Hey there! I'm mobile, so bare with me
. My SO and I have been together for over 3 years. We both have dd's from previous relationships- mine is 11 and his is almost 4. We are expecting a baby boy in just a couple of weeks. I have been in his dd's life since she was 6 mos old. He moved in with me when she was about a year.
His DD is with us about 6 nights a month ( plus a day each midweek) and I love her! My problem is- and has been for the past nearly 3 years, is that she needs someone to sleep with her. My SO tried to bring her into our bed initially- which I can't do! If you bed share, wonderful! But I can't do that... and wouldn't appreciate my daughter sleeping in bed with her step mom and father- but to each their own. So, for the last two years, whenever she's here, I basically sleep alone- whatever, I know it could be worse. If he puts her to sleep and comes to bed, she comes and gets him and drags him to her room to sleep. I've talked to him about it several times (probably every other weekend that she's here since they moved in and sometimes in between) and he gets really sensitive- "be patient, babe"... like waiting it out for well over 2 years isn't being patient? I recommended getting a gate for her door, but he just dismisses me. I've talked to SD about showing her baby brother how she is a big girl and sleeps in her big girl bed, and she just stares at me or shakes her head "no". I feel like he's had plenty of time to sleep train her and we are nearing a big change. SD is going to correlate baby with taking her dad away at night and I'm really nervous about this. Plus, the selfish part of me (maybe it's all selfish, idk) is like- well, what is going to happen when she barges into our room to get her dad and she wakes the baby?
I believe what makes it harder is the fact that she has no bed of her own at her moms.
My dd never had sleep issues and loved to be in her bed alone, so I don't know what to do. Do any of you wonderful people have advice?
TIA!
Re: Intro and question
My only advice is to have a talk with your SO about your concerns and then see why he doesn't find it to be a concern? Communication is key and you two have to be on the same page. Honestly, prior to moving in it should have been addressed how you two would co parent within your own household since you both were bringing in children from previous relationships. With your new LO arriving in a couple weeks and depending on the visitation schedule, I wouldn't expect it to change any time soon but you'll also need your SO on the same page and then patience and a routine with SD. Good luck and congratulations on your new LO!
Thanks again!!