de-lurking. Opinions please?

triumphantreturnofplanningbug

Did any of you go straight to adoption before trying to?

conceive? ?If you did, would you mind sharing your stories

of why you chose that, and how you came to that

decision??

DH and I want children, but we're learning that

he has health problems that are probably genetic, and?

he stated that he doesn't want to pass on those genes.

Our current "deal" was that for every child we create

from us, we adopt at least one because I feel really

passionately about adoption, so it isn't as if this is

totally off what we wanted to do eventually. ?Obviously,

nothing is going to get decided right now, but I think

it would be good for us to hear from others who have

made similar choices. ?(And I plan on getting Adoption

for Dummies as soon as I can!)?

?

Thank you!?

karalee402

Hi:)  Your siggy pic is gorgeous!! Just had to say that first:)  Onto your actual question...:)  This wasn't my experience exactly, although I always have been interested in adopting, I just wasn't sure I'd do it first.  BUT, I do have clients who do this.  I've worked with a few couples who never TTC and just went straight to adoption - one of them was actually in a similar situation, but she had a genetic health condition that she wasn't willing to risk passing along.

Just wanted you to know that yes, it does happen and you're not alone.  I'm glad you de-lurked:)

triumphantreturnofplanningbug

Thank you, for both the compliment and the "you're not

alone, it does happen"!

HitchedinIN

I know this isn't exactly what you're looking for, but my SIL's friend adopted internationally first....and soon after getting placed found out they were pregnant. So when they brought home their adopted son, who was several months old, she was 4-5 mos. pregnant. Clearly, that does not happen for everyone. I'm unsure of their reasons for adopting without TTC first. That's about all I know about their situation.
 

TheNextWest

We already had one bio child when we decided to adopt. We had always planned on adoption, it was a lifelong passion of mine. We didn't have specific reasons other than just knowing it was God's plan for us.

 Not long after starting our homestudy, we actually found out that we couldn't concieve again. For us, it just confirmed that adoption was the right path for us all along.

silliestbunny

We are sort of in your position.  I am a cancer survivor.  While there's a chance I could get pregnant with fertility help, we've decided to forego bio kids and move right into adoption.  We were unsure initially.  My doctors weren't wild about me getting pregnant but no one would say "don't do it". 
I sort of was living in denial...thinking let God's will be done....

I had a revelation shortly after www.mattlogelin.com started posting about his tragedy/change of life course (he lost his wife after child birth).  It put it all into perspective.  I want to be a parent.  DH wants to be a parent. We want to do it together....and we pray for a healthy baby.  Matt Logelin's posts made me realize that I was playing with fire...and needed to reprioritize my wants as a future parent.

 Where you and I may be different is that all of my family and friends know about my cancer history so no one is asking questions about why we are adopting.  I must say that I am glad not to deal with the barage of questions. 

 Good luck to you.

jenchristine

This was my exact situation. I had been told when I was 18 I might have issues, and just put it aside. After being married for 4 years, and turining 30 we decided we wanted kids, and didn't want to deal with miscarriages - that is my biggest fear. So we immediatly went the adoption route.

My little honey just turned 3 yesterday and I couldn't be happier about my experience. If you have any questions I would be happy to tell you about my agency - it was the best!