Nope. I'm relapsing back to my snarky ways! Lol I meant did the snake-tourniquet work? Did the guy live?
Me-24~~ DH-25~~Married 6/15/2013~~Pregnant with our first due April 2, 2015~ Septate/ Bicornuate/Arcuate /some kind of not-normal uterus- won't know for sure which one till after babe is born~~Hoping for a full term baby!
Sounds like someone just wanted to talk shit on their in-laws. Sorry, OP. You can't complain about how someone lives in their own home. I've been in confrontational situations and the easiest thing to do is not fight fire with fire.
Agree. I used to not get along with my in-laws and spent years wishing they wouldn't "be so mean to me." Guess who the common denominator kind of was...?
Yeah sorry honey I work two jobs am 22 weeks tomorrow and throw up constantly STILL. Not to mention I also have multiple sclerosis. IT CAN BE DONE. Do I feel amazing? Haha no but I'm healthy enough according to my doctors and working so I can pay/provide for my child, something a mother has to do. Grow up OP, put on your big girl panties and either clean the house yourself, or just deal with it. It sucks and I'm sorry for your loss but you need to control your own happiness/destiny here. Where there is a will, there is a way.
Two months. It doesn't stop there- I've had horrible, debilitating ms my whole pregnancy. It never went away. The other day I walked in and he was cleaning w bleach and vinegar and eating sardines. I immediately puked and then he got mad at me for puking. I lost my job Bc of my ms, hence us not being about to rent a place in the meantime.
But again, he can clean with and eat whatever he wants in his own home. You're the imposition, not him.
Agree with @RHoPA1109. Also, what do you mean you lost your job because of morning sickness? Illegal anyone? Or were there other reasons and this is how you're justifying it?
I get it- you all think I'm nuts for living here but it is so far out of my hands at this point. I'm not going to a homeless shelter pregnant. The big question is how do I deal w these dicks in the long run? I basically want to excommunicate my daughter and I from this family but don't want to lose my husband.
Nope. Can't do it. It's not fair to your child to not allow them to know a relative (with the exception of some kind of abuser.) All I have to judge is from your post, so I certainly don't know if this man is mentally/verbally abusing you, but for now I think it sounds more like he's an extreme annoyance and you all are sharing too small of a space. Just because someone is an annoyance is no reason to cut them out of your child's life. That's not fair to anyone. Just my opinion!
No offense- this isn't very helpful. How about some real advice? I've made it clear that leaving right now isn't an option. Staying is driving me insane. Help??
I'm a mortgage loan officer and @rsaj0807 said exactly what I was thinking. Without being offensive, and just honestly trying to offer some real advice, how can you not afford a temporary rental but you can afford a build and a mortgage? #1 piece of financial advice I can ever offer if just because the bank says you can afford, doesn't mean you actually can (and maintain the lifestyle you want. Ramen noodles get old after a while.)
Let's see, could you pay a mortgage and rental simultaneously while unemployed and five months pregnant w the inability to work? Yeah, me neither, I only have so much savings to get me to the other side.
I've never seen a construction loan with anything other than interest payment monthly. No real "mortgage" payment yet. Still concerned. And are you going to be employed immediately prior to or after getting this new house?
DH says he thought you closed on the loan after it's built. So what is she paying a mortgage on?
I agree. We built new and didn't pay/close on the house until it was built and inspected. Then we had the closing and started our mortgage. We didn't even have any interest payments until closing.
***********siggy warning **********
Me: 26 DH: 27
TTC #1 Since Aug. 2013
Cycle 1: O CD 25=bfn
Cycle 2: O CD 48=bfn
Cycle 3: Anovulatory/Provera =120 days!
Cycle 4: Anovulatory/Prometrium=127 days! RE consult 6/16
DH says he thought you closed on the loan after it's built. So what is she paying a mortgage on?
Most construction loans have you pay the interest on any outstanding advances you've made on the loan. Not defending OP- I think she's either a) bat shit crazy or b) just a complainer hoping for a hair pet. I'm building right now while making interest payments. (And my mortgage. And have kept my banking job with extreme morning sickness, a high risk pregnancy, bad cases of Braxton Hicks, and just general dysfunction of every day life. :-) )
Okay yeah that's what I thought, you don't pay a full mortgage until the house is done. I can see paying something during construction but OP is getting hosed if she's paying full payments during the early process. And again, wouldn't the loan get denied if one of them was unemployed and they needed both incomes to make the payments? I know a few friends who had to walk away from that and lost a lot of money in deposits and what not.
She wouldn't answer any of my questions. So I suspect there is more to the story, it's complete mud, or she does have other options but they are all shitty and she's not ready to accept that yet.
You are correct on the loan points! And I suspect you are more than correct on your suspicions of the OP as well.
I took a posting break here after sharks post about us regs and all the snark. I know my snark is loud and proud so I figured silence was the best way to go. I stayed silent when all kinds of SS posters came out of the woodwork that I had previously snarked on for being the SS that they are. I stayed silent when new posters came out with stupid repetitive threads. I all together skipped most of the threads this weekend knowing my resolve to be silent might be tested beyond what is considered reasonable. I was proud of the the other snarky regs and how well they kept their shit together and snark down. Then i saw this POS - all of a sudden keeping radio silence doesn't feel so important. to all you regulars who kept your snark in check I tip my hat to your effort, but as my old pal Homer Simpson once said "we tried and failed - the lesson here is to never try"
Okay yeah that's what I thought, you don't pay a full mortgage until the house is done. I can see paying something during construction but OP is getting hosed if she's paying full payments during the early process. And again, wouldn't the loan get denied if one of them was unemployed and they needed both incomes to make the payments? I know a few friends who had to walk away from that and lost a lot of money in deposits and what not.
She wouldn't answer any of my questions. So I suspect there is more to the story, it's complete mud, or she does have other options but they are all shitty and she's not ready to accept that yet.
I think there is a lot more to the story too. I asked a couple of times about her H and got no response. If it is really bad wouldn't the H not want to live there?
***********siggy warning **********
Me: 26 DH: 27
TTC #1 Since Aug. 2013
Cycle 1: O CD 25=bfn
Cycle 2: O CD 48=bfn
Cycle 3: Anovulatory/Provera =120 days!
Cycle 4: Anovulatory/Prometrium=127 days! RE consult 6/16
Where is her husband in all of this?? Shouldn't she be discussing this with him? Clearly she didn't want advice, just wanted us to feel sorry for her. I have HG and haven't been to work since August so I get the MS part but the rest of her story makes no damn sense.
Okay yeah that's what I thought, you don't pay a full mortgage until the house is done. I can see paying something during construction but OP is getting hosed if she's paying full payments during the early process. And again, wouldn't the loan get denied if one of them was unemployed and they needed both incomes to make the payments? I know a few friends who had to walk away from that and lost a lot of money in deposits and what not.
She wouldn't answer any of my questions. So I suspect there is more to the story, it's complete mud, or she does have other options but they are all shitty and she's not ready to accept that yet.
I am in NO way defending the OP, but we are in fact building at this very moment. We aren't buying thru a builder - we're doing it ourselves, and we had a single closing and pay interest only on the amount that's been advanced up to this point. If I were to lose my job, the bank really wouldn't have any idea. Still, def something off about the story...
The bank won't have any idea (nor control over the loan they already approved) until you go to take your construction loan to permanent financing. At that point, you will either be hurting or completely screwed if you're like 80% of the country. If you're in that 20%, more power to you! Again, just FYI points. Not arguing what you said. I am a loan officer (and also building) so I have a lot of insight on this. :-) good luck on your build!!
I know I'm late to the party but to give you real life advice my sister gave me that both made me get off my ass and quit fucking bitching when my stepdad made life miserable.
Get your own spot or stfu.
When I complained to my sister, I fully expected hair petting and commiseration. When I got none, I didn't attack my sister for lack of "support". I put my big girl panties on and dealt with it until I did something about it. Best thing she could have done for me.
You are going to be a mother, assuming you aren't actually an internet troll, life is only going to get harder; MS and loss not withstanding.
Re: BA
Me-24~~ DH-25~~Married 6/15/2013~~Pregnant with our first due April 2, 2015~ Septate/ Bicornuate/Arcuate /some kind of not-normal uterus- won't know for sure which one till after babe is born~~Hoping for a full term baby!
Where there is a will, there is a way.
But again, he can clean with and eat whatever he wants in his own home. You're the imposition, not him.
Agree with @RHoPA1109. Also, what do you mean you lost your job because of morning sickness? Illegal anyone? Or were there other reasons and this is how you're justifying it?
Get your own spot or stfu.
When I complained to my sister, I fully expected hair petting and commiseration. When I got none, I didn't attack my sister for lack of "support". I put my big girl panties on and dealt with it until I did something about it. Best thing she could have done for me.
You are going to be a mother, assuming you aren't actually an internet troll, life is only going to get harder; MS and loss not withstanding.
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