I (finally!) got the clearance to DTD 12 weeks postpartum. My OB showed me where sex would be painful and...wow, it sure was. How did you all deal with this? My doc said I could use estrogen cream to get things going but I'd rather not b/c of the side effects. Did anyone else try this? Did anyone "practice" on vibrators before having your hubby go down there? I was feeling pretty confident about DTD but am now nervous.
You must have had a serious tear??? We DTD at 8 weeks PP. It was like a certain Madonna song... I almost called it off because it was painful, like losing my virginity. We didn't give up and after a little bit it was fine. Did you ask your dr if it will not hurt after a while longer? I might wait until then.
The first time we DTD wasn't great but it wasn't terribly painful. Towards the end it got painful but I think it was because we didn't use enough lube. If you're in that much pain I would wait a little longer before trying again.
My tears healed fine within a few weeks — I had some stubborn granulation tissue that wouldn't go away. So that's why I've had to delay things as much as we did.
Since this is our second go around and MW didn't tear as bad as she did on the first, we have DTD twice in a week. The first time I made sure that I kept lubing up as we changed positions. The best for MW is either missionary or her on top currently also talk with your husband about speed, depth etc.
After our first she had a 4th degree tear where it took her almost 2 years before sex wasn't painful. We are hoping that it will not be as bad this time around.
We tried literally the day after my PP checkup. Doc said I was good to go. Didn't have an issue DTD ,it was after. Started bleeding, so we waited two weeks, no problem during but bled again. So now we wait, going back to doc to make sure everything is still ok.
No it doesn't really matter. I had pretty minor tears, it's all about the healing. Some people 'overheal' and their bodies produce granulation tissue. The same thing happened to my OB. She's been treating mine with Silver Nitrate (it doesn't hurt) but mine is stubborn and keeps coming back. Most people only need one or two treatments. It's worth asking your OB to check for.
This happened to me and it's caused from nursing It actually happens to a lot of people who nurse bc it thins your lining. The estrogen cream helps but can also decrease your milk supply
I think granulation tissue can happen whether you're nursing or not. I stopped nursing around 6 weeks because of supply issues and continue to deal with annoying granulation tissue issues at 14 weeks pp. That said, my OB nursed for two years and also had granulation tissue issues.
Edited to say - I actually felt the jokes were a bit uncool. Sex postpartum is tricky for most women and it seems uncool to make fun of someone for seeking some help on that.
And I do have an awesome OB who is genuinely interested in helping me recover postpartum, and yes, that includes making sure sex is comfortable again. She is a woman and during an exam for granulation tissue, noticed I winced a bit when she touched an area. She said "Is this painful?" and I said "Yes!" and she said "That's typically where women have pain post-partum, try putting some estrogen cream there."
Um, I DO get to decide what hurts my feelings and these jokes did. It was hard for me to post about something so personal and feel it's inappropriate to imply that I was sleeping with my OB/GYN. Plus this is a post-partum message board, people should feel comfortable asking questions related to post-pregnancy sex-life without being ridiculed.
@cranch815 - Are saying it was true that I was sleeping with my female OB/GYN? Because I'm not sure what other truth you're referring to?
Also this community is for mothers who gave birth in December 2014 - if you just want to lurk to tell jokes, there are probably better forums for that.
@cranch815 - Are saying it was true that I was sleeping with my female OB/GYN? Because I'm not sure what other truth you're referring to?
Also this community is for mothers who gave birth in December 2014 - if you just want to lurk to tell jokes, there are probably better forums for that.
I don't know, most of us have been telling jokes around here since our pee sticks dried a year ago. It was kind of our thing. Then people couldn't handle it so now a lot of us are dirty lurkers.
@teaismCAgal yes I'm totally saying that you are sleeping with your female OBGYN. <---sarcasm
I was saying that us explaining internet etiquette is not mean, which I clearly stated in my last response. Thanks for directing me to another forum since you've been here all of 2 seconds. Good try.
OK, typical message boarding here: Someone says, "hey this hurt my feelings." And rather than going, "Ok, cool - we'll back off" the anonymous Internet response: "CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOKE???" or "We were HERE FIRST, so THERE!" I don't think that's particularly civil and it's not how I was raised to talk to people — nor how I'd want my children to. Clearly we have different communication styles and this back-and-forth isn't at all productive.
OK, typical message boarding here: Someone says, "hey this hurt my feelings." And rather than going, "Ok, cool - we'll back off" the anonymous Internet response: "CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOKE???" or "We were HERE FIRST, so THERE!" I don't think that's particularly civil and it's not how I was raised to talk to people — nor how I'd want my children to. Clearly we have different communication styles and this back-and-forth isn't at all productive.
Personally I don't find your response all that civil but I am not telling you that you can't or shouldn't be responding.
Plus there is a difference between "showed me where sex would be painful..." or however you initially phrased it versus...your clarification of, "I had pain as part of the routine exam and she explained sex might be painful and gave me cream."
I'm glad that in our absence, nothing really changed about how quickly people say they feel sorry for our families or imply that we are bad parents once they feel wronged. I'm an awesome parent, thank you very much.
I'd personally prefer my kids to come right out and tell someone that they think they're overreacting and need to suck it up versus being passive aggressive while also playing the victim.
I have been posting in D14 since last year, where were you @jpagano113 ? A lot of these "trolls" are women who helped this FTM in the last year. A lot of them had their history erased due to real internet trolls.
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Only she's NOT new, she's been here for ages, so I really don't get why she's calling us trolls. I definitely remember her posting throughout most, if not all, of my time here.
Yeah I'm not new. I just don't get why the need to bash people? The joking is funny and all but sometimes it's a little overboard. It's always the same group of women also.
Per the terms of usage, it looks like the posts in question were considered defamatory (i.e. something that is negative and untrue about another person and entity) and have been removed.
It looks like the old crew got bored on their new community so came back over to liven things up. I don't know whether to be excited or appalled. Either way, it's certain to be entertaining.
It looks like the old crew got bored on their new community so came back over to liven things up. I don't know whether to be excited or appalled. Either way, it's certain to be entertaining.
Nah, none of these people are even posting on the new community (nor have they ever been really) except me. It's unlikely to be very exciting - this place is dead.
Re: Doing the Deed (TMI alert)
Did you ask your dr if it will not hurt after a while longer? I might wait until then.
After our first she had a 4th degree tear where it took her almost 2 years before sex wasn't painful. We are hoping that it will not be as bad this time around.
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And I do have an awesome OB who is genuinely interested in helping me recover postpartum, and yes, that includes making sure sex is comfortable again. She is a woman and during an exam for granulation tissue, noticed I winced a bit when she touched an area. She said "Is this painful?" and I said "Yes!" and she said "That's typically where women have pain post-partum, try putting some estrogen cream there."
ETA: people are allowed to crack a joke. If you find it offensive, keep scrolling. Also, who are you to decide what is okay?
This is also not just a postpartum board. Many women that talk on here, or lurk around, have been here since BFP.
I was saying that us explaining internet etiquette is not mean, which I clearly stated in my last response. Thanks for directing me to another forum since you've been here all of 2 seconds. Good try.
Plus there is a difference between "showed me where sex would be painful..." or however you initially phrased it versus...your clarification of, "I had pain as part of the routine exam and she explained sex might be painful and gave me cream."