this may cause an arguement but I have to know

crazynervous

I realize we each have different parenting styles and letting your child CIO is a huge debate but I am wondering if you have more then one child has your opinion on CIO changed? 

Jodi&Joe

My opinion on it has always been the same --- and that is "you have to do what you have to do."

That said, Joey was a dream baby -- STTN at 6-8 weeks old.

Cam --- totally different story.

What it REALLY taught me when I had more than one kid --- kids are 98% nature and 2% nurture!  If you are think you are doing something spectacular because your one and only child STTN at a young age --- HA!  have a couple more.  That'll learn ya! 

stacynikki

I don't have more then one child but I was soooo hesitant to do it.  But because DS responded so well to it I would do it again in a heartbeat and I would do it sooner.  Well, sooner as long as DC#2 responds to it well like DS did. 

REOM

My opinion of CIO has changed over the past two years, but it is more about being a mom for longer rather than having two children.

I used to be totally opposed to CIO, but now I see just how important sleep is.  When I hear parents say that their 18-24 month old has sleep issues and doesn't sleep, I think it's more the parent's issue than the child's.  At that point, the parent has to do whatever it takes for their child to get a good uninterrupted nights sleep- even if that means CIO. A child can not grow, develop or function properly without sleep.

j-w

No, it has not changed.  Both of my kids are great night sleepers.  I know DS can still change, but he has been a dream so far.  His naps are not consistent yet.  But, I would not CIO for a nap either.

Zenya

I can't imagine ever thinking CIO was ok for my kids. 

DaisyAdair

I let my 1st CIO when she turned 1.  The fact that she got up at 6am, didn't nap, and wanted to stay up hanging out until 11pm was NOT OK.  I nearly ended my marriage and, when #2 came, it just wasn't something we could allow anymore.

Within a week, she was going to sleep at 8:30pm and sleeping until 7:30am.  Still doesn't nap, but I let that dream die!  I'm just happy she sleeps at night! 

#2 STTN as soon as we brought her home.  I thought we had it made.  That was until she hit 4mo and decided sleeping sucks.  All night long.  Sleep for 20mns, get up and stay up for an hour, sleep for another 15mns.  It was terrible.  We couldn't move her into her room because it's right next to #1's room and I didn't want them both up. 

So, when she hit 6mo, we stopped running over to the co-sleeper the second she started to cry.  Two days.....now she sleeps from 10pm-4am and then from 5am-9am.  She'll be moved across the hall soon.

Needless to say, I'm a big fan and wouldn't hesitate to do it again at 6mo with #3, if it's necessary.

jjr

it depends on the situation.  i don't think it has much to do with how many kids you have, I have 2.

when their babies, they really should be sleeping 8-9 hrs by 12 weeks (tops).  yes, let them cry it out if their not. 

when they are toddlers, sometimes they  just need to cry it out to get it out of their system if they are having a fit.  other times, your kids need you, food, hugs, whatever - you really need to know your kids and what their needs are.

KoriBrett

Hasn't changed.  I would prefer not to ever do CIO if I can possibly avoid it.  I'll never say never - but I can't see us doing it.  Even with DS not sleeping, there's always been a reason for him waking. 

Some kids do need to wind down and sometimes it's the only way to do it though.  *shrug*

JenniC1135

Sort of.  The twins CIO at a super young age - before 6 months - because it was a matter of survival and sanity for all of us.  Adam is 8 1/2 months and still up 2-3 times per night.  I long for more sleep and solid sleep, but I cannot let him cry.  For one thing, I don't think he'd respond as well as they did, and for another, since I am nursing him, it's harder to hear when I know I could go in there, feed him, and be done in 10 minutes.  Also, the twins still have sleep issues, so it's not like CIO was some permanent miracle.  And Adam is a much happier, easier baby than they ever were.  I am sort of afraid that if I let him cry, I'll somehow break" him and ruin that about him.  ANd I am afraid if I let him cry, it would wake the twins and then I'd really be screwed...

rach&jay

I am not a fan of CIO.  But, we have used it when the situation warranted. 

Zenya

just to add that part of what makes it harder (or easier, I guess) for me is that I really don't think uninterrupted, solitary sleep is a reasonable expectation until well into the second year.  So the idea of letting a child cry alone so that they will sleep alone for long periods of time  just doesn't make sense to me on any level. 

ashleyvc1

We started doing it for DD when she was 4.5 months old.  She was waking every hour and not needing anything but comfort so we would let her cry every other waking out.  She only cried for 4 - 5 minutes TOPS.

 

I will do the same with this one if this one seems to be a child that will respond to it.  I think it all depends on the child.

DandR

I have 3, and I never did "classic CIO" but my own modified version, which to most probably isn't CIO.

I NEVER let my kids scream and cry when it was that unsettling, not going to calm down soon by themself scream.

I DID let my kids fuss though.  A few minutes of fussing was not a big deal to me.  My max for fussing is about 5 minutes though, and if they are still fussing after 5 minutes, I would get them, rock them, and try again when they were back to happy and content....without letting them fall asleep while I rocked them.

I have a hard time hearing my kids cry for any period of time.....That and Taylor has a sensitive stomach as it is, and has made herself puke when she gets really upset, so i can't imagine if we had let her cry hard as a baby what would have happened.

My opinion has stayed the same throughout though....do whats best for you...

goodhartedmommy

No. There are times that I feel like just letting them CIO, but I still feel in my heart that it is not right, so I resist the urge. I try not to parent in the heat of the moment, but try to stick to what I feel is right.

stcroixbride

I only have one, but we screwed this one up so bad, we are going into the next one with a set of rules that we HOPE will make the sleep thing better ;P  We still have to bring her in our bed some nights and it SUCKS!

We were kinda on and off with sleep training, because she kept changing the rules on us.  And forget about CIO in the middle of the night - she would scream for an hour or more, and we just needed our sleep (as did she)!

Like I said, we effed up BIG time this time around...plus we have one of those difficult kids who don't seem to do anything "by the book"

GRRR...I love her, but the sleep issue has been our #1 complaint since about 6 months (oh, yeah, she was an angel up until then, the little stinker!)

Chrisy-Wyobride

Yes, it's changed.  No way I could CIO w/ DD#1--I was way too scared & a nervous nelly.  Well that DD didn't STTN until she was about 3...I SWORE NEVER again--it was hell!  I CIO'd w/ DD#2 at about 8mo old & she's STTN ever since.  I thank God for it!!  For #3 I will probably CIO at 6mo.