**LANIE**

BerriGirl

Okay, hold up... you just replied below that the next one will be Matilda if it's a girl... ???

I thought you were deadset on not having any more?

Don't ask me how I know this. I am not a stalker.

lanie26

LOL! I was dead set on having NO more, and then Josephine started sleeping, I got over the PPD, and went back to work.

now I know we'll try again end of next year. but thanks, STALKER. Hehehe.

I do know that next time around I will not take as much mat leave time, and head back 2 months in rather than 6 months. 

mikey&amie

Totally butting in here, but I was the same exact way. ?We have a VERY easy baby, but I had horrible PPD/Anxiety (was hospitalized for 6 days), and I said I would never do that again. ?I'll be ready to try again this time next year

BerriGirl

I totally get the sleeping thing. We said we'd never do it again, but now that Jack sleeps from 8 - 4:30 on a somewhat consistent basis, I can entertain the idea of MAYBE doing this again. However, if we don't do it next year, we won't do it at all. I can't imagine getting to the point of regaining our ability to travel again (this seems easier with a 3 year old) and starting all over.

Six months?!? Oh - you're Canadian. I can't imagine.

lanie26

It's shocking how PPD can change you. really scary. I didn't recognize myself for awhile.

BerriGirl

What were your symptoms, if you don't mind sharing? Did you realize you were experiencing it as it was happening?

lanie26

Yeah we get a year subsidized. Its fine if you're not going batsh1tcrazy at home. I wanted to die.

I haaaated being a SAHM. I have a lot of respect for moms who can do it. But I was much happier when i got back to work. 

lanie26

of PPD? I didn't bond/couldn't bond with her. I grieved my old life. I started seeing and hearing things (though I think this was more the fatigue) and I would literally sit and sob all day in the chair in her nursery.

All I wanted to do was drop her off at my parents with a tag that said "I gave it a shot. Good luck with her!" HA!

I just had a hard time adjusting. There was a lot of sadness, and anger. 

mikey&amie

Mine was severe anxiety. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It didn't hit me until 3 months pp, so I wasn't prepared. ?I guess you're never prepared for something like that. ?I was scared of being alone with DD, I felt incapable of caring for her (which was crazy b/c I took care of her for 3 months before!) ?I didnt' want to ask for help, thought I could "handle" it on my own, but there was no way. If you're interested there's, a loooonnng story in my blog (link below) October, 2008.