I have to get this off my mind....

PoundCake

I have to have a c-section with this baby.  And I'm scared sh1tless. 

I have really bad anxiety and cannot take my medication because they don't know what it could do to the baby.  So I talk it out with my doctor. 

With my first, I thought I'd go in, push and be done.  It turned out to be the worst experience of my life with 19 hours of natural labor because all the epis failed, pre-e, emergency c-section and getting knocked out for it because the spinals failed, not coming out of it as soon as I was supposed to, a blood patch because the spinal fluid was leaking, a long hospital stay, a blood transfusion a week later, BP meds, and feeling sick for months.

I was actually 85% sure I wasn't having another and then this oops pregnancy happened.  Now everytime I turn around, I read of someone dying in childbirth.  I read Matt, Liz, and Madelines blog before I got pg so I know what happened.  And I also have had a blood clot for 3 months now that I take aspirin for daily.

I'm just so scared to do this all over.  I wanted to get it out because maybe you will understand this, no one else does.

Thanks for listening and if you want to say I'm nuts, Its ok,lol.  I just don't want to be known along the same lines as the bitten by a bat nestie!

ghjunkie

You'll be fine!!! Think POSITIVE!  I had a C 12yrs ago and if (please GOD please) I have the miracle of becoming pregnant again it will definitely be a scheduled C delivery.  42hrs of labor was just TOO MUCH!

Good Luck!!!!

femmegem

(((hugs)))

I'm sorry you're so afraid. Your first birth sounds like it was a real nightmare. Hopefully this one will be easy. I really hope it is and that your fears are groundless. But I don't think you're nuts. It sounds like there are concrete reasons for you to be afraid. But I don't know if that helps or not.

 

luckyluvr

I agree with pp to keep thinking positive. Remember, the bad/sad stories are printed more often than the good outcomes, so it seems like the bad stuff is happening more often than it really is. Plus, maybe you had so many difficulties with your last b/c it was an emergency situation. Now that they know your reactions and that it's going to be scheduled procedure, they'll be prepared. You'll be fine, just remember that. If you keep thinking about the negative, it will only stress you and the baby out and make the bad stuff happen (self-fulfilled prophecy). Women have c-sections every day w/o complications. You've got a long way to go still; please try not to dwell on it. GL

LeoChic

Oh gosh....you have every reason to be nervous, anxious, etc.  I would try to keep your thoughts positive though because as the old saying goes "what you fear, you create."

In all seriousness, talk to your doctor about your anxiety.  Maybe they could pinpoint all the things that are making you nervous and come up with a birth plan and after birth plan to help ease some of your anxiety.

I bet you will come out of this delivery with such ease that you will wonder what you were so worried about this whole time!!  It sounds to me that your first was so horrid partially because you tried to deliver vaginally and it didn't go well.  This time you get to bypass all that and go straight to the c-section which could really help the process go better for you.

mrsterry

You have every right to be nervous.  Just remember that while every pregnancy is unique, so are the deliveries, and the children that result from them.  My pg with DS#3 was a nightmare (in the beginning) in comparison, but the delivery was a breeze.  With DS#2 I ended up in a c-section after 14 hours of labor and full pitocin because I just was not dilating.  With DS#3 I had a c-section scheduled, but went into labor on my own hours before I was due in the hospital....I was progressing very quickly.  I think I could've had him vaginally had I been in my right mind and not in so much pain...I dilated to 7cm in 3 hours without my water breaking....

So, while my story is not as traumatizing as yours, just remember that it can all be great and a total opposite of what you experienced before.  Good luck and try to stay positive.  (((HUGS)))

Littlejen22

First I wanted tto say that I did not know your experience was so similar to mine.  Pre-e at 39 weeks, induced, epidural did not fully take, jacked up with meds but since it did not take properly I needed general anestesia, BP meds (still on them).  I am doing a repeat c in less than 3 months.  It's all in how you look at it.  This time will be a spinal instead of epi, yes you still risk the spinal leak but the spinal is more likely to work than the epi so the chances of needing general anestesia this time are much lower.  I just want to be awake for DDs birth.  Good luck!

goodhartedmommy

Just wanted to offer a hug. Email me if you need to.