+ I really, really, really love my IL's and I'm SO disappointed that we had to leave NY a day early due to bad weather coming in
+ Dh wants to go lay down and cuddle right now, and all I want is some good laptop time!
+ Since we drove my vehicle to NY, I'm seriously considering paying to have my SUV cleaned & carpet shampooed rather than doing it myself.....lazy!
** I am spotting and scared shitless that something bad is coming.?
** Can't think of anything else right now. #1 is too much to handle right now. ?
- I never clean my own car anymore. There are people for that. And God bless them for dealing with all the dog hair in my SUV.
- If AF is going to show, she needs to hurry. If she isn't going to show, then I need a bfp.
- My friend is coming over & I'm relieved since DH is gone tonight. I'm a baby about being at home alone. Even with over 200 lbs. of dogs to protect me.
- I'm going to drink til it's pink. Yep, I am.
++I am spotting a little, but I am not too worried. I am still a little worried, but will wait to see how long it lasts and if it gets worse before I call my dr.
++DH and I had sex and it didn't hurt for the first time since BFP...I am wondering if this has caused the spotting although that was 7hrs ago.
++I hate that I am at work when all I want to do is rest and put my feet up.
I am in a funk today. I wish AF would show up. This waiting game has me very sad.
I haven't told DH I am charting. I have a feeling he will roll his eyes and have something to say.
I want to eat, eat, eat. Even though I am on WW, there are Doritos calling my name.
* One of my bf called and told me her roomate had a m/c. She has mental problems, smokes, drinks excessively, and has not been using protection but telling everyone "if I get KU then I will just get an abortion". My first thought was not sympathy, it was good! She should not have a baby before I do. I am more worthy of a child than she is.
* I am really considering not TTC anymore, I just don't know if this is in god's plan for me
++ I really really want this cycle to be the one.
++ I bought a conception friendly lubricant today for the first time and am very scared to use it. I know what the box says, but a part of me thinks it will screw up his swimmers... I am nervous. Or maybe it will help them swim better in which case I should be excited to use it..... wonder if DH will like it?
++ I have realized that today's work force (atleast in my department) only do what they are paid to do, nothing more and nothing less. We just don't get the quality employees we used to. Everyone seems to have a "What's In It For Me?" attitude. Totally sucks. No work ethic anymore. It's depressing.
* I've stolen another computer so I can nest even when I'm not home yet
* I miss confessions since they're in the evenings and I can't do it because of work
* I really hope my being away from work for a while will make people stop hating me for no reason
* DH keeps reading everything I write because we're both really bored at BIL's apartment right now
I poas at 8 dpo just to see what would happen - its was negative.
I wasted a digital because thats all I had in the house.
I have been looking into adoption for several months and just told dh recently. I'm considering getting Adoption for Dummies.
** when its slow on here I go and check out first or second tri. Then hate myself for it later.
**Since the m/c I've eaten so shitty, mostly candy, infact almost only candy. Other then that I have no diet, and think why bother eating healthy....
**DH and I put up the tree and decorated it on thanksgiving night, and are now going to un-decorate it, because it was 'missing' something. We bought some beaded string, to see if that would do the trick.
**I got wasted with my boss and the doctor I work for and dont remember all of it.... not my smartest move!!
* I'm 9dpo. I have 4 pregnancy tests in the house and REALLY want to pee on one of them tomorrow!
* I don't think we had great timing this month, so that's why I'm debating number 1.
* I'd love more than anything to be pregnant before my edd's. First baby was due 12/3/07, 2nd was 12/19/08.
* While out shopping on Black Friday my mom convinced me to drop by Dollar tree and poas. I did and it was a BFN.
*I was only 7dpo when the aforementioned poas occurred.
*Since then I have taken 2 other tests.
*I think I may have a problem with poas...
After loosing my job 4 months ago, I go back to my company in a different dept. on Monday. I DON'T WANT TO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm taking a HUGE pay cut. The hours are going to be crazy and I'll have to work every 3rd Saturday. I HATE MY NEW JOB already and I haven't even started yet. I want to cry because I know this isn't what I want to do. I told dh I didn't think it would last long and he thought I was right.
I'm going to try and go in with a + attitude and put a smile on my face but I don't want to go back. I should be happy I found a job in this market, but I have an awful feeling in my stomach and can see myself walking out of there one day and not going back the next day.
I POAS today at 8 dpo. I don't even think I ovulated this cycle, but I had a temp of almost 99 (I'm making myself sick thinking about going back to work). Of course I got a BFN, but what ever.
**I'm on my 4th movie of the day and haven't showered yet today.
**I've been eating horribly and drinking lots of beer/wine since mc...gonna start exercising and eating better tomorrow.
* I POAS today just so I could see 2 lines. I haven't been feeling very positive lately. It didn't help as I had hoped.
* I have eaten VERY badly since Wednesday.
* I promised myself that Monday I was going to start eating better.
* I go out of town for a week this Friday and I will miss you guys! I hope I come back to TONS of BFPS!!!
++ I'm upset that my aunt is so insensitive. She was such a b*tch to me (and 4 other members of the family) for absolutely no reason. It made me cry in the bathroom for 15 minutes. I think she just wanted to make someone else feel horrible.
++ Am watching 3rd movie of the day.
++ Had a very large burrito for lunch/dinner and didn't feel at all guilty!
* AF left today and I am really getting nervous about wanting a bFP too much this cycle.
* I want a glass of wine so bad. It just helps me relax, but I have drank three nights in a row!