Truly nervous!

Stormytucker

Are there any STM's that can help me with some advice on how they got thru the FTM delivery and labor nerves? My mom is no help she always says how she never worried about anything and doesn't understand why I'm nervous and all my friends tell me their awful delivery stories! I'm very close to the big day, and just seem to not be able to relax! My husband has his own anxiety which makes mine much worse also!!!! Thanks in advance for any advice

LokiLahve

Knowledge is power. No one else will be able to tell you exactly what to expect but you can prepare yourself for situations that may happen simply by Doing research and educating yourself on labor and delivery

WildRumpus

FTM, but just remember, one way or another, you end up with a baby at the end. Start looking into ways to relax during labor, weather that's by using pain meds, meditating, whatever. Limit the negative stories, they just add to your anxiety. Everyone's labor is different, just because a friend had a bad experience doesn't mean you will. I would suggest checking out the website Birth Without Fear, it has all sorts of great birth stories that are meant to make you feel empowered, not scared.

SarahinMD

I agree that knowledge is power. I read a lot of positive birth stories. Ina May Gaskins' books have a lot of true stories...hippy-ish, but not the dramatized stuff you see on TV. In fact, last time I stopped watching TV birth stories (esp. Birth Story) entirely because it just made me more anxious. Also, DH is a very calm, reassuring presence for me (or at least acts convincing so) and that was a help...maybe just even talking with DH about what each of you are most anxious about and researching together? Whatever anxiety I still had vanished once labor started and we got to "work." It will all be well! Good luck!

MommyAmes2

Being nervous is normal. This is my third time, and I am still nervous. Just remember, baby has to come out! No matter what experience you end up with, you get your prize at the end.

lydsyjane

Jill9288 said:

FTM, but just remember, one way or another, you end up with a baby at the end. Start looking into ways to relax during labor, weather that's by using pain meds, meditating, whatever. Limit the negative stories, they just add to your anxiety. Everyone's labor is different, just because a friend had a bad experience doesn't mean you will. I would suggest checking out the website Birth Without Fear, it has all sorts of great birth stories that are meant to make you feel empowered, not scared.

Omg, I live on that site. Its amazing.
Also to OP, know that this is what your body is made to do and to think of labor as hard work, not suffering. Each contraction is assisting you, not meant to make you feel awful for no reason. Stay positive and surround yourself with positive people!

BlueJewelM

While I agree knowledge is power and reading and taking classes will help...if you still aren't feeling confident remember that there will be a team of people, whether it be an OB and nurses, a midwife or doula, or combination of those...you will have a great team to support you and help you deliver this baby! I was really appreciative of the nurses in maternity for their support and help. They will guide you through everything! Unless you don't make it to the hospital on time...

Lol which is rare!!! I'm sure everything will be fine!

CelticWife

Labor can seem very overwhelming. But you have to remember that it isn't like the movies. (or some peoples stories for that matter)

My advice is simple. Take it one contraction at a time. Stop thinking ahead. Labor is typically a loooooong process; early labor is an average of six to twelve hours, and active labor is an average of eight hours. Plus pushing time.

And, if you decide to get an epidural... Labor is actually kind of boring. You just sit, wait for your body to dilate, and field phone calls from crazy relatives. Try to take a nap.

Just take it one moment at a time and don't let the process scare or overwhelm you. You've got this.

manditxg

taking the classes at the hospital helped me a lot so far.  just being familiar with their policies and where to go/what to do when I get there has eased some stress. The more I know, the less anxious I am.  I'm also going in thinking positive happy thoughts and that the pain just means I get to meet my LO soon.  we've also taken away the stress of having visitors anxiously awaiting by deciding to just not tell them until after she's born.  I don't want to worry about who's in the waiting area waiting for me to pop so they can rush in after.  

I've also gotten very good at telling DH things to do and NOT to do while I'm labor to make it easier on me that way hopefully I'm less annoyed and easier to deal with making us both less stressed lol 

A37licia

Stephw32 said:

Knowledge is power. No one else will be able to tell you exactly what to expect but you can prepare yourself for situations that may happen simply by Doing research and educating yourself on labor and delivery

It really, truly comes down to this, IMO, and a good support system that you know will be there for you.

MidwestMeetsMA

Jill9288 said:

FTM, but just remember, one way or another, you end up with a baby at the end. Start looking into ways to relax during labor, weather that's by using pain meds, meditating, whatever. Limit the negative stories, they just add to your anxiety. Everyone's labor is different, just because a friend had a bad experience doesn't mean you will. I would suggest checking out the website Birth Without Fear, it has all sorts of great birth stories that are meant to make you feel empowered, not scared.

Another first time mom, but this is what's getting me through!

sfeebs13

FTM... I try not to get overwhelmed thinking about all of this. I don't want to get myself worked up for something that will be so worth it in the end. Its only natural, right?
@BlueJewelM said it right.. knowledge is power but having a good support team will make a big difference as well.

wifemomnurse

Much of it is you being able to relax and allow your body to do what it's meant to do. Find something that works for you, breathing or a distraction. If your tense, it might make things a bit harder on you. Take a warm bath and talk to baby, no matter what happens the end result is miraculous!

Alicia1111

It's very normal to be nervous!! With DD I was leaking water and couldn't wait to get to the hospital once I was there I was praying I wasn't leaking and could go home. But baby has to come out one way or another. It all kind of goes by as a blur. I remember I didn't want everyone and their friends to see my "area" but all modesty goes out the window once your there. After my DD was born I looked at my husband and said "that was nothing!! Lets do it again"

LokiLahve

Stormytucker said:

Well thanks everyone! U guys certainly made me feel better! Rationally I know out bodies are made for this, It's just tuning the crazy stories people feel necessary to tell a pregnant woman that I just don't understand! I will be ignoring all of those from this moment on!

The baby on the side of the road stories always freaked me out. It made me feel a little better hearing 1. That it is rare and 2. That the vast majority of those babies come without complications...they are just ready. I was told this by my MW, Bradley coach and the nurse on the L&D tour.

Stormytucker

Well thanks everyone! U guys certainly made me feel better! Rationally I know out bodies are made for this, It's just tuning the crazy stories people feel necessary to tell a pregnant woman that I just don't understand! I will be ignoring all of those from this moment on!