gender without having to keep it secret too long while maintaining gender neutrality at the shower. No trickery intended

jencnh

Wow...you really got attacked on this one. I think your idea is fine and unless you tell the guests "I'm not telling until the shower because I don't want a ton of gender specific items", then they won't know that. They will just think you did it at the shower because it will be a time of everyone special in your life to be gathered, and it would be a fun time to reveal it, which I'm sure is true.
I think it is fun to find out the sex of a close friend or family members baby and would look forward to the shower for this, even though a lot of posters say no one cares what the sex of your baby but you. I'm not sure if you'll know the the sex ahead of time but if you don't, I thought the gift idea was cute. You could also try to come up with something that goes along with the theme or season of the shower. My daughter had a small  get-together (immediately family only) around easter and they filled a bucket with plastic easter eggs that were filled with candy and funny sayings and one egg revealed the baby's sex. It was passed around until the sex was revealed.
Youtube is a good resource for ideas. Do a search on there, if you haven't already, to try to find some different ideas. Good luck!

slmille4

See above. I don't care if they get me clothes vs a diaper genie.

doublefiesta

It's one thing to not find out the sex of the baby so that you can share the joy of finding out along with your guests.

It's another thing to purposely withhold the information from your guests in order to steer them to a certain type of gift.

I understand this is not about trying to get more expensive gifts. But some guests will feel manipulated nonetheless.

slmille4

Ok we get it. I'm a horrible selfish person, but I don't care anymore. I'm pregnant and moody and some of u people are just plain mean. I've told plenty of people in doing this included those going to the shower and no one has said that I'm horrible for doing it or that they feel manipulated, my friends just told me they're still gonna try and find a cute outfit anyway. And that's it.

sabriel1

slmille4 said:

Ok we get it. I'm a horrible selfish person, but I don't care anymore. I'm pregnant and moody and some of u people are just plain mean. I've told plenty of people in doing this included those going to the shower and no one has said that I'm horrible for doing it or that they feel manipulated, my friends just told me they're still gonna try and find a cute outfit anyway. And that's it.

Well of course they haven't said anything to your face, that would be rude, it doesn't mean they aren't thinking it... just saying. Not trying to be mean but chances are if so many people here feel that it is rude then there is a very good chance that at least one of your guests will feel the same way. 

I actually don't mind gender reveals but they are just stupid if the parents to be already know - no one cares as much what you are having other than you so it just looks dumb.

A good idea would be to get the tech to write the gender and put it in an envelope and give it to you mom or someone you trust right away so you don't have a chance to peek at it, that way you wouldn't have to be worried about keeping the secret. Then that person can be in charge of getting a pink/blue cake or whatever you decide to do.

dufferoo

You and your husband could be wearing solid pink or solid blue at the shower, which would be cute, but subtle and not too showy, or even matching "team pink" or "team blue" tees. Then each guest would get the Yay! moment upon arrival.

SplashingFishy

Frankly, if I went to an event that included a gender reveal, I'd beige interested in watching the parents reaction than what the gender is. If you already know, I'd wonder why the hell you felt it needed to be announced specially as opposed to just saying "it's a girl!".

If your DH can't settle the heck down and wait to find out, then just leave it out.

EastCoastBride

JFC.  People sure take this sh1t way too seriously. 

And OP- that's not directed at you. 

slmille4

Yeah looking back at the post I forgert sarcasm half joking doesn't come off well, should have rephrased it but gosh if people don't post an answer to my question why do they just have to attack?

Cranang

I'm so curious about gender reveals. I mean isn't the reaction going to be the same either way. I mean no one is going to go "damn, kid has a vagina...yuck". And it's not like there are a lot of different outcomes... It's one of two. "Revealing" the genitalia just seems so weird...especially when it's not something that even "matters".

Crispity

I really, really hate the idea of stand-alone "gender reveal parties", as I feel it is extremely AW. However, I would actually be excited to attend a shower (a party that I am going to go to anyway) with a gender reveal IF the parents-to-be did not know the sex ahead of time. I would love to see the reactions of the parents and grandparents when they find out. I'd be annoyed if I found out that the parents-to-be already knew, and they didn't tell me because they were afraid that I would buy them a pink frilly dress.

So, if you are doing it because you think it will be a fun way to find out the gender, and as an added bonus you will get gender neutral gifts, go for it!

laurakaz13

I think gender reveals are kind of dumb and I really don't care what people are having.  I'm just happy that my friends and family are having babies. 

I think you should just not do a gender reveal at all.  Just tell everyone what you're having.  Send out an e-mail, post it on FB.  I agree that the only reason I'd be remotely interested in a gender reveal is to see the parent's reaction and if you both already know, then there is no point. 

You did get attacked here for this though.  Wow!  But just think about it, OP.  People invited to your shower are probably thinking the same things these posters are so...maybe you should just listen to it. 

linzerd

Bliss+Berry said:

slmille4 said:

No I don't know the sex yet, but we will find out before the shower. My husband said he didn't want to wait. And pp I don't think it's shitty but I've been to a few showers where once everyone knows what it is they just want to buy all the cute clothes and none of the essentials, they can still by clothes but they'll also be gender neutral and considering I want to have more than one baby if I have a girl this time I don't want a boy whose stuck in pink next time

FWIW, it's your job to provide for your baby and buy "the essentials."  Also, I think sex reveals are completely AWish, especially once the PTB already know they become even more pointless and silly.  

I don't think it's shitty or "Awish". I'm doing it strictly because I hate the color pink and if I'm having a girl, I don't want to be smothered with things that are the color of pepto bismol. If I don't have to end up with a shit ton of clothes I don't even want to dress my kid in, then I'm not going to. OP, I haven't heard of any other creative ways to do it and really just planned on the cake thing.

Cranang

linzerd said:

Bliss+Berry said:

slmille4 said:

No I don't know the sex yet, but we will find out before the shower. My husband said he didn't want to wait. And pp I don't think it's shitty but I've been to a few showers where once everyone knows what it is they just want to buy all the cute clothes and none of the essentials, they can still by clothes but they'll also be gender neutral and considering I want to have more than one baby if I have a girl this time I don't want a boy whose stuck in pink next time

FWIW, it's your job to provide for your baby and buy "the essentials."  Also, I think sex reveals are completely AWish, especially once the PTB already know they become even more pointless and silly.  

I don't think it's shitty or "Awish". I'm doing it strictly because I hate the color pink and if I'm having a girl, I don't want to be smothered with things that are the color of pepto bismol. If I don't have to end up with a shit ton of clothes I don't even want to dress my kid in, then I'm not going to.
OP, I haven't heard of any other creative ways to do it and really just planned on the cake thing.


Well aren't you just a peach! Too bad you don't like pink. These people are spending money on you buying what THEY want...that's half the fun of giving gifts. Manipulating people like that is just sh!tty. I guess it's just another "entitlement age" thing. My daughter won't be learning such rude behavior, thank God.

linzerd

Cranang said:

Bliss+Berry said:

slmille4 said:

No I don't know the sex yet, but we will find out before the shower. My husband said he didn't want to wait. And pp I don't think it's shitty but I've been to a few showers where once everyone knows what it is they just want to buy all the cute clothes and none of the essentials, they can still by clothes but they'll also be gender neutral and considering I want to have more than one baby if I have a girl this time I don't want a boy whose stuck in pink next time

FWIW, it's your job to provide for your baby and buy "the essentials."  Also, I think sex reveals are completely AWish, especially once the PTB already know they become even more pointless and silly.  

I don't think it's shitty or "Awish". I'm doing it strictly because I hate the color pink and if I'm having a girl, I don't want to be smothered with things that are the color of pepto bismol. If I don't have to end up with a shit ton of clothes I don't even want to dress my kid in, then I'm not going to. OP, I haven't heard of any other creative ways to do it and really just planned on the cake thing.

Well aren't you just a peach! Too bad you don't like pink. These people are spending money on you buying what THEY want...that's half the fun of giving gifts. Manipulating people like that is just sh!tty. I guess it's just another "entitlement age" thing. My daughter won't be learning such rude behavior, thank God.

Well aren't you just judgey! Lets hope your kid doesn't learn that from you! IMO, you're doing someone a favor by not wasting their money on something that will be of no use to you whatsoever. If people think it's manipulation, then They should think registries are just the same. And don't give me the entitlement age bs. You don't know me, you don't know my age, and I'm probably older than you!

RibbitGrl930

somerandomchick said:

Bliss+Berry said:

slmille4 said:

No I don't know the sex yet, but we will find out before the shower. My husband said he didn't want to wait. And pp I don't think it's shitty but I've been to a few showers where once everyone knows what it is they just want to buy all the cute clothes and none of the essentials, they can still by clothes but they'll also be gender neutral and considering I want to have more than one baby if I have a girl this time I don't want a boy whose stuck in pink next time

FWIW, it's your job to provide for your baby and buy "the essentials."  Also, I think sex reveals are completely AWish, especially once the PTB already know they become even more pointless and silly.  

I don't think it's shitty or "Awish". I'm doing it strictly because I hate the color pink and if I'm having a girl, I don't want to be smothered with things that are the color of pepto bismol. If I don't have to end up with a shit ton of clothes I don't even want to dress my kid in, then I'm not going to. OP, I haven't heard of any other creative ways to do it and really just planned on the cake thing.

FWIW, I was scared to find out the sex at all because I hate the princess stuff and the trucks and trains or whatever. I hate super gendering everything and I hate pink. Princess makes me want to barf. But I found out I was having a girl and you know what? My friends and family know me pretty well. I got cute dresses and outfits, my favorite being one with a baby hoodie because OMG I love hoodies and a BABY hoodie?!?! But I got very little pink, and NO princess stuff. Nothing with ridiculous ruffles. My friends and family know me pretty well. Give your F&F credit, maybe they have some idea of your taste.

This. All of this.

linzerd

YES. Thank you both. I really hadn't thought if it that way, and you are probably right, I might not end up getting a lot of Pink princessy junk, but I do feel like there are a few people, like my grandmother and aunts and such on my h's side that might just go crazy and pink it up like the baby is a flamingo.

Michelle N

If I were your friend, the only reason I'd really want to know the sex is to buy gender specific things. If I'm already at your shower, I probably wouldn't care. 

How many people are you having at your shower that it makes such a big difference? I purchased over 90% of my son's stuff myself. 

JemmaWRX

OP - can't you just wait until the shower to find out along with all your other guests?  I've never gone to a reveal but I imagine what gets your guests jazzed is seeing YOUR reaction to the news, not the other way around.  It seems... odd.  If I were a guest I'd be a little "what the fuck just happened here???"

Here is my advice - either wait until the shower to find out the sex and register for gender-neutral essentials or find out, scrap the reveal aspect of the shower, and expect to return items that you don't want or need.   

Texasmomma13

linzerd said:

Bliss+Berry said:

slmille4 said:

No I don't know the sex yet, but we will find out before the shower. My husband said he didn't want to wait. And pp I don't think it's shitty but I've been to a few showers where once everyone knows what it is they just want to buy all the cute clothes and none of the essentials, they can still by clothes but they'll also be gender neutral and considering I want to have more than one baby if I have a girl this time I don't want a boy whose stuck in pink next time

FWIW, it's your job to provide for your baby and buy "the essentials."  Also, I think sex reveals are completely AWish, especially once the PTB already know they become even more pointless and silly.  

I don't think it's shitty or "Awish". I'm doing it strictly because I hate the color pink and if I'm having a girl, I don't want to be smothered with things that are the color of pepto bismol. If I don't have to end up with a shit ton of clothes I don't even want to dress my kid in, then I'm not going to. OP, I haven't heard of any other creative ways to do it and really just planned on the cake thing.

I hate pink too, and I'm having a little girl. But I did NOT keep this information from my loved ones so that they would only buy me yellow and green clothing or no clothing at all. I registered for gender neutral essential items only, no clothes. I still received a crap ton of clothes at my showers, because that's normally what happens anyway. But because my friends and family know me, I received very little pink. Chances are that whatever clothing you do receive will probably only last through one kid anyway so I don't see what the big deal is.
As for the Gender reveal, I wouldn't do it but that's just me. I certainly wouldn't do it to manipulate people into purchasing other things. They are gifts. Take what you get and thank them nicely. If you choose to return/exchange them for something else that's your business.

Jillwithani

We revealed the sex at our shower. Our shower wasn't "based" around the idea of sharing it was just an extra added game or activity. We knew the sex ahead of time but since our moms are crazy we wanted to include them so they cut the cake together which was blue on the inside, end of story. There was no big production or manipulation plan. We registered for everything gender neutral as we would have if it were a boy or girl. People will buy what they want whether it's on the registry or not. Someone was convinced we were having a girl and got us a pink pack and play even. Bottom line, no one cares about your kids goods more than you and it's not cool to theme your shower around manipulating people to get you specific things. Many moms don't even have a shower or can't afford frilly pink dresses that I'm sure they'd love to have. Be thankful with whatever you get! BTW my son sleeps in pink pack and play with pride!

SparkySharky

How about filling balloons with either blue or pink whipped cream and popping them? Too messy? You'd have to get dark-colored balloons, too, so you couldn't see the color inside.

You could ask everyone to wear either pink or blue and then when the gender is announced, the "winners" get a prize.

FWIW, having the ulterior motive of not wanting a bunch of gender-specific baby clothes? Totally cool in my book. Everybody has multiple reasons for doing things (human beings are complex) and everyone will always give their best reason for doing something which is not always the "real" reason they are doing something. 

SparkySharky

Oh, and you can trust your friends with the real reason. You don't have to worry about them judging you behind your back. It's people you don't know who you have to "worry" about being judgmental. Which is why god made us so effing complex: so we can come with good reasons for the things we want that are still true when we say them to people who are judgy.

BlueRidge8

SparkySharky said:

Oh, and you can trust your friends with the real reason. You don't have to worry about them judging you behind your back. It's people you don't know who you have to "worry" about being judgmental. Which is why god made us so effing complex: so we can come with good reasons for the things we want that are still true when we say them to people who are judgy.