cant decide if we should find out baby's gender..?

mickey84

Seems everyone is asking us if we know and if I say no, then they are like, "WHY NOT?" like we're crazy. Anyone eles think its super exciting to not know??? The only reason I would want to is so I can get things specifically gender appropriate - but that doesnt seem like a good enough reason. I think it might be one more thing to keep me going! lol

If you found out, how glad are you that you did?

lhull

We are not finding out. I have gotten a few eye rolls b/c "it's easier to know. I wish I was able to find out in my day".  I am pretty psyched about not knowing. 

Also, there are plenty of gender neutral things out there to choose from. 

jenerally

Actually, we get a lot of eyes lighting up and ppl saying "that's so COOL" that we don't know.

When I was pg with DS, we knew the sex and his name by 21w. And while that was fun in and of itself ... I kind of like not knowing this time around. Especially since this is going to be our last baby, I'm (right now) enamored of the idea of laboring and the OB holding up the baby, saying, "it's a ___!"

We have one last u/s this Thursday, though. It's SUPER HARD for a control freak like me to know that I *could* find out if I really, really wanted to!

HuneyofJeremy

We did find out. I am the type of person that wants to know. I hate suprises. I am glad we did so we can plan accordingly.

 A lot of my friends did not choose to know. They wanted that moment when the doctor announces it after birth.

 Neither way is the wrong way. If you do not want to find out, the do not. Do not let others tell you are crazy for not finding out. I have gotten the opposite, where people tell me that I am crazy for finding out. To each their own. Do what you feel is best for your husband and yourself.  

viety82bur

We found out and haven't told a soul IRL...At first that was hard, but we haven't caved yet...we have another ultrasound on Mon and it's driving my mom crazy, but I kind of like us knowing (we have since 19 weeks) and no one else--like it's our little secret... I'm glad I found out though--I was totally convinced it was a boy and I would have been completely shocked if we had waited to hear "It's a girl!"

DEBBIE33CASEY

I am really glad to know for our first one.  It has definately helped make the baby seem more real and it's helped me to bond with my unborn.  As you said it's easier to buy gender specific merchandise too, and that did help me to make my decision to know. 

But I feel a special new attachment to the baby now that I know her gender and that wasn't something i was expecting to get out of finding out.  Now I don't think that I'm having a baby, but I'm having my daughter.

I have thought though that for subsequent pregnancies I will play with the idea of not finding out. But for our first one, with all the preparation I'd like to do, it's been VERY convenient knowing.

aprilmama410

We planned to find out from the start. SOOOO many people were like, "Why would you find out? It's one of the only good surprises left in the world".

 

My reply~ To each his own....

 

I'm thrilled that we found out, so is DH. 

misslady79

When I was pregnant with DD I found out. With this pregnancy, I want to wait, but I don't see that happening. I'm just really excited about finding out.

lemen99

We're not finding out - just because we think it'll be so exciting.

 

It drives our families nuts "how will we know what to buy for the shower?!" but I'm SURE they will get over it

MrsG.060708

viety82bur:

We found out and haven't told a soul IRL...At first that was hard, but we haven't caved yet...we have another ultrasound on Mon and it's driving my mom crazy, but I kind of like us knowing (we have since 19 weeks) and no one else--like it's our little secret... I'm glad I found out though--I was totally convinced it was a boy and I would have been completely shocked if we had waited to hear "It's a girl!"

This is what DH and I plan on doing.

misslady79

That is what I wanted to do, but my DH can't keep a secret. The first person he would tell would be my MIL, then the entire state of Texas would know(we're in Georgia).

thenewmrsrussell

I am (hopefully) going to find out on Wednesday. I can't wait. I just remember that when my niece was born it really helped us all bond so much more. It went from being just "the baby" to being "Haileigh". It doesn't sound like much but it makes a huge difference (at least, it did to us). I am hoping to get this same closeness when we find out the gender. I think it will also be more fun to begin imagining what this little girl/boy's personality will be like etc. You can imagine when you don't know the gender, sure, but it's still so much of a question that it's not the same (at least not to me). 

It is totally up to you though and there does seem to be a fair amount of people who don't find out and are very happy with their decision.

beachbride19

I found out with DD and I'm so glad that I did.  It did really help me bond with her and I hate gender neutral stuff.  I haven't been able to find out what I'm having this time (cord in the way) and I'm kinda bummed because I feel like I can't bond as well knowing it's a baby, not if I'm going to have another daughter or a son (I am still excited, don't get me wrong).

I also understand the excitement of the surprise, I just don't want to do it personally.

luckyluvr

First of all, with #1, we didn't find out b/c we thought it would be some big surprise. The only people who appreciated us waiting were older people. Anyone under the age of 35 couldn't believe we weren't finding out. Furthermore, it wasn't as great of a moment as I'd built up in my mind. Now with #2, we chose to find out. I found it more exciting to build up to the day of the u/s. Then when we were told it was a girl, I wasn't in pain, on drugs, lying on an operating table after 23 hours of labor, etc. I was able to enjoy the moment. Then I got to share it with everyone I love instead of having them find out through others b/c I'm in the hospital. Now, I'm enjoying the rest of my pg knowing that I have a little girl on the way. Of course, planning is easier, but for me it was about the excitement, and finding out was definitely more exciting for us. I will NEVER go for the surprise again if I have more children.

DomerJenC

We aren't finding out.  Everyone we talk to is so supportive of it (except my mom - she want's to shop. haha).  We think it'll make for a more exciting moment at the end, and also it's economical - it forces you to buy gender neutral for the big ticket items so you can reuse for the next baby.

Mike&Care

DomerJenC:

We aren't finding out.  Everyone we talk to is so supportive of it (except my mom - she want's to shop. haha).  We think it'll make for a more exciting moment at the end, and also it's economical - it forces you to buy gender neutral for the big ticket items so you can reuse for the next baby.

Nothing against not finding out (all of my cousins waited till the end and we are super close), but I can assure you that the end is the most exciting moment of all. It doesnt matter if you have/have not found out the gender, named the baby and had everything planned to a T or not, seeing YOUR baby is the most exciting moment of your life... I highly doubt you will need to add the suprise of gender to make it "more exciting". Just saying...

aldyn

If you can't decide whether or not you want to know, have the ultrasound tech find out and write it down and put it in an envelope for you.  That way if you decide that you must know, you won't miss your opportunity.

As for us, we opted to not find out, several reasons...

(1) I've heard of ultrasound people being wrong TOO often (both ways, not just telling you it's a girl when it's a boy).  Knowing my personality, I would always doubt it until the child was born anyway.  If for some reason I had to get an amnio, then I might consider finding out, because then I'd know for SURE and wouldn't doubt the results.

(2) This is our first child, there's a chance we may have another.  I'd like to have gender-neutral big ticket items as well as gender-neutral newborn things.  I actually love the color green!

(3) People always ask me, "how can you get ready?"  Well, in my view, I'm getting ready to have a baby ~ there's nothing girl-related or boy-related that I feel I need to get ready for at this point.

(4) I've heard that if you know the sex, you're a lot more likely to get clothing for gifts.  Don't get me wrong, any gift is great to get, but honestly, we need the more boring things like crib sheets and burp cloths.

Some things I've noticed - other than "How are you feeling?" the most common question I get is "What are you having?"  I just answer "A baby."  And, now that I'm at the point where I can detect body parts (like I'll wonder if that's a foot or knee poking out of my belly), I will admit I am more curious about whether it's a girl foot or a boy foot... So I am definitely curious, but I don't regret not finding out.  It adds an air of mystery to the whole process, gives me something else to think about rather than dwelling on my aching feet and other such pregnancy-related ailments!

kenandlaura06

We are not finding out.  People seem to feel very strongly either way that we are missing the boat by not finding out OR that it is great that we are having a surprise.   We decided to wait for all of the reasons that the previous poster said...we are very happy with our decision to wait.