Telling friends and family

Mrs. Malcolm

When did you tell friends and family that you were considering adoption?  My in-laws don't know anything about our struggles yet.  I feel like we should put them in the know, however we haven't officially started the adoption process yet.

galbraith2be

Our family knew about our struggles the whole 2 plus years we were going through it.  We didn't tell our families about the adoption plan until we had researched and right before we decided on an agency.  I didn't want their comments while I was still getting comfortable with this next step in our journey.  Once we were both bursting at the seams, dh and I both told our sides of the family.  Both were ecstatic and extremely supportive!

TTCgradstud

We told them as soon as we decided that it was our next step.  We wanted to be able to talk about the process and what was going on so they could know what was going on and learn along with us.  I think we picked an agency a month or so after we told them.   

BurkeJax

We told them when we decided to not move on with more treatments. We let it sink in with them and talk about it more and more. We did only tell the parents we do not discuss really with others in the family.

gingerfamily

Our immediate families and close friends know.  They were there for us last month when the bm had a m/c. 

jacksjerseygirl

We had some approvals to wait for in order to be accepted to the agency we desired to work with for our domestic infant adoption. Once we were approved to join the agency we sent an email to friends and family.

 Our email announced that we were expecting through adoption with no due date. We explained simply and shortly that we have spent the last several months undergoing fertility testing that resulted in a confirmation of our previous understanding that we are unable to biologically carry a child. We also explained that we had planned to adopt our child even before we were married. (I have known since I was about 8 that I would not probably be able to have a biological child - so this was such an easy transition for us).

We then gave our friends and family an FAQ. Some of the questions we answered were: what type of adoption, how long is the wait, why we are adopting a child that doesn't look like us, what if the birth mother 'changes her mind', can we throw you a shower, and so forth.

We sent this in a mass email to all friends and family, and of course we told our parents by phone. We have received nothing but compliments on the information and the myth busting we did about domestic adoption. We have also received so many wonderful messages congratulating us on 'expecting' and sharing with us stories about how adoption has touched them or someone they know. Many of those emails just made me cry, in happiness.

We really are treating this like a pregnancy, with all the joys of telling people and preparing our home for a baby as well as the nerves that all parents have when expecting a child, we just don't have a due date!

Every couple has come to adoption for their own reasons and their own ways. I think you just have to discover for yourself what path you want to go down :-)

Dr.Loretta

My family knows about our IF and my m/c's, so we're very open about our adoption research.

DH's family knows nothing, so we'll let them know when we hook up with an agency.

candm

WE told our family and friends right after we received our referral. In hindsight, if I could do it over again, I wouldn't have told them until around now. It gets tiring when everyone asks "when are they going to be home" and we still don't know the answer.

speak-ez

Our closest friends knew about our IF struggles and then we came out about that to our immediate family during IUI #4 - attempt 1. We didn't tell any extended family so when we announced we were adopting to my grandparents they asked what we were adopting :-0

Our bosses know and over the next month, as we finish up the homestudy, we will be sharing with all our aunts, uncles, co-workers, etc. We want to start networking asap.

 

nisems

jacksjerseygirl:

We then gave our friends and family an FAQ. Some of the questions we answered were: what type of adoption, how long is the wait, why we are adopting a child that doesn't look like us, what if the birth mother 'changes her mind', can we throw you a shower, and so forth.

Love the FAQ idea!