fess up: does your newborn sleep in the bed with you?

OUMedBride

I think that the poster who said she cringes at the thought probably meant she cringed at the potential consequences... like it or not, babies have died from being rolled over during co-sleeping.  Yes, they also die in cribs, but I can imagine few worse things as a parent than having physically killed my child in my sleep... I would never forgive myself.  To me, that is "cringeworthy".  Which isn't to say I've never co-slept; I certainly have on occasion and I love cuddling with DD.  But that particular potential consequence does make me cringe, and it is a reason I try to keep it to a minimum.  I certainly don't judge those who co-sleep though; I'm sure statistically it's no less safe than crib sleeping.  It's just the idea of potentially being physically responsible for her death... it really gives me the willies.

jennterrell

DS is 2 months, and has had issues with reflux and colic.

he sleeps about 60% of the time on his tummy on my chest in bed. He just won't sleep on his back well, and I've been too afraid to put him on his belly in the basket or crib. That said, I think tonight will be the first night i do that. I've watched him nap several days now on his belly, and he moves his head side to side while he is sleeping no problem.

I have several IRL friends who slept with their children in bed for a while. You do what works...

LyndsayQ

Yes, she does.  I never thought I would, but it worked out for us and we continue to do it. 

She typically sleeps a good 6" from the endge and I sleep in the middle of her and DH.   When she starts rolling I will use a bed rail.  I keep the covers on her legs only and am constantly checking on her.  But I do sleep fairly still since she sleeps next to me now.  I will try to transition her to her cradle and/or her crib in the next month or so to prepare for returning to work.  I know, however, she will probably still co-sleep part of the night even after the transition. 

FWIW, I am a child welfare caseworker and we recommend against co-sleeping.  HOWEVER, the clientele I work w/ are usually messed up in drugs and/or alcohol or have various partners in their beds.  

whitless

I always swore that I never would, but during the first few weeks I couldn't get DS to sleep at night other than on my chest.  I didn't sleep much because I was always on guard.  Now that he's not so little, he never sleeps with us.  He probably hasn't since about 4 weeks old.

Many of my friends in real life say the same thing...they swore they'd never do it, but desparate times call for desparte measures...

Tinsleigh75

OUMedBride:

I think that the poster who said she cringes at the thought probably meant she cringed at the potential consequences... like it or not, babies have died from being rolled over during co-sleeping.? Yes, they also die in cribs, but I can imagine few worse things as a parent than having physically killed my child in my sleep... I would never forgive myself.? To me, that is "cringeworthy".? Which isn't to say I've never co-slept; I certainly have on occasion and I love cuddling with DD.? But that particular potential consequence does make me cringe, and it is a reason I try to keep it to a minimum.? I certainly don't judge those who co-sleep though; I'm sure statistically it's no less safe than crib sleeping.? It's just the idea of potentially being physically responsible for her death... it really gives me the willies.

the only people that are going to roll over their babies are those that are drinking or taking drugs and then going to bed. ?there is no way in hell you are going to roll over your baby and then continue to sleep as you smother them to death (a process which does not/could not happen in a few seconds).?

again, i feel this is an uneducated/ignorant thing to say and scares people away from a sound practice that could benefit the baby, the mother, and the entire family.?

Mrs.Provost

Tinsleigh75:

OUMedBride:

I think that the poster who said she cringes at the thought probably meant she cringed at the potential consequences... like it or not, babies have died from being rolled over during co-sleeping.  Yes, they also die in cribs, but I can imagine few worse things as a parent than having physically killed my child in my sleep... I would never forgive myself.  To me, that is "cringeworthy".  Which isn't to say I've never co-slept; I certainly have on occasion and I love cuddling with DD.  But that particular potential consequence does make me cringe, and it is a reason I try to keep it to a minimum.  I certainly don't judge those who co-sleep though; I'm sure statistically it's no less safe than crib sleeping.  It's just the idea of potentially being physically responsible for her death... it really gives me the willies.

the only people that are going to roll over their babies are those that are drinking or taking drugs and then going to bed.  there is no way in hell you are going to roll over your baby and then continue to sleep as you smother them to death (a process which does not/could not happen in a few seconds). 

again, i feel this is an uneducated/ignorant thing to say and scares people away from a sound practice that could benefit the baby, the mother, and the entire family. 

I agree.

mary5198

To each his own. We've never done it, but don't judge anyone who does. Whatever works, right?

iris427

I have been co-sleeping since we first brought her home.  It's the only way I haven't been locked up from sleep-deprived insanity.

I like it and I never worry I will roll over on her.

laceloni81

We haven't had to co-sleep however our baby has been a pretty good sleeper.  My husband is also a freak in bed - he rips the covers out from the bottom (he's 6'5), uses 3 pillows and basically flails around in bed.  Oh yeah, he constantly has nightmares of having baby girl fall asleep in bed with us.  He gets up and is looking for her even though she is in her crib.  I wouldn't rule out the idea of having to co-sleep though because my next baby might not be quite as a sound sleeper as baby #1.  You do what you have to do. 

samfish2bcrab

I've napped with her after her morning feeding, but by that time my husband has gone to work (he's a heavy, but unpredictable sleeper.  he's poked me int he eye twice and swatted me with his arm once)   i've never actually slept with her in the bed, but every single night I wake up patting the covers looking for her.  Weird.

papagena

DS has slept in our bed for short stints every once in awhile.  Early on, it was when I fell asleep burping him during night feedings.  Just today, he slept on the bed with me.  He doesn't get to do it often, and at this point it hasn't messed up the rest of his sleeping schedule, he still sleeps on his own the entire night (sleeping in our bed happens very rarely).  I do know someone who co-sleeps with their DD.  I personally am too scared to do it (DH is a heavy sleeper, and I don't think I'd sleep well because I'd worry I'd roll over on him, not to mention the dog who co-sleeps with us).  When I do let him sleep, I make sure all the blankets & pillows are pretty far away from his face ( I did let the blanket cover his feet this morning) and generally, I sleep pretty light and make sure my arm is between him and the edge of the bed, plus we move into the middle of the bed. 

nooniesgal

I have on occasion but I did the same thing as the pp...I would wake up thinking she was under the sheets when she was in her bassinet.  My husband is also somewhat of a sleep walker and has crazy hands that fly around at night.  He didn't feel comfortable with her in the bed! 

 

OUMedBride

Tinsleigh75:

the only people that are going to roll over their babies are those that are drinking or taking drugs and then going to bed.  there is no way in hell you are going to roll over your baby and then continue to sleep as you smother them to death (a process which does not/could not happen in a few seconds). 

again, i feel this is an uneducated/ignorant thing to say and scares people away from a sound practice that could benefit the baby, the mother, and the entire family. 

You can disagree with my viewpoint all you like, but calling it uneducated or ignorant is pretty laughable.  From the American Academy of Pediatrics, published 10/10/05:

Bed sharing between an infant and adult(s) is a highly controversialtopic. Although electrophysiologic and behavioral studies offera strong case for its effect in facilitating breastfeeding andthe enhancement of maternal-infant bonding,35,36 epidemiologicstudies of bed sharing have shown that it can be hazardous undercertain conditions. Several case series of accidental suffocationor death from undetermined cause suggest that bed sharing ishazardous.34,37?39 A number of case-control studies ofSIDS deaths have investigated the relationship of SIDS withparent(s) and/or other adults or children sleeping with an infant.16,31,40?48Some of these studies have found the correlation between deathand bed sharing to reach statistical significance only amongmothers who smoked.41,47 However, the European Concerted Actionon SIDS study,42 which was a large multisite study, found thatbed sharing with mothers who did not smoke was a significantrisk factor among infants up to 8 weeks of age. Similarly, amore recent study conducted in Scotland48 found that the riskof bed sharing was greatest for infants younger than 11 weeks,and this association remained among infants with nonsmokingmothers. The risk of SIDS seems to be particularly high whenthere are multiple bed sharers31 and also may be increased whenthe bed sharer has consumed alcohol or is overtired.42,47 Also,the risk of SIDS is higher when bed sharing occurs with younginfants.40?42 It is extremely hazardous when adults sleepwith an infant on a couch.31,40,41,48 Finally, the risk of bedsharing is higher the longer the duration of bed sharing duringthe night.41,47 Returning the infant to his or her crib wasnot associated with an increased risk in 2 studies,40,41 andin another, the risk was significant only when the bed sharingoccurred for more than 1 hour or for the whole night.16 Thereis growing evidence that room sharing (infant sleeping in theparent's room) without bed sharing is associated with a reducedrisk of SIDS.41,42,43,48 Data from the European Concerted Actionon SIDS42 study led to the recommendation by its authors thatthe most protective sleep setting for an infant is in a cribin the parents' room. On the basis of their study results, investigatorsin Scotland48 endorsed the United Kingdom Department of Health'sadvice that the safest place for an infant to sleep is in acrib in the parents' room for the first 6 months of life.

Tinsleigh75

OUMedBride:

Tinsleigh75:

the only people that are going to roll over their babies are those that are drinking or taking drugs and then going to bed.  there is no way in hell you are going to roll over your baby and then continue to sleep as you smother them to death (a process which does not/could not happen in a few seconds). 

again, i feel this is an uneducated/ignorant thing to say and scares people away from a sound practice that could benefit the baby, the mother, and the entire family. 

You can disagree with my viewpoint all you like, but calling it uneducated or ignorant is pretty laughable.  From the American Academy of Pediatrics, published 10/10/05:

Bed sharing between an infant and adult(s) is a highly controversialtopic. Although electrophysiologic and behavioral studies offera strong case for its effect in facilitating breastfeeding andthe enhancement of maternal-infant bonding,35,36 epidemiologicstudies of bed sharing have shown that it can be hazardous undercertain conditions. Several case series of accidental suffocationor death from undetermined cause suggest that bed sharing ishazardous.34,37?39 A number of case-control studies ofSIDS deaths have investigated the relationship of SIDS withparent(s) and/or other adults or children sleeping with an infant.16,31,40?48Some of these studies have found the correlation between deathand bed sharing to reach statistical significance only amongmothers who smoked.41,47 However, the European Concerted Actionon SIDS study,42 which was a large multisite study, found thatbed sharing with mothers who did not smoke was a significantrisk factor among infants up to 8 weeks of age. Similarly, amore recent study conducted in Scotland48 found that the riskof bed sharing was greatest for infants younger than 11 weeks,and this association remained among infants with nonsmokingmothers. The risk of SIDS seems to be particularly high whenthere are multiple bed sharers31 and also may be increased whenthe bed sharer has consumed alcohol or is overtired.42,47 Also,the risk of SIDS is higher when bed sharing occurs with younginfants.40?42 It is extremely hazardous when adults sleepwith an infant on a couch.31,40,41,48 Finally, the risk of bedsharing is higher the longer the duration of bed sharing duringthe night.41,47 Returning the infant to his or her crib wasnot associated with an increased risk in 2 studies,40,41 andin another, the risk was significant only when the bed sharingoccurred for more than 1 hour or for the whole night.16 Thereis growing evidence that room sharing (infant sleeping in theparent's room) without bed sharing is associated with a reducedrisk of SIDS.41,42,43,48 Data from the European Concerted Actionon SIDS42 study led to the recommendation by its authors thatthe most protective sleep setting for an infant is in a cribin the parents' room. On the basis of their study results, investigatorsin Scotland48 endorsed the United Kingdom Department of Health'sadvice that the safest place for an infant to sleep is in acrib in the parents' room for the first 6 months of life.

first of all, reading one article from ONE source does not make you educated.  it means you read one article.

second of all, the source you cited is from 2005.  let's fine something more current.  and, it's the APA, which is worried about lawsuits, and therefore has to take a tough stance on co-sleeping.  if they say it's a-ok and then some jackass decides to get drunk and sleep with their baby, then that same jackass will try and blame the APA for telling them it was okay.

your source = FAIL  you cannot call yourself educated when you only research ONE SIDE of a topic.  you are educated when you research ALL SIDES of the topic.  that is like voting after only reading the candidate's platform that you know you want to vote for before you even read it.  it isn't educated and it is ignorant.

MrsGo4Hockeychick

June_Bug08:

yup, since day one! We have no issues with it and it can actually reduce the chance of SIDS if done correctly. It is also easy for us since I BF.

same here. She's slept with us since day 1. Once she starts dropping a night time feeding, I'll probably begin starting her out in the cradle in our room and bringing her to bed with us after she eats though.

lvisser

Nope. 

lvisser

And I personally think that the girls comment about "cringing at the thought of putting her DC in a crib" is offensive.

MrsGo4Hockeychick

lvisser:

And I personally think that the girls comment about "cringing at the thought of putting her DC in a crib" is offensive.

get a sense of humor. 

MrsTotty

Tinsleigh75:

OUMedBride:

Tinsleigh75:

the only people that are going to roll over their babies are those that are drinking or taking drugs and then going to bed.  there is no way in hell you are going to roll over your baby and then continue to sleep as you smother them to death (a process which does not/could not happen in a few seconds). 

again, i feel this is an uneducated/ignorant thing to say and scares people away from a sound practice that could benefit the baby, the mother, and the entire family. 

I totally agree. So, because you found one 'source' on the internet that means you're right and more than half the world's cultures are wrong.  Yah ... not buying that.

We co-slept off and on when the mouse was very young ... but we only had a full-sized bed at the time and it got very crowded very quickly. However, when it needed to work, it did, and it was great. He sleeps 100% in his crib now.

You can disagree with my viewpoint all you like, but calling it uneducated or ignorant is pretty laughable.  From the American Academy of Pediatrics, published 10/10/05:

Bed sharing between an infant and adult(s) is a highly controversialtopic. Although electrophysiologic and behavioral studies offera strong case for its effect in facilitating breastfeeding andthe enhancement of maternal-infant bonding,35,36 epidemiologicstudies of bed sharing have shown that it can be hazardous undercertain conditions. Several case series of accidental suffocationor death from undetermined cause suggest that bed sharing ishazardous.34,37?39 A number of case-control studies ofSIDS deaths have investigated the relationship of SIDS withparent(s) and/or other adults or children sleeping with an infant.16,31,40?48Some of these studies have found the correlation between deathand bed sharing to reach statistical significance only amongmothers who smoked.41,47 However, the European Concerted Actionon SIDS study,42 which was a large multisite study, found thatbed sharing with mothers who did not smoke was a significantrisk factor among infants up to 8 weeks of age. Similarly, amore recent study conducted in Scotland48 found that the riskof bed sharing was greatest for infants younger than 11 weeks,and this association remained among infants with nonsmokingmothers. The risk of SIDS seems to be particularly high whenthere are multiple bed sharers31 and also may be increased whenthe bed sharer has consumed alcohol or is overtired.42,47 Also,the risk of SIDS is higher when bed sharing occurs with younginfants.40?42 It is extremely hazardous when adults sleepwith an infant on a couch.31,40,41,48 Finally, the risk of bedsharing is higher the longer the duration of bed sharing duringthe night.41,47 Returning the infant to his or her crib wasnot associated with an increased risk in 2 studies,40,41 andin another, the risk was significant only when the bed sharingoccurred for more than 1 hour or for the whole night.16 Thereis growing evidence that room sharing (infant sleeping in theparent's room) without bed sharing is associated with a reducedrisk of SIDS.41,42,43,48 Data from the European Concerted Actionon SIDS42 study led to the recommendation by its authors thatthe most protective sleep setting for an infant is in a cribin the parents' room. On the basis of their study results, investigatorsin Scotland48 endorsed the United Kingdom Department of Health'sadvice that the safest place for an infant to sleep is in acrib in the parents' room for the first 6 months of life.

first of all, reading one article from ONE source does not make you educated.  it means you read one article.

second of all, the source you cited is from 2005.  let's fine something more current.  and, it's the APA, which is worried about lawsuits, and therefore has to take a tough stance on co-sleeping.  if they say it's a-ok and then some jackass decides to get drunk and sleep with their baby, then that same jackass will try and blame the APA for telling them it was okay.

your source = FAIL  you cannot call yourself educated when you only research ONE SIDE of a topic.  you are educated when you research ALL SIDES of the topic.  that is like voting after only reading the candidate's platform that you know you want to vote for before you even read it.  it isn't educated and it is ignorant.

Marie Tourville

My children have never slept in a crib.  Not one night.  The family bed just works for us.

 

As for safety, please check out this page.  Dr. James McKenna has done extenisive studies of sleep for both mother and child and is a huge supporter of co-sleeping.  There links to numerous articles and info on the safety of co-sleeping.  

https://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/aap.html

 

When done right co-sleeping is actually safer then crib sleeping because it cuts down on SIDS risks.  As I've said before, get your facts straight.  It may not be right for you but that doesn't mean that it's dangerous.  Facts are a good thing and being informed helps in any debate, no matter what side you are on.

MrsGo4Hockeychick

OUMedBride:

You can disagree with my viewpoint all you like, but calling it uneducated or ignorant is pretty laughable.  From the American Academy of Pediatrics, published 10/10/05:

Bed sharing between an infant and adult(s) is a highly controversialtopic. Although electrophysiologic and behavioral studies offera strong case for its effect in facilitating breastfeeding andthe enhancement of maternal-infant bonding,35,36 epidemiologicstudies of bed sharing have shown that it can be hazardous undercertain conditions. Several case series of accidental suffocationor death from undetermined cause suggest that bed sharing ishazardous.34,37?39 A number of case-control studies ofSIDS deaths have investigated the relationship of SIDS withparent(s) and/or other adults or children sleeping with an infant.16,31,40?48Some of these studies have found the correlation between deathand bed sharing to reach statistical significance only amongmothers who smoked.41,47 However, the European Concerted Actionon SIDS study,42 which was a large multisite study, found thatbed sharing with mothers who did not smoke was a significantrisk factor among infants up to 8 weeks of age. Similarly, amore recent study conducted in Scotland48 found that the riskof bed sharing was greatest for infants younger than 11 weeks,and this association remained among infants with nonsmokingmothers. The risk of SIDS seems to be particularly high whenthere are multiple bed sharers31 and also may be increased whenthe bed sharer has consumed alcohol or is overtired.42,47 Also,the risk of SIDS is higher when bed sharing occurs with younginfants.40?42 It is extremely hazardous when adults sleepwith an infant on a couch.31,40,41,48 Finally, the risk of bedsharing is higher the longer the duration of bed sharing duringthe night.41,47 Returning the infant to his or her crib wasnot associated with an increased risk in 2 studies,40,41 andin another, the risk was significant only when the bed sharingoccurred for more than 1 hour or for the whole night.16 Thereis growing evidence that room sharing (infant sleeping in theparent's room) without bed sharing is associated with a reducedrisk of SIDS.41,42,43,48 Data from the European Concerted Actionon SIDS42 study led to the recommendation by its authors thatthe most protective sleep setting for an infant is in a cribin the parents' room. On the basis of their study results, investigatorsin Scotland48 endorsed the United Kingdom Department of Health'sadvice that the safest place for an infant to sleep is in acrib in the parents' room for the first 6 months of life.

 

I'm fairly certain those facts were also taken from a study funded largely by the JPMA. Which is made of crib manufacturers. Not exactly unbiased.

 

ETA: It also doesn't explain the fact that in countries where cosleeping is the norm, SIDS rates are lower.

MrsTotty

Sorry, this was supposed to be my reply:

"I totally agree. So, because you found one 'source' on the internet that means you're right and more than half the world's cultures are wrong.  Yah ... not buying that.

We co-slept off and on when the mouse was very young ... but we only had a full-sized bed at the time and it got very crowded very quickly. However, when it needed to work, it did, and it was great. He sleeps 100% in his crib now."