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Does dad need to stay in the hospital?

brittanyhathaway89brittanyhathaway89 member
edited May 2015 in July 2015 Moms
My boyfriend and I have decided its more important for him to go home and be with our 3 year old after the baby is born instead of staying in the hospital but people are acting like were crazy. Shouldnt both kids be equally important??

Does dad need to stay in the hospital? 111 votes

stay in the hospital with mom and baby
48% 54 votes
go home and take care of other kid
51% 57 votes
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Re: Does dad need to stay in the hospital?

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    Knottie99627423Knottie99627423 member
    I think this depends on your situation. It might be nice for your partner to be at the hospital to support you post birth and to bond with the baby. Also, depending on your birth experience, you may want your partner there to advocate for you. If you have someone who can stay with your other child maybe you could make it a fun sleepover type thing. All of your kids are of course important but it is okay that your newborn requires more work/attention than your 3 year old for a little bit.
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    rainbowBOOMrainbowBOOM member
    I think whatever your family feels most comfortable with is what should be done. Just have back up care plans in place for the 3 year old in the event of an emergency, or going into labor in the middle of the night.

    Do what works for you. It's a 3 day time span on average. Two nights In a hospital without your boyfriend while you're surrounded by medical professionals..........yes, I see how someone can think that's a terrible option. (Sarcasm)
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    beeishbeeish member
    You should do what works for you. My DH will be back and forth checking up on our son and the fur baby. We have a sitter for the week but he won't be with me 24/7. Once I'm out of the critical stage and LO is ok I don't see a problem with him leaving the hospital. DH visiting with our son will actually put me at ease and I won't be so stressed about not being home for awhile. It's all about what you feel comfortable with.
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    taboullio84taboullio84 member
    edited May 2015
    I didn't. " need " anyone with me. So do what's best for you family ... :)
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    gotdiesel2007gotdiesel2007 member
    I'll only be in the hospital for 24hrs unless something happens so I'm having a friend watch our kids while he stats with my, it's just not worth the driving and parking mess for him to go home
    DS #1 Born 01/23/09
    Married 03/18/10
    DS #2 Born 05/19/11
    DS #3 Due 07/26/15


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    LeannFranLeannFran member
    DH will stay in the hospital with the baby and I. DS will be close to 19months so he'll be staying with grandparents when DD arrives :) do what's best for you and your family and don't let others persuade you.
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    MrsTiger123MrsTiger123 member
    I told my husband to go home.   It's important for me that my son at home keeps some of his normal routine.   I don't want him to spend the night somewhere or with someone he never spends the night with.   We also don't have a guest room for family to stay in and I hate to put someone on the couch.   I am looking forward to the alone time with the baby honestly. 

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    MCH77MCH77 member
    DH will be there the first night, instead of with DS. I will have a c/s and know that I'll need his help. We will determine the next 2 nights as time goes on.

    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

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    manda82585manda82585 member
    I'm conflicted about this, as this is something we will have to figure out too. We have arranged for my mil to take my 2yr old while I'm in labor and for the first night. As for the 2nd night, I have been thinking I would probably be good with him going home and taking care of our older daughter. I don't like the idea of being alone at the hospital, but like you said, both children are equally important. We are just going to be playing the whole thing by ear I think. It all depends upon the day/time that I go into labor and have this baby. We have enough support around us though, that I know it will all work itself out so I'm not going to stress about it
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    NYMominCANYMominCA member
    I was in labor overnight so DH stayed with me then (obviously) but the 2nd night I was in the hospital he went home and stayed with our DD who was 6 at the time. I plan on him going home for nights with the 2 kids this go-around, too. He doesn't like hospitals, doesn't sleep well at them (tried when I had DD), etc. and I am going to need him as awake and alert as possible once we go home to help out.
    image
    Mama to two crazy kiddos
    J -- 9/04
    L -- 11/10
    E -- 7/15


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    shenry43shenry43 member
    Mine is going to go home and get back to work and take care of our 9 year old. He will then be taking off a few days of work to stay home with us while we all settle into life with a baby. He will of course visit the hospital!
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    Marinewife81Marinewife81 member
    The last time around, dh came home to take care of the dog since dd stayed with his parents. This time will either be the same or he'll also be taking care of the other 2 kids if they don't stay at his parent's house.
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    AziaNickAziaNick member
    I agree with the others, do what is best for you guys. My husband is staying with me the whole time. But this is also our first and we don't have any pets so he doesn't really have to go home.
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    CkorinesCkorines member
    gotdiesel2007 said:

    I'll only be in the hospital for 24hrs unless something happens so I'm having a friend watch our kids while he stats with my, it's just not worth the driving and parking mess for him to go home

    Tell me your secrets. I'm looking at every possible avenue to have the shortest hospital stay. I want to be home with my three year old asap. How do you do it in 24 hours.
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    gotdiesel2007gotdiesel2007 member
    Ckorines said:

    gotdiesel2007 said:

    I'll only be in the hospital for 24hrs unless something happens so I'm having a friend watch our kids while he stats with my, it's just not worth the driving and parking mess for him to go home

    Tell me your secrets. I'm looking at every possible avenue to have the shortest hospital stay. I want to be home with my three year old asap. How do you do it in 24 hours.
    Hospital policy first kid is 3 day stay each kid after is 24 hours min (exception for babies born at night, and complications that arise)
    DS #1 Born 01/23/09
    Married 03/18/10
    DS #2 Born 05/19/11
    DS #3 Due 07/26/15


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    CkorinesCkorines member
    Are you in the U.S.? Because I love this!
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    gotdiesel2007gotdiesel2007 member
    In Hawaii, I left just over 48 hours with my second in California.
    DS #1 Born 01/23/09
    Married 03/18/10
    DS #2 Born 05/19/11
    DS #3 Due 07/26/15


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    BeltrankarlaBeltrankarla member
    I don't think you are crazy, I actually think that's what we are doing for this baby. I have a one year old and she is crazy when confined in small spaces for a long period of time and I don't think a three year old is a whole lot different lol well if you do have your baby first please tell me how that goes!!!
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    CkorinesCkorines member
    @gotdiesel2007 you made my day! Love it. Here's hoping New Jersey will do the same thing!
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    mnj05mnj05 member
    Our plan right now is for my parents to stay in our house and take care of DS1. I'm hoping for a VBAC but if I end up with another c/s, I know I'll need DH to help me.

     imagePhotobucket

    TTC #1 since 3/2011
    DX: anovulatory and severe MFI
    DH is a testicular cancer survivor
    IVF#1 w/ICSI lupron, gonal f, ovidrel
    ER 6/15/12 6R 6M 6F! ET 6/20/12
    Beta #1: 154 Beta #2: 509 Beta #3: 7326
    Baby Boy born 3/1/2013
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    TTC#2: 6/2014 all testing came back normal

    IVF#2 (#1 for LO#2) 9/2014 - 17R 10M 10F 4 blasts frozen on day 6.

    FET #1 10/15/14 - Beta #1: 216  Beta #2: 823


    Baby Boy born 7/10/2015


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