i need some advice on how to handle a situation i'm in.
my daughter will be a year old end of march and she hasn't had a sleepover at grandmas house yet. reason being i'm not ready and i feel shes too young yet. so I've made dinner plans for my birthday next month and asked my MIL if she could babysit. she said that my LO should sleep over cause it would be easier. I told her shes too young for that and i'm not ready. then i get from both my husband and my MIL "you said when shes a year" which i didn't i said over a year. then they go off now how i'm being to clingy wit her and need to let go and once the second baby comes i'll be leaving him/her with them at 3 months (not likely). My husband support my MIL and told me that he sees nothing wrong with it. also she went off on how my LO doesn't like the word no and that if she keeps up being upset she'll stop saying no and letting her have whatever she wants (which she does at their place). so that really doesn't make me want to leave my LO with them! My nephew lived with them for a few years and hes a huge brat who at 14 still throws temper tantrums!
what do i do? I've explained how I feel to them but its like talking to a wall. i just feel so alone..
Re: grandparents sleepover
You and you husband need to get on the same page with this. And then present a united front to your MIL. The fact that your H is siding with his mom, and driving a wedge between you two, is a huge red flag.
If your MIL will only babysit if your LO can sleepover, then be prepared to find another sitter or cancel your plans.
FWIW, I don't think a sleepover when your LO is one year old, is an unreasonable request. Why do you feel its too young? Does she not sleep well? Still breastfeeding?
Your nephew has no baring on this situation.
**** Formerly Snoflakes4eva****
This. I will GLADLY send my kids to my moms! How long you want to keep them mom?!
But seriously, yes it sucks that your husband isn't on your "side" but if he doesn't see a problem with an overnight at his mother's house then I understand him siding with her and not you. There are a lot of things in parenting that DH and I don't agree on but I wouldn't say that is a "red flag" like PP said above. I just have stronger beliefs about certain things and my DH is more laid back.
Personally, I would have no problem leaving a one year old with my inlaws. I trust my inlaws implicitly though - I know my MIL will dote on my daughter more than I will, and will take just as good of care of her. If it weren't that way, I wouldn't leave my baby with her. I wouldn't worry about your daughter being spoiled by her grandparents. That's what they're for! Kids are pretty good at understanding as time goes on that just because G&G let her do something doesn't mean it's how it'll go at home.
Bottom line. Think about your reasons for not wanting the sleepover yet, try to relax a little about it - really consider if you're just not ready yet or if you're being stubborn (I'm not saying you are, I'm just saying think about it). If after giving it good consideration you still don't want to, then I don't think you have to. But I would talk to your husband about not telling his mom that you're the reason it's not happening.