WWYD?
shaysmom05
member
Ok, this has been puzzling DH and I to the max. SS, who is 6, has a lot of bad habits. Alot of them we chalk up to his age, saying it's just a phaze.
1) The constant booger eating. Yes, that is a phaze that we can only hope goes away. When we catch him, we just tell him not to eat his boogers and if he needs to pick his nose, then he should go to the bathroom.
2) He runs around telling DD that he's going to kill her. BM has been letting him play violent video games like Morta Kombat and things like that. We tell him not to say things like that because it hurts everyone's feelings.
3) This one is the doozy, he tells people that we beat him. We DO NOT hit our kids. We take toys and movies away when they're bad and send them to the corner. One day, while shopping, I said, "Damn". He turned to me and said that he was going to tell his Mommy that I said a bad word and that I hit him in the face. He then proceeds to slap himself in the face over and over again. We told him that he shouldn't lie like that because it hurts our feelings. (The only thing we could say since we were in shock.) Come to find out, when he says bad words, BM slaps him in the mouth. Also, when SS eats his boogers, his 14 year old uncle hits him in the head. (BM told us all of this.)
4) He is now starting to say that he can't eat what we fix him because it will make him throw up, or the food is nasty...before he even takes a bite. That one is just annoying, but we really don't know what else to do about it.
Sorry it's so long, just needed to get that one out.
Re: WWYD?
Other than the first point, every other issue goes DEEPER than basic familial work.
6 yos should never threaten to kill ANYONE, let alone their siblings. And even though 6 yos are at the age to play one parent off the other, going to STRANGERS is not normal. Nor should 6 yos be hit by their 14 you uncle.
I would do two things.
1) Start journaling EVERYTHING that he does/says and everything the BM does/says
2) Get him into some therapy ASAP. These are NOT normal behaviors and you need to work on them as soon as possible BEFORE they are permanent. Since you don't grow INTO threatening to kill your siblings, you won't grow out of it.
3) Contact your lawyer. I mean seriously! This kid is screaming for help - they DO NOT SLAP THEMSELVES IN THE FACE FOR THE HELL OF IT.
I kinda wonder though if he's telling people that you're beating him, when you aren't if maybe he's not telling tales about getting smacked in the mouth or upside the back of his head. Then again, you said his BM says this. I'm gonna get flamed but I smack my kids in the mouth when they say crap they know damn well they shouldn't say. But a 14 year old shouldn't be disciplining anyone.
In any case, the fact that he smacks himself is disturbing. I think you should get an evaluation for him. If there is a problem there, you want to get a jump on it now if you have any hope of helping him.
Click me, click me!
I agree. Thanks!
Yikes! I don't even know what to say. Therapy?
My SD all of a sudden began saying that we "smack her" on the head, or if I ask her to do something and she says "just a minute" I raise my voice a little and tell her now or she will not do it, so she will go do whatever I ask her to do but, she covers her butt as if I'm going to spank her bubble butt! It annoys me so much. What I started doing was that the next time she said that we "smack" her I told the people she was saying that to that it wasn't true but that I did not want her to be a liar so-- POW! I smacked her! Infront of the people she was saying this to. Everyone was shocked - although I didn't hit her hard . . . after a few moments of silence we all laughed except her. I wanted to prove to her that she was not going to intimidate me with her lies. NEVER again has she done this!
The food thing she has done and still tries to this day but, I make her eat everything I serve her, or she can go hungry! She is not allowed sodas or snacks afterwards.
What I don't understand is why a 14 yr. old is stepping in to discipline -- that is wrong! Good luck and hopefully things get better.
Obviously I am really late to this post but I thought you might like to hear my experience with this.
1.
Obviously I am really late to this post but I thought you might like to hear my experience with this.
1.
Obviously I am really late to this post but I wanted to add my two cents.
1. Booger eating - yes it is gross, but not much you can do.
2. It probably wouldn't hurt for him to see a counselor. Children of that age that are shown too much violence have a tendency to not understand the difference between real violence and 'play' violence and as a result have difficulty showing empathy, sympathy, and can become violent because they don't understand the real consequences of violence.
3. When I was about 4 years old my father took me to a store in my home town. I wanted a toy. My dad wouldn't buy it for me and I started throwing a tantrum. He picked me up and started carrying out of the store. I began screaming even louder "you're not my daddy!". The store's security stopped my dad and he tried to convince them that he was my father. They ended up calling my mother who had to come down to the store to identify my father and tell them it was okay for me to leave with him because I was his child.
That
stupid nest!
Anyway, that being said it isn't so much that it hurts your feelings it is that you can get into SERIOUS trouble if he told that to the wrong person. My SD told her school counselor that my DH takes drugs. Well, the reason for her saying this is because she had learned in a counseling class that tobacco and medicine are drugs. DH smokes, and he takes 2 prescriptions. I told her she needs to be careful how she says that because he takes medicine and when she refers to them as drugs it makes her dad sound bad.
Does your ss know what would happen to you if he said that to the wrong person? Again, I see this as a counseling issue.
4. If my sd decides she doesn't want what I fix and she hasn't tried it or knows what we are having and doesn't say anything she only has two choices, eat what was made or don't eat till morning. 1 night isn't going to kill him!