This is still quite new and I'm just figuring out what exactly my DS is doing right now. But I can say that he has developed a method of asking for things by howling, pointing, and flopping. If it's ok for him to do/have, I say something like, "That's not how we get what we want. We ask nicely. Say 'Mommy, may I have this, please?'" If it's not ok, I try to do anything but pick him up and carry him. That just seems to make him feel powerless and fuels the fire. Sometimes just an acknowledgement of what he wants followed by a "no" works. Sometimes I have to distract. Sometimes I have to "bargain" (I'll give you this, if you give me that; or we'll do that later, but we're doing this now). If none of this works, I ignore him for about 15 seconds, then try again. And if all else fails, we do a time-out.
I would love for "UGHHHH" to be the extent of his tantrums. What's *that* mom do?
I voted once a day, but I'm probably under-counting. DS has these massive tantrums whereby he would scream and roll on the floor for 30+ minutes and there's nothing you can do to stop him. We've tried ignoring, re-directing, holding him, not holding him, speaking softly, not speaking, bribing with treats, nothing works to stop these tantrums. Eventually he exhausts himself out.
Because of how ridiculous his "long" tantrums are, I think we tend to not remember the more typical 5 - 10 minute crying/screaming ones as they pale in comparison.
Depends and it tends to go in cycles. DD has never been much into tantrums, she internalizes everything which I actually think is worse (for her, makes me look like an awesome parent). If she gets upset she will go in her room and give me the silent treatment for an hour...she is 3!
DS isn't into elaborate displays, he is way more into retribution for whatever wrong he feels has been inflicted on him - usually throwing shit everywhere.
This too shall pass. There are definitely a lot of rough days.
DD almost 2.5 has basically stopped the role on the ground/screaming type tantrums. I think she finally realized they are not effective in getting what she wants.
She is as a pp mentioned huge into retaliation now (hasn't fully realized this doesn't get her what she wants either). So, she likes to throw things, or specifically do things like teasing the dog, or get into things that she knows are off limits when she doesn't get her way. She loses a lot of toys and we do a LOT of time outs.
I voted 2-3, but I think that it's also a little of perception, personality of the child and you, and reaction which shapes how often they occur and how long the daily tantrum period lasts.
Meaning for example, a few weeks ago I was at the park chatting with another mom. Her son (3ish) comes over and says "I want to go there" (playground for the school on the opposite side of the fence). Mom says no and kid sort of huffs, crosses his arms and lets out a big UGHHHH. Mom turns to me and starts apologizing I had to witness this "tantrum"..... um if you qualify that as a tantrum then you're probably going to see about 100 a day for the next 18 years.
This! Everyone's perception of a tantrum is different. DS definitely has times that he gets mad and cries or or whatever, but they're short lived and he gets over them quickly so I don't really consider them tantrums. I have a friend who considers these to be tantrums so in her eyes, her daughter has tantrums all the time.
I consider a tantrum to be when DS goes into psycho mode. Screaming and crying, rolling around and impossible to deal with. He's 2.5 and they are finally starting to happen less often.
I will also add that I found with both my kids that around 18 months to a little after 2 is a really rough time. Discipline doesn't really have any impact at this age, they aren't great at communicating, and have very little control over their emotions. As they get older they are still challenging, but I feel like you start to get more tools you can use.
So at least with my kids the age of your son was my roughest point so far.
I voted 2-3, but this comes and goes in waves. We'll have great days where there's very little issue, and bad days where everything turns into a battle.
Re: It's mom-related and it's a lot of work to deal with, so it's kind of WMR. And I like polls.
I voted once a day, but I'm probably under-counting. DS has these massive tantrums whereby he would scream and roll on the floor for 30+ minutes and there's nothing you can do to stop him. We've tried ignoring, re-directing, holding him, not holding him, speaking softly, not speaking, bribing with treats, nothing works to stop these tantrums. Eventually he exhausts himself out.
Because of how ridiculous his "long" tantrums are, I think we tend to not remember the more typical 5 - 10 minute crying/screaming ones as they pale in comparison.
Depends and it tends to go in cycles. DD has never been much into tantrums, she internalizes everything which I actually think is worse (for her, makes me look like an awesome parent). If she gets upset she will go in her room and give me the silent treatment for an hour...she is 3!
DS isn't into elaborate displays, he is way more into retribution for whatever wrong he feels has been inflicted on him - usually throwing shit everywhere.
This too shall pass. There are definitely a lot of rough days.
DD almost 2.5 has basically stopped the role on the ground/screaming type tantrums. I think she finally realized they are not effective in getting what she wants.
She is as a pp mentioned huge into retaliation now (hasn't fully realized this doesn't get her what she wants either). So, she likes to throw things, or specifically do things like teasing the dog, or get into things that she knows are off limits when she doesn't get her way. She loses a lot of toys and we do a LOT of time outs.
I will also add that I found with both my kids that around 18 months to a little after 2 is a really rough time. Discipline doesn't really have any impact at this age, they aren't great at communicating, and have very little control over their emotions. As they get older they are still challenging, but I feel like you start to get more tools you can use.
So at least with my kids the age of your son was my roughest point so far.