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Is it PPD, or is this "normal" for now?
DD2 is now a week old. I've been breastfeeding since she was born, which I didn't do with DD1. It's going just okay, I think. I have plenty of milk, and she's gaining weight (already past her initial birth weight), so I know she's fine.
It all just hit me last night though. I've literally been bound to this baby since she came out, and I'm friggin exhausted. She cluster feeds after 1am and doesn't stop until 6am. So, in the last week, I've maybe got 20 hours of sleep total.
I miss DD1. I feel guilty for not being able to spend quality time with her. It's making me cry as I type this.
I'm also totally overwhelmed by how hard this bf sh*t is. I'm supposed to cut back on my caffeine intake, which is totally affecting my mood. I don't have a pump, so I have to bf at least every two hours, and by then, my boobs are hard and lumpy. My nipples are killing me, which is getting better, but still-they hurt.
My H goes back to work on Monday and I'm not sure I'm cut out to handle two kids at once by myself.
I'd also like to get out of the house, but the thought of trying to do that right now sounds like climbing a mountain.
I've been in tears off and on all day today. Is this lack of sleep, PPD, or BF related???
Sorry so long....
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is it PPD, or is this "normal" for now?
(((HUGS)))
I think it's pretty normal for right now. BFing can be overwhelming, especially at first. It does get much easier, I know that doesn't help you out a lot now, but it will. When you get a pump, that should make things a little easier on you. Hang in there.
Sidney is so sweet!
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
Oh sweetie, I've been there. It's totally the lack of sleep, it exacerbates everything! It lasted for me until my babies started sleeping 3-4 hours at night. If you do plan of BF'ing longer I would get a pump so your DH can do a few feedings at night.
This is why I'm not BF'ing this time. I may get flamed for being selfish, but I know it won't for me. I need a break to be a good Mom.
You can totally handle 2 kids- you're a great Mom. (HUGS)
Honestly, sounds pretty normal to me. BFing hurts like a b!tch at first but it does get better.
RE: the rest; it all sounds like perfectly normal feelings to have now that you are mom of 2. All that said, maybe call the doc and describe what are you feeling and see what she says? I am not trying to minimize what you are experiencing...just sounds like really rational things you are feeling. I'm sure it all IS very overwhelming.
I think it will help to get to a new "normal" being a mom of two but that takes some time.
Anyway, I'm certainly no expert as I'll be in your position in a few months.
But, we are all here for you
(((hugs!))) I'm no doctor, but what you're describing sounds about par for the course for being a new mom (and a nursing mom, at that). I pretty much felt that way for the first 6 months of DD's life, thanks to what we later realized was probably colic! I don't have two kids yet, but I already have bouts of anxiety about how much I'll miss one-on-one time with DD, whether I'll be able to nurse baby #2 as long as with DD, and how it's unfair that I'm going back to work when #2 is 4 months old after taking a year off with DD. I think all of that is normal, unfortunately!
Here's my two cents' worth:
-Get a pump. I tried to make it without one (and then bought a manual one, which was useless) when DD was a baby, and I ended up frustrated and overwhelmed, and because I didn't introduce bottles for the first several months, it then took ages for her to take one when I finally started to supplement with formula...all of which resulted in me never being able to let someone else take a feeding, and never being able to leave DD for more than an hour at a time before she started freaking out to nurse again. Next time, I'm buying an electric one. They're expensive, but you can sell it to a friend and they just have to buy new tubing and stuff, or you can rent one...either way, it will take some of the overwhelming responsibility off your shoulders!
-Force yourself to get out of the house. Easy for me to say when I don't have a newborn and a toddler to wrangle yet, but the same rule applied when DD was a newborn. I was totally overwhelmed by the idea of taking her out, nursing in public, lugging all the gear around, and hearing her scream bloody murder the whole car ride, but even a trip to Target or a walk around the block can be a really good thing for your mood and perspective.
Hang in there! They don't call this the hardest job in the world for nothing, so remember that you're not the first to feel this way and certainly won't be the last. The good news is, it will keep getting easier, you'll fall into a schedule (which will allow you some time with Ashlyn again once Sydney starts taking semi-regular naps), and you CAN handle both of them even after your DH goes back to work. Give yourself some time to get used to the new human being you've welcomed into your family--it doesn't happen overnight.
(Can you give me this speech back again in, oh, about 5 months?)
Kiwi Fruit, 10.2.06 & Ellie Bug, 4.5.09
My blog: Bear With Us
Ideas on Teaching Your Toddler/Preschooler at Home
It sounds pretty normal to me. My DD is now almost 3 wks old and I miss my older kiddo too. I do feel like he is getting a bit of the shaft right now.
As far as bfing goes, it does get better and easier. I bfed DS until 13 months and it was a piece of cake at the end. But it took time to get adjusted. It is a huge commitment. Are you interested in getting a pump? It saved my sanity after the first 3 months. Hang in there! Lack of sleep seems to do my mood in. I am just lucky this baby is a sleeper unlike my first. He was my nightmare.
ETA: I did start going out of the house with both this week. It wasn't as bad as I had expected. Hopefully that gives you some hope!
Thanks ladies.
I'm just scared I'll end up with PPD and not really realize what's happening until I feel like checking out.
I may not continue to BF because of all this. I didn't realize how tied down it was going to make me feel. I thought it would be easier. I know it's still really early to be saying all this, but I just don't think it's going to work out for me long term. I want to be able to hand Sydney off to someone else to feed, and that ain't happening if I'm doing this BF thing, unless I pump, which my LC told me not to do until she's at least 3 weeks.
Sounds pretty normal. ?
?A few things that helped me.
Have you mastered the side lying position for BFing? ? I didn't feel near the exhaustion with DS (BF) compared with DD (FF) and it was because I was able to nurse and sleep. ??
I'd start with small outings and outings that you can easily get away from. We the storybook/puppet show at the library...it only lasted 30 mins?and if able we'd stay and get a book. ? We also went to the park alot. ? DS loved his sling and I could do anything as long as he was in it. ?Have you tried a sling??
Seriously, its pretty tough at first esp during feeding and bedtime (that and Potting training were the hardest times for me) ?It gets easier...
DS and DD bath together (just as easy as bathing one kid)
DS and DD play together (DS is generally totally entertained by his sister even in the PNP and on the airplane), no entertaining for mommy (sometimes)
DS and DD eat the same foods now (and have for quite a few months)?
You need to do what's right for you and your DDs. If that's stopping, that's fine! But, I promise it does get easier. I had my worst moments when BFing was at it's worst. Once it stopped hurting, EVERYTHING seemed to get easier.
Sadly, it sounds normal for the first few weeks. The lack of the sleep, and the overwhelming amount of time you spend BFing is such a shock to the system, plus the feeling that you can't do anything since you are BFing all the time. I can only imagine it with another child.
I DID have PPD - I should have gone to the Dr, probably should have gotten medication for it. It would have made a big difference in the 1st 6 months of DS's life. Not to say that all PPD cases are the same, but for me I had an overwhelming sense of having "lost" myself. I kind of felt like my life was over, you know? It was a terrible way to feel - I loved DS, but at the same time I often found myself wishing he wasn't around so I could be me again. These feelings lasted a long time - several months - so beyond the usual baby blues. I was also very, very stressed out - impatient, etc. I really wish I had done something about it - I feel horrid now that my first months with DS were like that.
Anyway, one thing that did help was stopping BF'ing. Obviously, if you want to keep going it is a wonderful thing and it WILL get better and easier. But, I don't regret my decision to stop - it made big difference in my mental state, which IMO mattered a LOT more to DS than me BFing him, you know? I just wanted to give another perspective....BFing is wonderful and nutrition wise is obviously best for your baby. But, a happy mom is THE most important thing for your baby.
((hugs))
It all sounds completely normal for a bf baby, so I'd say your mood is probably mostly from lack of sleep. Exhaustion makes the tiniest problem seem so much bigger.
The hard lumpy boobs go away eventually. I think it took close to a month for me, but I had a huge over supply. The lack of caffeine was hard too. IMO the pump doesn't make things better. I found the pump to be just an added hastle when DD was a newborn. Every time I would try to pump, she would wake up in the middle of it and need to be nursed. Every.single.time.
Try soothies breast pads for your nipples. They are cool gel pads that I was given in the hospital, and they work wonders.
It sounds like she has her days and nights confused still, so try to get her to cluster feed in the evenings instead of early early morning. Wake her up to nurse and try to keep her up and nursing off and on for most of the evening. If you're not co-sleeping, you could try that. If you bf in the side lying position, you can sleep while baby is nursing.
Good luck. I thought the newborn stage was really tough. I can't imagine going through it with a toddler to take care of also.
Another thought - Could you read books with DD1 while nursing DD2? She could turn the pages while you read. Then you'd have a little more time together.
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
oh, dear...
I felt just this way with only ONE baby...for awhile...tough adjustment. I was resentful of the fact that I was the only one who could feed her, and that ALL she wanted to do was eat!
I really am sorry, and know how you're feeling. I am really glad I stuck out the BFing, b/c it got WAY easier, and way less frequent-but until then I think the only way to describe it was..hell.
you are having a huge hormone dump right now, too-don't forget, you have been all hopped up on pg. hormones, and now you need time to level off. talk to your doc- I am sure they'll be supportive, and if you decide that BFing is not for you, you do not have to do it- (I am dreading starting it all over again, but I have to remember how much better it did get for me...ugh.)
hang in there!! IT IS GOING TO GET WAY BETTER, SOONER THAN YOU THINK
Ditto to what everyone else has already said.
BFing is hard at first, but it does get better and becomes very convenient. Make a decision for what is best for your whole family (DD #1, you, DD #2 and dad) but consider the benefits and convenience down the road with BFing.
Lack of sleep is brutal at first, isn't it? It'll get better too.
Do you have family or friends who can come by for a few hours a day? They could give your DD#1 some one-on-one time and let you snooze a bit.
I'd also suggest trying to hook up with a moms group if you can. Isolating yourself for too long can make things seem even harder.
Ditto everyone...
BF is hard, especially when you have another child. I was lucky Ethan was going to the nursery and J was home alone with me when I was on maternity leave. When Ethan was home, I bf J while sitting on the floor and playing with E. I felt so guilty I was not spending as much time with him as I used to, but we all got used to it. Bed & bath time were more difficult, but we also bf'ed during those. I got pretty good at walking around with J attached to my boob. He was falling asleep, waking up and sucking some more, falling asleep again, then sucking some more. he could stay like this all day long....
It gets easier.
At about a week old I was picking up J from the nursery and going to the park with both boys. Moby wrap was J's best friend, I highly recommend it.
Best of luck and congrats on the beautiful baby!